Waiting For God

I think

2012-01-31T03:17:00.000-08:00

-I have the best kids ever (but it's possible that I'm biased...no, probably not)
-Mondays suck
-that I punct.u.ate worse than the average bear
-I should work out more (or at all for that matter)
-and I would like to eat healthier too, but I'm too lazy (busy?)
-I need to get out more
-freshly cut grass smells nice
-flip-flops are the best
-Starbucks is laced with crack, and also too expensive
-smart is sexy
-it's getting to the point where I'm no fun anymore (I am sorry)
-I'm too worried about what other people think about me
-I amuse myself far more than I amuse anyone else
-it's time for bed!

Monday with Morgan

2012-01-30T02:22:00.000-08:00

5 on Friday

2012-01-27T03:09:00.000-08:00

1. I am _________ to a ridiculous extreme.

self reliant, stubborn.

2. I learn best through ________.

making my own mistakes and I prefer my mistakes remain private

3. I don’t like __________.

being judged, just because I am old doesn’t mean I am useless.

4. I pretend to be _________.

Thick skinned but I am really very sensitive, I am easily hurt and I cry way to easy but there is a good chance you will never know about it.

5. I care what people ___________.

Think of me, and I am annoyed that I do care.

Whiners

2012-01-26T03:08:00.000-08:00

I know it sounds odd, but I've got to thank all the whiners out there in the world. I'd like to thank the people that look around themselves and see nothing but perpetual pain and woe, and feel it necessary to tell the rest of us. For some reason I must look like a psychologist, or the complaint department for the world's issues? I know this because you always find me, and I want to thank you for always knowing exactly what to say to brighten my day and ensure that I will never have any hope other than my own. Where ever I am you are there dear whiners, and this is for you.

While we're standing in line at the coffee shop and the kids are a little busy you tell me the world is going to hell because young adults these days just don't work as hard, and that they should know the change from your drink within seconds. While I smile and hope the poor kids don't get too flustered knowing that patience has gone out the window with the advent of the computer. All the while astonished at how they can say hello to people, remember the recipe for your double skim cafe mocha with light fat free whip and a shot of sugar free mint for the holidays, while calculating the change from a twenty for your three dollar and thirty seven cent drink, pouring coffee and heating milk all at the same time.

You tell me the world has gotten so rude and you can’t account for it; as you cut off the guy before you to make it to work just five minutes late instead of six after forgetting to thank the young lady that held the door open for you as you hustled into and out of the coffee shop thinking that you could get a drink that takes two minutes to make in thirty seconds if only no one was in line before you and they had everything out and ready. They should have known you were coming.

You tell me your plight while standing in line at the grocery store, being sure to inform me that things have gotten so expensive that not a soul in the world could keep up with the rising prices while you buy the most expensive brand of everything. While I stand behind you with a cart just as full of groceries knowing I'll pay one hundred dollars less because my shampoo doesn’t give you an orgasm and my water comes from a tap.

You tell me the world is ending because of fuel consumption, our economy will fail because of the cost and the US is sure to choke on it's oil addiction as you pull up next to me in your high performance eight cylinder Benz complaining about your wife's SUV. I smile as I drive off in my sedan that gets twice the gas mileage with fuel thirty cents less a gallon.

The day is too wet, too hot, too cold, too dry, too sunny and too gray for you.

The lakes are down or the water table is too high and threatening to flood the basement; besides the water is too polluted.

You tell me that college is too expensive to keep the American dream alive. While your children take out loans to pay for the same thing your Father worked so hard in order to give you.

You tell me houses are too expensive, retirement is too far off with the cost of living and social security won't exist as you drive off in a forty thousand dollar car to your Sycamore Hills bungalow with two thousand square feet worth one point five million. While I drive home in a thousand dollar car to a two thousand square foot house worth about a tenth as much.

You tell me the roads are hell, but you can't stand construction.

You tell me that being from a small town means I am less intelligent, less developed and less refined. While I, being from a small town, wouldn't sit at a table with you and your children if my life depended on it because of your manners, mind and chosen topics.

You tell me that marriage cannot survive in our society because of constant temptation and the stress of running a family. That marriage is an outdated institution and that humans were just not meant for it. While I smile knowing that you're simply compensating for the seven year itch you just scratched or are planning to in the near future.

You tell me the government is corrupt, politicians lie and that our society is doomed. While I smile and wonder what has changed in five thousand years.
You tell me your difficulties are greater than any, and never felt by any before you. That the world is a mess and can never be fixed. That the world should give up and share in your grief. I listened to my Grand-parents about the Depression, my Father about WWII and my Mother about making ends meet in a one income home, all the while knowing that we are the fortunate and the world is ours for the making and the taking as long as we fight for it.

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone of you for giving it the old college try in killing the world's collective spirits and dragging down everyone's mood around you. You truly are a wonder to breathe with your head that far up your a$$ and standing in such a large puddle of tears.

End of my rant. Thanks for reading.

Retire

2012-01-25T01:46:00.000-08:00

It’s probably bad for me. I should stop all this blogging stuff, and settle down to a nice, safe retirement. I must stop taking risks and getting impassioned about things in case I look ridiculous. I must not spend money in the hopes of making money. I must accept that as a woman past 65, I am - well - wrinkly and nearly dead.

Oh, must I? And who said? I resent the suggestion that I am intent on getting old disgracefully. I was never physically graceful in the first place, having been, all my life, at best a big tall woman. And why is it disgraceful to want to continue living as I always have? Does some kind of switch go off when you hit 60 that causes all the interesting urges you have to become somehow embarrassing?

I must stress, this is not about my family and friends. They are wonderful. They know and accept me as I am, encourage me to enjoy myself - even aid and abet me in doing dangerous things!

People in stores are inclined to call me ‘mam’ or ‘hun’ and speak to me in a somewhat odd tone. Someone even said, ‘Bless’ about something I said recently. They were not aware of how close they were to a white trash fit. I was so angry I couldn’t move for fear of getting arrested for assault.

Then there is the media version of how older people should be perceived. We are a drag on resources, not producing anything to go into the economic pot, and are costing more and more each year as the percentage of retirees in the population at large grows. Little attention is paid to how many grandparents are doing the main caring, and contributing financially to the education of their grandchildren while their adult children work all hours to develop and succeed in their chosen careers. Small mention is made of the number of retirees who are the main care givers for their own, very aged, parents and family, or even their partner. And it is seldom mentioned in the media that the major charities are practically dependant upon the services of post-retirement volunteers, who run charity shops, raise sponsorship and generally spend a lot of their time supporting them.

My generation, the post war babies did not fight in the war . But we did work for many years, paying all the time in one way nor another towards our pension. And now we are reaping the reward - the anger of the media and the resentment of those who are just entering employment with the knowledge that they will have to save for their own retirement. It isn’t as though my generation didn’t save. I never felt that owning stuff was my right! I’m not complaining that people have too much - I think it’s great. But a lot of how it is now, with everyone having more things than I could ever have believed possible, is because my generation worked like mad to make it happen.

So I’m not subsiding into silence in my little home. . I’m not repentant, nor embarrassed about being retired and enjoying myself. The future is such an exciting place, and for a lot more years yet I’m going to live in it.

7

2012-01-24T03:12:00.000-08:00

Seven things I cannot do:
1. Lose weight
2. Not be obsessive
3. Learn not to fret about things that I cannot change
4. Find my book on Historic Homes of Huntington county - there's the obsessive part of me rearing it's ugly head
5. Speak Spanish
6. Deal with stupid people
7. Deal with selfishness

Cabin Fever

2012-01-23T02:24:00.000-08:00

Well, like the song says, the weather outside is frightful. This winter has been so nice up to this point and now it is somewhat unpredictable. January is a strange weather month. We can have warm, then rain, then a sudden snow storm all with in a few hours of each other. With all this weather cabin fever can become a problem for some folks. It comes from being cooped up inside too long. The weather gets a little cold and we have the tendency to hold up inside. We become more sedentary. Which leads to us becoming irritable, more stressed and even sad and depressed. Even though we know spring is on the way, we have to deal with winter first. There are several ways to deal with cabin fever. You can go outside. Visit the mall. Turn off the news, stop being bombarded with constant negative news. Act happy till you actually feel happy. Don’t sit around doing nothing. Do something creative. I have started a pretty big project. I have 5 gorgeous grandchildren. I am making each one a crocheted baby blanket. One for each of their first born children. I have written a letter to include and will be putting these away for them. So even if I am not physically here I will be with them in spirit to share in their happiness.

Coma

2012-01-21T06:01:00.000-08:00

Do you ever think about what it would be like to have lived 100-150 years ago and then gone into a coma where you don't age at all and then wake up tomorrow. How mind-blowing would all the "advancements" be? Women wearing pants and working, all kids going to school (many starting before they are even out of diapers), cars, technology, indoor plumbing, television, people talking on these little gadgets and listening to music, wow has the music changed! Sorry. I kind went off on a rant there, didn't I? Anything you want to add?

5 On Friday

2012-01-20T02:42:00.000-08:00

1. Stop swearing in the car.

2. Stop shouting at other drivers.

3. Say something nice to at least one person per day, and actually mean it.

4. Stop worrying about stuff like the state of the house/bedrooms/garden/yard.

5. Chill out and stop stressing about points 1-4.

Oh Paula

2012-01-19T02:49:00.000-08:00

Well once again society is rewarding bad behavior.. The Queen of butter has announced she has Type 2 Diabetes. And she has allegedly signed a deal with a diabetes drug company.

Chef Anthony Bourdain has openly criticized her, and is catching all sorts of h e double hockey sticks for it. Paula said he should “get a life”

Oh and she has had this for the last 3 years, and she has been working with the drug company all "hush hush" like, so she could come out as a Diabetic, who pushes their meds. Is it called having an ulterior motive?

I thought Diabetes was about carbohydrates, not fat or even calories..... I could eat 5 sticks of deep fried butter and it would barely affect my blood sugar. I am not saying her recipes can't be re worked to lower the fat/calorie content.

Yep, you can practically cut the tension between Paula and Anthony with a butter knife.

Its all in the wiring

2012-01-18T01:36:00.000-08:00

Today I talked to an old friend. I have not seen her in years. I got a Christmas letter from her and when I sent out my cards I simply wrote, I will call you some time and we can catch up. Well today was sometime.

She answered and I identified my self and said.. “How are you?” and for the next 30 or so minutes she told me. In.Great.Detail.for.30.minutes. OMG. I know what pills she takes, what time she takes them, what she takes them with, where she buys them, how much her co pay is, and on and on and on. I don’t mean to sound mean but when I said catch up I meant on each others lives, not aches and pains. You know, where are your kids, how many grandkids etc. That sort of catching up. It’s not that I don’t care, but it is just not the way I am wired.

Logic

2012-01-17T02:19:00.000-08:00

A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6."

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"

He replied, "They had eggs."

(I'm sure you're going back to read it again!)

5 regrets

2012-01-16T01:46:00.000-08:00

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Spin

2012-01-14T11:15:00.000-08:00

So gas prices are on the rise again. They were holding pretty steady at just over $3/gallon in these parts. $3/gallon--can you believe that? I remember when I was first driving, prices were under a $1/gallon. I'm absolutely certain that I've paid less than a dollar per gallon for gas since I've been driving. I can remember filling up circa 1960+ for $.299/gal. That wasn't that long ago--not long enough to justify a $3+ dollar increase. But I digress. So, as I was saying, gas prices are on the rise again--bitch, bitch, moan, moan, grumble, grumble. Who the hell wants to pay over $3.60/gallon for gas?!? Then comes the announcement: gas prices expected to reach $5/gallon in the next few months, and, OMGosh, we're so lucky to only be paying $3.60 now! See, it's all about the spin.

5 on Friday…

2012-01-13T01:59:00.000-08:00

1. What is your biggest time waster?

I would say television, I have a TV on 24/7. Yes I got in the very bad habit of watching TV in bed, and I like the fact that it covers up all the night time noises that would scare me, so I just leave it on.

2. What is your best use of time?

I am not very good at scheduling my time. I have learned though that since my COPD, I require much more time to do even the simplest things and that I have to prepare and plan ahead if I intend on going out and about.

3. What is your most challenging thing to do?

Without a doubt, climbing the stairs, those 13 steps get me every time. I go about half way and then sit and rest and catch my breath. This COPD sometimes kicks my butt and not in a good way.

4. What is your greatest accomplishment?

This is a hard question for me, I am so proud of my boys and what they have done with their lives, but that is their accomplishment and not mine. I guess I would say that just to have survived what I have been through is my greatest accomplishment.

5. What was your worst failure?

My two marriages. Since I am the common denominator I accept that the failure was mine. I also know that it was a matter of my survival to get out. Yes and I still feel I failed.

I am an appaholic

2012-01-12T02:00:00.000-08:00

Ever since I got my Kindle Fire for Christmas I have become an appaholic. I have an app to listen to the radio, to check the weather, including forecasts and local color radar, check my email, even an app to track domestic and foreign flights. I would never consider paying extra to have a smart phone but I sure do love this little gadget. Besides my personal computer, this is the greatest piece of technology to touch my life, it keeps me updated and engaged. An App, which is short for application, is a program that operates inside my fire device. I can visit and update my blog, check my Facebook via an app, even send a tweet by tapping another app on this handy dandy app filled e-reader of mine. It is amazing how many apps are out there for everything. Every day Amazon offers a different app at no charge. They also offer tons of free apps. I am off now to play Angry Birds, such a frustrating game..

Stuff I remember that makes me old:

2012-01-11T02:34:00.000-08:00

Poodle Skirts
Howdy Doody
Indian test pattern on TV
Pearl Drops Tooth Polish
Wrestling’s Gorgeous George
Eastern Airlines
Nylon Stockings
Texaco Gas Stations
Braniff Airlines
Smothers Brothers
Black Jack Chewing Gum
Frank Sinatra

6 Truths

2012-01-10T02:32:00.000-08:00

1. You cannot stick your tongue out and look up at the ceiling at the same time, a physical impossibility.

2. All idiots, after reading #1, will try it.

3. And discover #1 is a lie.

4. You are smiling now because you are an idiot.

5. You soon will tell this to another idiot.

6. There is still a stupid smile on your face ...

I sincerely apologize about this but I'm an idiot and I needed company.

THANK YOU

Monday with Morgan and Aggie

2012-01-09T02:24:00.000-08:00

5 on Friday

2012-01-06T02:25:00.000-08:00

1. Do you anticipate 2012 being a better year for you?

I do not think it will necessarily be better, because the last year was very good to me, I think it will be as good as I make it.

2. What are you looking forward to in the New Year?

The thing I am looking forward to the most is a visit from my son. Over 7 years ago he moved to Queensland Australia. He plans on coming for a visit next month! I can’t wait!

3. What was the most challenging thing that you went thru last year?

I try to be a good person every day, and be mindful of what’s important in life. I joke that I only live in the moment anyway — I can hardly remember what happened yesterday, let alone last year!

4. What was the biggest thing that you learned last year?

That whatever it is I'm doing - however it is I decide to spend my time – it is the best that I can do. There is always another way or another road or another answer. But I cannot spend valuable life second guessing the decisions I've made. I must keep going and continue to learn to trust myself.

5. What brought you unexpected joy last year?

Wow, that is a hard one. I would have to say the success of my children and my grandchildren, it brings me such happiness to see them succeed. I am very proud of my family.

a few things

2012-01-05T02:44:00.000-08:00

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? UGHH turn out the light

2. How much cash do you have on you? Somewhere in the neighborhood of $4.

3. What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR? Floor.

4. Favorite planet? Earth

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone? Cindy

6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone? My text tone is Angry Birds and my ring tone is Theme from Benny Hill.

7. What shirt are you wearing? Uh don’t actually have a shirt on.

8. Do you label yourself? Sure. Sometimes the labels are not very nice.

9. Name the brand of the shoes you’re currently wearing? Shoes? At home? Nope!

10. Bright or Dark Room? dim

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you? No idea.

12. What does your watch look like? never wear one.

13. What were you doing at midnight last night? Sleeping.

14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say? It was from Katie and she told me they were going out for sushi.

15. Where is your nearest 7-11? I have not seen one in years!

16. What’s a word that you say a lot? Damn.

17. Who told you he/she loved you last? Katie.

18. Last furry thing you touched? Aggie Morgan’s dog.

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days? Just Caffeine and my medical inhalers.

20. How many rolls of film do you need developed? Digital camera here!

21. Favorite age you have been so far? I like each year better than the last.

22. Your worst enemy? Myself

23. What is your current desktop picture? A picture I took a few Christmases back.

24. What was the last thing you said to someone? Good bye.

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be? I will take the money thank you.

26. Do you like someone? Yes I do I like almost everyone.

27. The last song you listened to? Darn if I know.

28. What time of day were you born? I’m not sure.

29. What’s your favorite number? 5.

30. Where did you live in 1997? I lived right here in paradise, and have for over 30 years.

31. Are you jealous of anyone? At times yes, but currently I cannot think of a soul.

32. Is anyone jealous of you? I doubt it.

33. Where were you when 9/11 happened? I was here at home and was glued to the tv for days. The saddest and scariest day ever.

34. What do you do when vending machines steal your money? Go to the front counter and get my money back.

35. Do you consider yourself kind? I think so.

36. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be? I do have a tattoo, I got it when I got divorced, it is 3 hot air balloons on my right shoulder, hehe shoulders don’t sag with age. Each balloon represents one of my boys.

37. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be? Spanish.

38. Would you move for the person you loved? No

39. Are you touchy feely? Not a lot.

40. What’s your life motto? Live and forgive then forget.

41. Name three things that you have on you at all times? My cell, and, well, my oxygen,and my rescue inhaler.

42. What’s your favorite town/city? This one.

43. What was the last thing you paid for with cash? A bottle of water

44. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it? Last year.

45. Can you change the oil on a car? No why would I want to do that when I have a grandson who does it for me.

46. Your first love: what is the last thing you heard about him/her? nothing

47. How far back do you know about your ancestry? great grands.

48. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy? Define fancy. mink coat lacy dress? If so then like Never.

49.Does anything hurt on your body right now? Nope I am very lucky to not have aches and pains.

50. Have you been burned by love? Oh yeah

Crappy Times

2012-01-04T00:23:00.000-08:00

Let me say right away that I am thankful for my family and friends. I am also thankful that I enjoy hundreds of freedoms daily that others in this old world only dream about. Just so that you know I feel very blessed.

I recently read a post about being thankful for the people who help you through the rough times in life. I sort of made me stop and think about my crappy times. As much as I would like to hit the delete key and erase them out of my memory I can’t. But in some weird way I am thankful for them.

My rough times have shown me what I am made of and who I can count on. It has allowed me to gain empathy for others in that same situation. I think my crap time has contributed as much or maybe more than the good times I have had. At my ripe old age I have had a fair share of crappiness. That experience has taught me that I will get through it eventually, even though I know things will suck for a while. That is just the way it has to be. So here is to the crap in my life and to the good, as that old song says “ You can’t have one with out the other.”

Crone

2012-01-03T02:08:00.000-08:00

crone (plural crones)

(obsolete) An old woman
an ugly evil-looking or frightening old woman; a hag

I’ll be having a birthday soon and decided to write down a few things I have learned.

I see women my age and older out and about, that look like they have had one procedure too many. I don’t love my sagging face and dark under eye circles any more than anyone else, but it is who I am and I have earned my wrinkles and my grey hair. I would rather be an old crone that look fake with big lips and no expression.

I have been young. Now it is someone else’s turn. I learned early how to take turns and to share. So take your turn.

I am learning to love this time of life. You know my life, my rules. I don't feel the need to spend time with unpleasant, negative or gossipy people. I don't feel the need to attend meetings, events or gatherings which I know in advance will prove unpleasant. I don't feel the need to wear clothing I find uncomfortable, for any reason, ever. I have dessert for breakfast. There are definite advantages to having put in my time.

So go ahead call me a crone I am a crone. I am a proud and happy crone.

Alternative Affirmations for the New Year...

2012-01-02T03:21:00.000-08:00

1. As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I am in touch with my inner sociopath.

2. I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.

3. I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault.

4. In some cultures what I do would be considered normal.

5. My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of wisdom and judgment.

6. I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper, and complain.

7. When someone hurts me, I know that forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit, but not nearly as rewarding.

8. I am at one with my duality.

9. Blessed are the flexible, for they can tie themselves in knots.

10. I will strive to live each day as if it were my 50th birthday.

11. I honor and express all facets of my being, regardless of state and local laws.

12. Today I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than "I told you so!"

13. A scapegoat is almost as good as a solution.

14. Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day in my underwear. Instead, I will move my computer into the bedroom.

15. I will no longer waste my time reliving the past; I will spend it worrying about the future?

16. The complete lack of evidence is the surest proof that the conspiracy is working.

17. Before I criticize a man, I walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he's a mile away and barefoot.

(from an email)

Happy New Year

2012-01-01T03:08:00.000-08:00

My Grown up Wishes for the New Year.

1. I want to live life joyfully, health, both emotional and physical health and strength to persevere even when I feel like I'm hitting a wall.

2. I want peace, peace from my past.

3. I want to have whatever tools it takes to keep in touch with family and friends.

4. I want to have Plenty Of Dark Chocolate: Who am I kidding? I wish for this all the time.

5. I need a reason and a way to step away from the computer for more than an hour at a time, so I can actually accomplish something.

Wooo Hoooo I’m back

2011-12-31T00:41:00.000-08:00

Wow I really missed ya’ll. It is flat weird not having my lifeline working and not to mention my phone being out. The internet is such a part of my every day life, and I felt like I had lost a body part while it was down. Every morning I grab my coffee cup, have a chat with my friend in Jawja, and read all my favorite blogs. I also missed being able to run in set down and look up something quickly and easily. I mean this internet thing that old Al Gore invented is so useful and entertaining. I am back for now and I am praying everything is ok and I don’t have any more outages. So far so good.. I sure have a lot of catching up to do.

5 on Friday:

2011-12-30T07:26:00.001-08:00

1. Do you think 2012 will be better for you or worse?

I am just thankful it will be, if you know what I mean.

2. This Christmas season did you anything to help others?

Yes I did but I would rather not share it on here.

3. What was your worst Christmas ever?

I have had some really bad Christmas’s but not anymore. My worst involved my ex, drinking and the river. Very bad.

4. Do you snoop at Christmas?

Nope, I love a surprise.

5. Are you a big party person on New Years Eve?

Who me? I am an in bed early sort of person, after all the amateur drinkers are all out on that night.

(my internet and home phone was down for 3 days)

Thoughts for today

2011-12-28T03:46:00.000-08:00

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay 'them!'

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle.' An idle mind is the devil's workshop.' And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9 Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county, to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

Day Off

2011-12-27T03:52:00.000-08:00

I'm taking the day off blogging to play with my Kindle Fire. Santa was very very good to me this year.

Christmas Is Over

2011-12-26T03:10:00.000-08:00

So, Christmas is over, and everyone goes back to hating one another, treating one another like dirt and generally crushing the spirits of any who happen to get into their way. Right?
No. Not really. Do you know what I honestly believe? I believe only a few people actually change over the Christmas Holiday. I think most of us act the same all year. It's just that few people pay attention until this time of year. The people who helped me did not do it because Christmas was coming. They did it because that is what they do. And they do it all year. The media likes to perpetuate the stereotype that people are only nice at Christmas - which means all the generosity and kindness is phony. I say that's the lie. The truth is, people who are nice are nice all year. Kind people are kind all year. Helpful people help all year. Giving people give all year. The list goes on. (It also includes the crap behaviors, such lying, cheating, stealing and what have you.) We don't change for a day and then change back. Not really.
But how was your Christmas? I hope it was at least as much as you desired. Since I cannot hear your answer now, I will tell you how my day went.
For me, Christmas began on Christmas Eve. I watch my all-time favorite Christmas Movie: A Christmas Story starring Darren Mcgavin. When it originally was released in theatres I did not go see it. It sounded dumb. Then, I caught it on television and fell in love with it. Then I did something which has become a tradition for two years now: I watched logs burn in a fireplace on television. The entire concept is stupid, and yet I watch with great fascination. It's about thirty minutes long, and Christmas music plays. I didn't stay up to midnight this year. I was crabby and I shut down early.
I got up early. The kids came by with Chinese food, we ate and then the packages were handed out, Everyone seemed happy with everything they got. We all watched A Christmas Story marathon on TV. After that the day was over, everyone left, and I shuffled off to bed.
I hope your day was good. I know not everyone had a good one, and if that includes you I am sorry. Maybe things will begin to improve for you now. I hope so.
Have a great day today! God bless you!

Merry Christmas

2011-12-24T03:05:00.000-08:00

5 on Friday

2011-12-23T01:24:00.000-08:00

1. What is your very favorite Christmas Movie? A Christmas Story. I love the people and the story, one of my favorite scenes is Ralphie in the bunny suit, and when he went blind from soap poisoning. Just a fun family show.

2. Do you serve any special food that you must have for Christmas? It would not be Christmas without my Daughter in laws Stuffed Mushrooms. This year we will NOT have our usual traditional dinner and they all will come to my house this year and we will have Chinese Take out.

3. Are you hard to buy for? Not at all although I would rather give than receive. Receiving makes me uncomfortable.. Yeah I know.. I hope to work thru it sooner rather than later.

4. What was your all time favorite Christmas Gift? Wow I have so many but I think I would have to say my Mother’s Ring and/or my Grandmothers necklace, or my pistol with the pink pearl handle.

5. Fill in the blank; I hope ____________ for Christmas. We have snow. I know sort of hokey but I do love a White Christmas.

Good/Bad

2011-12-22T03:42:00.000-08:00

When I was a little girl, and I might have done something "bad", my mother always used to tell me I was naughty. If I heard that word once, I heard it a million gazillion times. I think all children are born innocent and are not inherently naughty, but they do manage to get themselves into trouble by being overly curious, or perhaps imitating what other children are doing. Or perhaps they haven't been taught the difference between right and wrong yet. I don't think my mother meant any harm by saying what she did, but as a child, it was imbedded in my brain. The word "naughty" rang in my ears for many years, and I grew up thinking I was a bad person. I have always felt that I did not deserve all the good things that other people have, and I often describe the feeling as being "outside the candy store, looking inside at everyone else". Inside my heart, I know I am not a bad person, but perhaps rather to the contrary, I might actually be a good person.
I wish I could make me feel better about myself -- for a while, anyway. But it has always been a struggle for me, because I know I don't treat people badly, and in my heart I am not "naughty" and I always have good intentions.
Over the past few years, I have observed some behaviors by other people -- good people -- that have laid me flat with their selfishness and insensitivity. I know they meant no harm, but I have seen people do and say things that I would never do -- things that would be incomprehensible to me. It has made me realize as well, that we are all only human. Sometimes people's behaviors are based on lack of knowledge, or misinformation, or perhaps a misunderstanding of how other people will be affected.
I was having a conversation today with my friend about the theory of "six degrees of separation". It is an interesting theory, and it made me realize how closely we are all connected, and how much everyone's behavior can have repercussions on others. The smallest thing can have a huge effect, and I always try to consider how my behavior, my actions or my speech will affect the people around me. I'm not perfect, but I try very hard not to hurt other people. I think sometimes we have a tendency to be overly critical of ourselves, and maybe sometimes we can realize we're not so bad after all.

SPECIAL POEM FOR OLDER FOLKS

2011-12-21T03:14:00.000-08:00

A row of bottles on my shelf

Caused me to analyze myself.

One yellow pill I have to pop

Goes to my heart so it won't stop.

A little white one that I take

Goes to my hands so they don't shake.

The blue ones that I use a lot

Tell me I'm happy when I'm not.

The purple pill goes to my brain

And tells me that I have no pain.

The capsules tell me not to wheeze

Or cough or shake or even sneeze

The red ones, smallest ones of all

Go to my blood so I won't fall.

The orange one, very big and bright

Prevent my leg cramps in the night.

Such an array of brilliant pills
Helping to cure all kinds of ills.
But what I'd really like to know...
Is what tells each one where to go!

There's always a lot to be thankful for if
you take time to look for it.

For example I am sitting here thinking

how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt...

Important stuff I think about:

2011-12-20T01:56:00.000-08:00

Diamonds are a girl's best friend. And I always have room for more friends. Always.
This holiday season, in lieu of gifts, I've decided to give everyone my opinion.
It's beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.
All I want for Christmas is you. Just kidding! I want a garage.
I’m definitely older. Not sure about wiser.
I think the road to hell looks just like a Walmart parking lot.
Procrastination is exhausting.
I have heard that people who talk to themselves tend to be extremely smart. Did you know that? Yes, I did know that.
Never trust anyone who says, "I'm not supposed to tell anyone but...."
It's interesting that the first half of your life, people tell you what to do. For the second half, they tell you what you should have done.

Monday with Morgan

2011-12-19T01:36:00.000-08:00

Christmas LIght Show

2011-12-17T01:57:00.000-08:00

This is one of the most beautiful displays of lights I have seen. Just lovely.

Senior Citizen Flash Mob

2011-12-16T12:50:00.001-08:00

5 on Friday

2011-12-16T01:48:00.000-08:00

1. If you could change one thing in your past what would it be and why. I would not change a single thing, if I changed anything at all I would not be at this place and I am loving my life now.

2. IF you could do any profession in the world what would it be. I would be an advocate for battered women.

3. What special super power would you want if you could have one. The ability to lead by example? The ability to make money appear out of thin air? Not sure that would be a super power.

4. You just found $100 and can only spend it on something frivolous for yourself, what would it be? I would save it and put it toward a new Kindle fire or a new computer.

5. Name the last thing you've done that you knew was wrong, but did it anyway...Spoke unkind things about a friend. Yeah I know and I feel guilty very guilty..

I’m cranky today

2011-12-15T01:45:00.000-08:00

So today I'm just going to do a little review of some random things that annoy me:

-Kidnapping vans (vans with no windows other than the windshield and the driver and passenger door windows). I understand how these might be useful to some people--you know...those carrying crap that nobody really wants to look at, and those hauling a gaggle of Vietnamese slaves...but I hate driving behind them because I can't see anything.

-the dirtiness of my house, which I'm going to work on when I finish this post

-crappy weather

-fast food places that serve you cold fries--like, cold before they even put them in your bag, not like they got cold on your drive home.

-little yappy dogs

That's all for now. I'm trying not to dwell on the annoying.

If Some People Had Their Way...

2011-12-14T00:49:00.000-08:00

we would be sending the following Christmas/New Years greetings out:

A Politically Correct Holiday Greeting

Best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral, winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most joyous traditions of the religious persuasion of your particular choice, but with respect for the religious persuasion of others who choose to practice their own religion, as well as those who choose not to practice any religion at all. Additionally, a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the generally accepted calendar year 2012, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures, whose contributions have helped make our society great, without regard to race, creed, color, religion or sexual orientation.

(Disclaimer: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and no responsibility for any unintended emotional stress these greetings may bring to those not caught up in the holiday spirit.)

O screw it!...

From my house to yours..

Merry Christmas !!

Memories

2011-12-13T02:14:00.000-08:00

REMEMBER THIS AT CHRISTMAS TIME …

2011-12-12T01:54:00.000-08:00

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December.
Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.
Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.
We should've known…...
ONLY women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.

Reindeer

2011-12-10T06:45:00.000-08:00

If the reindeer were on face book it might look something like this.

5 on Friday

2011-12-09T01:47:00.000-08:00

1. Do you already have your Christmas tree up? If so when did you put it up? If not when will you put it up?

I am not putting one up this year.

2. Do you have any particular theme when it comes to decorating your tree? Maybe you do all Disney ornaments? Only blue lights?

I used to do a new theme every year. One year I used all Red lights, put a Santa face on the top, a black felt hand made belt around the middle, red felt mittens, one on each side and black boots under the tree. It was so cute.

3. What is your all time favorite ornament? Only one.

They are all favorites to me!!

4. How many stockings do you hang and are any of them for pets? And...where do you hang them? (Not everyone has a fireplace)

I no longer do this but used to hang them on the open stairway.

5. Tell us about one of your Christmas traditions.

Watch The Christmas Story marathon on TV. A group of us used to get together and bake tons of Christmas cookies. We had fun and had cookies to give to everyone.

Open Letter to Spammers.

2011-12-08T01:51:00.000-08:00

I'm currently working on technology that will intercept
spam, bounce it to the originating server, and electrocute the spammer using his keyboard and mouse. Until my work is finished, I have a couple simple requests.
Before I go any further, let me make one comment. A penis cannot be enlarged by three inches. Can't we make a more believable claim? Let's say a half inch, or an inch max. Thanks - a little reality goes a long way here.
Clearly, spam cannot be eliminated. (This is why I'm
working on my invention.) But there's clearly an unnecessary amount of redundancy in the e-mail.
I really feel that lot of the clutter could be eliminated
with some simple consolidation. Look at industry. As
start-ups become successful in their niche, they are bought by larger companies. These larger companies incorporate the technology and services into their product line. Everybody wins. The users can now get everything they need from one source, and sales and support are given by the same company.
I think that's an excellent model for the spam industry as well. Instead of the scores of spam that clutter my inbox each morning, I envision a single spam which reads something like this:
-----------
Refinance with us! We've been in the mortgage business for six months and guarantee you the lowest rates (unless someone else's are lower). Call our toll-free number and speak with one of our friendly, professional loan officers today.
When you refinance with us, you'll receive the following benefits:
* A year's supply of Viagra
* Penis growth kit/pill/device - grow your member an inch!
* Norton SystemWorks - includes AntiVirus!
But wait. That's not all. You also get a free pass to
porn sites! View all the hot XXX action you can stand.
Now how much would you pay?
----------
Now isn't that a better idea? You spammers don't have to send a different e-mail for every product, and we victims don't need to wade through all those useless e-mails. Once again, everybody wins. I'd put this into action right away. Because I'm *this* close to perfecting my Spammer Electrocution technology.
You may not have another chance.

(ironically this is from an email)

Pearl Harbor Day

2011-12-07T01:33:00.000-08:00

On Dec. 7, 1941, while negotiations were going on with Japanese representatives in Washington, Japanese carrier-based planes swept in without warning over Oahu and attacked (7:55 AM local time) the bulk of the U.S. Pacific fleet, moored in Pearl Harbor. Nineteen naval vessels, including eight battleships, were sunk or severely damaged; 188 U.S. aircraft were destroyed. Military casualties were 2,280 killed and 1,109 wounded; 68 civilians also died. On Dec. 8, the United States declared war on Japan.

Soon there will be no more survivors of the attack on Pearl Harbor. It is up to all of us to remember that day. We have to remember the horrors of war in hopes that someday the wars will be gone.

I wonder

2011-12-06T02:05:00.000-08:00

Do kids write thank you notes anymore or was there a law passed that outlaws them?

Why does only one side of my nose get stuffy and I have to turn on my other side to clear it and then the other..well you know what I’m talking about right?

What would Princess Diana look like today?

Does everyone wear clean underwear when they travel?

Bluetooth? why why why? I kept seeing all these people walking around with tagged ears, I though aliens had banded them, then I found out they are blue tooth devices.. again why why why?

If my gut tells me something isn’t right why don’t i listen?

Why do I flip my pillow over when I wake up in the middle of the night? Do you?

Why I ended up alone.

Is there anything you wonder about?

“Tis the Season

2011-12-05T01:59:00.000-08:00

The holidays are upon us--or perhaps I should say that we are currently knee deep in mistletoe, dreidels, and with all of the eggnog-inspired haze, it's probably a good time to remember the true reason for the season.
But don't expect me to define that reason here.
While some traditionalists (myself included) will most certainly point to the obvious--that this is the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ--mercantilism will undoubtedly pursue a more commercial vision. I won't bother venturing my own opinion, which is as valuable as the morals espoused in The Grinch Who Stole Christmas, Frosty The Snowman, and It's a Wonderful Life. I will, however, offer this one suggestion. During this season of commerce, worship, and celebration, one would be well served to at least take at least a little time to reflect on the dichotomy of the idea of the western Christmas season versus the spirit of the celebration of Christ's birth as taught in most other Christian traditions. And don't get me started on Black Friday, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and Boxing Day. Once they get their own stop-action animated holiday specials, they'll be eligible for consideration as legitimate.

Awkward

2011-12-03T01:18:00.000-08:00

This is a preview of a new series on TLC. Bottom of the Barrel? A new low? Or interesting topic? I know what I think. What do you think?

Five on Friday

2011-12-02T01:40:00.000-08:00

1. Where is the furthest you have traveled for Christmas and will you be traveling this year? I am a homebody for the holidays.

2. Do you celebrate any other holiday this month? Kwanza? Chanukah? Festivus? Does New Year's Eve count!?

3. Who is the hardest person to shop for on your Christmas list and why do you think they are so hard to buy for? I no longer shop I give money let them shop they know what they like and want.

4. How old were you when you stopped believing in Santa? Extra credit if you have a picture of you with Santa! Stop believing? Never. I will always believe in the magic!

5. Fill in the blank; For me Christmas just wouldn't be the same without _______? Family

Happy Birthday Joe

2011-12-01T01:44:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday to my favorite brother!

More annoying things

2011-11-30T00:49:00.000-08:00

1. When people don't RSVP to an event.
2. People who will write something borderline mean, but then follow it up with a smiley face :)
3. People who refer to themselves in the third person.
4. People who leave their children in their cars while they run into the store.
5. People who snap their gum.
6. Caps Lock in text or in email, when PEOPLE SHOUT.
7. Girls who wear way too much make up.

8. People who spell "you're" as "your."
9. People who don't cash checks you give them in a timely manner.

10. When you first meet someone and can't remember the person's name by the end of the conversation.

11. Guys who wear wifebeaters (and nothing else for a shirt) in public.

12. When the toilet paper roll is backwards.

13. When the cashier gives you the change with the coins on top of the bills and for a moment you look twist your arm around trying to get a large wad of cash into your car window with out dropping it. (McDonald’s are you listening?)

14. How commercials are so much louder than the TV shows.
15. People who don't want to learn anything new because they know it all.

LEG CRAMPS

2011-11-29T01:29:00.000-08:00

The worst way to be awakened is by the excruciating pain of a leg cramp. Actually, I suppose that the absolute worst way to be awakened is by someone yelling “Fire!” Yep, that would be worse than a cramp!!!Last night as I was laying in bed sound asleep I was suddenly awake at 2:00 by the worst leg cramp ever!!! To stop the cramp, I tried to flex my foot toward my knee, stretching the calf muscle, thereby stopping the cramp with very little soreness afterward at least for a moment. Then it was back again so I flexed my foot toward my knee again, nothing happened, the painful cramp continued. I increased the pressure to stretch the muscle. The excruciating pain in my calf moved to the front of my leg. I actually felt it move. The pain extended from just below my knee to the tips of my toes. My toes were bent backwards at an unnatural angle. When I tried to ease the pressure, I found my leg, ankle and toes were locked! Oh, the pain! As I lay in bed groaning and massaging my poor leg, a thought crossed my mind. “My gosh! What if my leg and foot remains locked in this position!!! I will have to buy elf shoes!!” Finally, after about 15 minutes of groaning and in pain, my leg relaxed, and I am now able to hobble around.

Pictures on Monday

2011-11-28T02:51:00.000-08:00

It seems my Christmas Cactus is mixed up. It is early by about a month. It is loaded with blooms and is a very pretty salmon pink color. And a picture of our girl Morgan, it was taken with my phone and is sorta fuzzy but she is still cute.

Gift Cards

2011-11-26T01:20:00.000-08:00

Walmart gift cards: when you want to show you care, but not enough to buy a real present.
Walmart gift cards: just as good as cash, but not.
Walmart gift cards: what better way to show someone you ~~love~~ ~~like~~ ~~think about~~ know they exist.
Walmart gift cards: when you don't know someone enough to get them a gift card for a store you know that they like, get them one for a store you know they'll end up in.
Walmart gift cards: it's like getting cash that can only be used in one place until it expires.
Walmart gift cards: because unlike real money, you'll keep forgetting this in a drawer when you go to the store.
Walmart gift cards: when only the best is too expensive.

My 3 favorite girls

2011-11-25T13:22:00.000-08:00

Morgan, Becca and Kate Thanksgiving Day.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATIE

2011-11-24T02:13:00.000-08:00

To my grown up Sweet baby girl Katie, it has been fun watching you grow into such a beautiful woman. I am so proud of you. ( You are my favorite shhhh don’t tell the others it is our secret. ) Happy 22nd birthday Katherine Elizabeth!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

2011-11-24T00:05:00.000-08:00

Kids say the darnest things

2011-11-23T03:24:00.000-08:00

I got this in an email today and I thought it was cute enough to share.

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
(written by kids)
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
-- Alan , age 10
No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
-- Kristen , age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
-- Camille , age 10

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, b ased on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
-- Derrick , age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
-- Lori , age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
-- Lynnette , age 8 (isn't she a treasure)
On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that Usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
-- Martin , age 10

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THATWAS TURNING SOUR?
I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
-- Craig , age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich.
-- Pam , age 7

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
- - Curt , age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
-- Howard , age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
-- Anita , age 9 (bless you child)

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
-- Kelvin, age 8 ( just LOVE this one)

And the #1 Favorite is........
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
-- Ricky , age 10

Things I thought about while my internet was down

2011-11-22T02:16:00.000-08:00

I don’t know what a ponzi scheme really is.
And along those lines, am I the only one who sees the sick irony in the name Madoff?
Every time I see a Smart Car, I smile.
It's never too late to get in the swing of things.
I don't sift flour. Ever. And I'm not sorry.
While we're at it, what is "figgie pudding" and do I really want someone to bring it to me?
I love the Christmas music on the radio.
What exactly is the swing of things?
I just noticed that my vitamins are for people over 50. But I'm going to keep taking them because my mother always told me I was advanced.

If everything has a purpose, then what purpose does dust have?
I don't like the word stimulus.
I wish the AARP would leave me alone.
I am going to try to spend less time on Facebook.

Guilty Pleasures

2011-11-21T02:03:00.000-08:00

My new favorite show is A & E’s Storage Wars. The concept of the show is that the person renting the storage locker fails to pay their fees and then the storage facility sells the locker to the highest bidder. Very dramatically they cut the padlock and open the door. The bidders then have 5 minutes, with out entering the locker, to look inside, and with out touching or opening anything they make the decision to bid or not bid.

This show follows four basic bidders, Dave Hester (Yuuuup), Darrel Sheets (wearing his usual wife beater), Jerrod Schultz ( and his cute wife Brandi ) and lastly my favorite Barry Weiss. Along with the auctioneer Dan Dotson and his wife Laura.

As crazy as it sounds, a San Jose man looked through the contents of a storage locker he bought from Dan and Laura Dotson, he was shocked to discover a chest filled with 1,700 gold doubloons valued at $500,000.

The unit's previous lessee was an elderly woman who passed away earlier this year. Payments lapsed after her death and the storage facility turned to the Dotson's company, American Auctioneers, to handle the sale of the items left inside.

The lucky treasure hunter has declined to identify himself publicly. "I called the buyer, and the buyer wanted nothing to do with [publicity]," Dan Dotson said. "I talked with the manager of the storage unit and asked, 'Can I mention you,' and he said no. So I would like to share, but it would absolutely cost me an account."

According to some reports the buyer got the unit for $1100. He also bought another unit owned by the same person for $600. So since he got both units I am thinking it was Dave. (I hope it was Barry.) Unfortunately, this one wasn't caught on tape. This show is on A & E on Tuesday nights. If you like Antiques Roadshow you just might get hooked on this show too.

Sunday Sugar with Morgan

2011-11-20T13:37:00.000-08:00

Cranky

2011-11-18T01:49:00.000-08:00

As a rule, I am not a cranky person, I don’t even like cranky people, but some rules are made to be broken and today I am cranky. I’m having one of those days where nothing is going right, and I’m sure you have them too.

My ‘cranks’ started when I got up Monday morning to no internet!

My internet has decided that it no longer wants to connect. It’s one of those dsl connections. Well it hasn’t worked since late Sunday night. It is something to do with what they call “an issue.” You would think that Frontier could fix the problem in a reasonable time. HA! Now I get a message that my computer and modem are not communicating! No kidding.

The service tech tells me I could try in order to resolve the problem; unplug USB from PC, unplug power cord from modem, unplug from power to the router, turn modem on, reboot PC, stand on one foot and whistle Dixie! And of course, it didn’t work! Today is Friday day 5 of no dsl connection. They promised to have it fixed on Wednesday, and then they said Thursday for sure. Now they said I am scheduled for Friday. I am here to tell you tomorrow it best be repaired or heads may roll.

Contributing to my irritable frame of mind is when I reached for something in the kitchen cupboard and noticed that the skin on my hand looks like crepe paper…what’s up with that?

Spending the past hour on the phone punching one for English, and two for non-existent customer service representatives, holding for eternity all while garbled music blasted my eardrums, certainly has not helped my mood.

I’m up to my ears in paperwork, computer woes and skin crinkling before my eyes!

Today I am cranky

Randomness

2011-11-17T01:04:00.000-08:00

You’d think Donald Trump could afford a better barber

Doddering and fool are in my thoughts a lot lately.

Hershey’s Dark Chocolate Kisses still do it for me.

I love being alone.

I don’t want to make any one jealous but I can still fit into the earrings I wore in high school.

Don’t hate me.

I have several friends and family members facing real health issues.

I also know quite a few people who have no real regard for their own health.

Lastly, my dsl internet connection has been down since late Sunday night. It is now Wednesday evening and I am on here using a dial up connection. It is frustrating but so far I have not really came unglued….. yet…after all, tomorrow is another day and I make no promises after 3 full days with no dsl.

Old Habits

2011-11-16T02:34:00.000-08:00

Old habits do die hard. By choice I am lazy. I hate cleaning. I enjoy sitting here in front of my computer.

I am going to add another habit to do. I am going to have my sink cleaned out every night before bed. I just don't understand HOW it can get so messy when I do not cook every day! I swear there are ghosts in this house.

My problem is, that I don’t see the mess until it becomes overwhelming. When that happens I do not want to touch it because it IS overwhelming. I wasn’t always this way. My room was clean when I was younger because I kept it that way. When I was married to my first husband I used to keep the house clean. That might be why I am the way I am now, or at least part of it. I HAD to iron the sheets on the bed, even t shirts and underwear had to be ironed! He would do a dust test. We lived in the country. There was dust! Glad I am not in that relationship anymore, in more ways than one.

I have to break old habits and create new ones for my sake. I clean but I just move it around. I have to clean it up for good not just move it to another room or another pile. I keep hauling stuff out and yet it does not get smaller. Paper is a biggie for me. I need to go straight to the paper shredder with the mail. I also need to keep vigilant on shredding all the piles of paper I have created. Ok so I will add 2 new habits.

New habits: write blog, clean sink out every night, shred mail daily.

It's getting closer

2011-11-14T03:36:00.000-08:00

The nights are definitely getting colder........more frost........a little lower temps for day time highs......and some snow falling from the sky........all signs that winter is getting a little closer.

11-11-11

2011-11-11T02:09:00.000-08:00

It’s Veteran’s Day and I wish to add my tribute to all who have fought for our country. These soldiers and sailors and marines and air force men and women have earned our respect and gratitude.

As I said before, I never repeat myself.

2011-11-10T01:16:00.000-08:00

People grow and change, over time they become different people. Some habits stay the same, some change. In older people this is most visible just after retirement. They don't know what to do with themselves, they lose their drive. Some lose their self-worth. If everything is wrapped up in a job for 40+ years and then it is gone, change is inevitable. Sudden change is even acceptable.

Accepting where I am right now.
Accepting to me used to mean - giving up, giving in, or saying, "What's the use?"
Accepting means to me today, I am happy and satisfied with what I am, what I have and living now in the present. What a change. A word that had such a negative connotation to being a word that is positive and fulfilling.
If I can accept - and not crave or desire for what ought to be, I am a much happier person. I don't compare, judge, evaluate, or wish for something different.

Mirror Mirror

2011-11-09T02:48:00.000-08:00

Mirror Mirror on the Wall
I guess I am my mother, after all!!!
I came to that realization last evening as I found my self storing things under the guest room bed!! In my defense, it was not yarn (yet), clothes, or shoes. Just some miscellaneous items

Things that make me happy:

2011-11-08T02:27:00.000-08:00

Sleeping in.
Making home made bread.
A great cup of coffee.
Reading a really good book.
Being smoke free.
Friends calling.
A clean house.
Fresh sheets.
New socks
That I am still alive, nothing is broken, and I am not in jail. :)

Trust

2011-11-07T02:23:00.000-08:00

Trust me.
Yeah, right. Whenever anyone says that to me I want run the other way. And I bet most of you do too. It is a fact of life that trust is something precious to all of us and affects us in almost all aspects of our lives.

Trust is a big topic because it is so universal. Whom do you trust? I trusted my husband implicitly and was betrayed.

We trust the dentist to make sure we are numb before he fixes our cavities, we trust the doctor to make a diagnosis to make us well. We trust that our food is safe, we trust the mechanic who works on our car.

We have to trust whether we want to or not. I can’t go thru my life worrying about getting screwed over all the time. It is also important that we are trust worthy. and that we teach our children the value and meaning of trust.

Sunday Sugar

2011-11-06T09:32:00.000-08:00

Christmas 2011 -- Birth of a New Tradition

2011-11-04T02:27:00.000-07:00

As the holidays approach, the giant Asian factories are kicking into high gear to provide Americans with monstrous piles of cheaply produced goods -- merchandise that has been produced at the expense of American labor. This year will be different. This year Americans will give the gift of genuine concern for other Americans. There is no longer an excuse that, at gift giving time, nothing can be found that is produced by American hands. Oh.... Yes there is!
It is time to think outside the box, people. Who says a gift needs to fit in a shirt box, wrapped in Chinese produced wrapping paper?
Everyone -- yes EVERYONE gets their hair cut. How about gift certificates from your local American hair salon or barber?
Gym membership? It's appropriate for all ages who are thinking about some health improvement.
Who wouldn't appreciate getting their car detailed? Small, American owned detail shops and car washes would love to sell you a gift certificate or a book of gift certificates.
Are you one of those extravagant givers who think nothing of plunking down the Benjamins on a Chinese-made flat-screen TV? Perhaps that grateful gift receiver would like his driveway sealed, or lawn mowed for the summer, or driveway plowed all winter, or games at the local golf course.
There are a gazillion owner-run restaurants -- all offering gift certificates. And, if your intended isn't the fancy eatery sort, what about a half dozen breakfasts at the local breakfast joint. Remember, folks this isn't about big National chains -- this is about supporting your home town Americans with their financial lives on the line to keep their doors open.
How many people couldn't use an oil change for their car, truck or motorcycle, done at a shop run by the American working guy?
Thinking about a heartfelt gift for mom? Mom would LOVE the services of a local cleaning lady for a day.
My computer could use a tune-up, and I KNOW I can find some young guy who is struggling to get his repair business up and running.
OK, you were looking for something more personal. Local crafts people spin their own wool and knit them into scarves. They make jewelry, and pottery and beautiful wooden boxes.
Plan your holiday outings at local, owner operated restaurants and leave your server a nice tip. And, how about going out to see a play or ballet at your hometown theatre.
Musicians need love too, so find a venue showcasing local bands.
Give the kids gift certificates to the movies, the local laser tag facility, the roller rink, fast food joints, THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX!
Honestly people, do you REALLY need to buy another ten thousand Chinese lights for the house? When you buy a five dollar string of light, about fifty cents stays in the community. If you have those kinds of bucks to burn, leave the mailman, trash guy or babysitter a nice BIG tip.
You see, Christmas is no longer about draining American pockets so that China can build another glittering city. Christmas is now about caring about US (We the People), encouraging American small businesses to keep plugging away to follow their dreams. And, when we care about other Americans, we care about our communities, and the benefits come back to us in ways we could not imagine.
Think like an AMERICAN,,,,or a CANADIAN,,,,or an AUSSIE this year! We're all in the same boat!

I think this makes so much sense. (from an email)

Kim

2011-11-03T01:48:00.000-07:00

The latest antics of the Kardashian clan is being passed off as “news” Well, once again, they are in the '”news.”

They are making headlines over Kim’s failed “marriage.” I say, anyone who thought this farce of a marriage between Kim and her latest boy toy would last forever, all I can say, either you are either a hopeless romantic or really stupid.

Exactly why is this “news?” I think the only remotely surprising thing about this is that it lasted a full 72 days.

Kim is being paid big bucks to make a spectacle of her self in public. According to some reports that this wedding costs around $20 million USD. Not one cent came from either them or their families. And indeed they may have even made a few bucks out of it for themselves. I guess it beats working at a real job since she has no real talent. She gets to travel, party, remove her clothes and money magically appears in her checking account.

My problem is the supposedly smart people who are making these decisions to pay for this insanity. Can any one explain to me how anyone can flush down $20 million USD for a fake wedding? How much money is wasted each year by our trash TV CEO’s on this garbage?

I know, I know, there are CEO’s out there drawing huge salaries while 9% of population is looking for work. But they are at least doing productive work for the money and that work benefits many many people. We are getting value for their salaries. From this trash TV family we are getting nothing.

Anyone agree with me?

My 1-Day Employment

2011-11-02T06:11:00.001-07:00

So after landing my new job as a Wal*Mart greeter, a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than one day.

About two hours into my first day on the job, A very loud, unattractive, mean acting woman walked into the store with here two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

I said pleasantly. “Good Morning and welcome to Wal*Mart. Nice children you have are they twins?”

The ugly woman stopped yelling at the children long enough to say “ Hell no, they ain’t twins. The oldest is 9, and the other one is 7. Why the hell would you think they are twins? Are you blind or stupid?”

So I replied, “ I’m neither blind nor stupid. Ma’am I just couldn’t believe someone slept with you twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal*Mart.”

My Supervisor said I probably wasn’t cut out for the is line of work.

(from an email) I love Maxine!

I wonder

2011-11-01T01:57:00.000-07:00

There are those great issues of global warming and poverty but then again I have questions on things that are simple...that are possibly easier to answer. Here are some of the things I wonder about....
1. When someone falls down, why do people ask, "Did you hurt yourself?" Of course, they hurt themselves. They FELL down!
2. In the phrase "To be or not to be, that is the question"....to be what? A frog? A cookie? A human being?
3. Why is a salt shaker called a shaker and not a sprinkler?
4. Who thought of the name, "hot dog"? It bears no resemblance to a dog.
5. Why do waiters and waitresses come to your table every 5 minutes to ask if everything is okay? I think it's a bit overkill if you ask me. If they are that curious, they may as well pull up a chair and join me. I'll give them the play by play detail.
6. Why do dogs lick themselves?
7. Why DO they call those hot wings, buffalo wings?
8. Why do the NFL players get paid so much money to throw a ball around?
9. When I was a kid, my mom used to warn me to stop being hardheaded. What exactly is the difference between a hard head and a soft head?
10. Why do people complain that sloppy joes are so messy?
11. Why does Walmart hire non-English speaking employees? If I get asked one more time if I speak English and where the sugar is, I'm going to ask to be put on their payroll.
12. Why do older people wear such loud smelling perfume?

You are too old to trick or treat when…..

2011-10-31T01:57:00.000-07:00

10. You keep knocking on your own door.

9. You remove your false teeth to change your appearance.

8. You ask for soft high fiber candy only.

7. When someone drops candy in your bag you lose your balance and fall over.

6. When people say “Great Mask” and you are not wearing one.

5. When the door opens and you yell “Trick or ???” and can’t remember the rest.

4. At the end of the evening you have a bag full of restraining orders.

3. You have to choose a costume that does not dislodge your hair piece.

2. You’re the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.

And the number one reason Seniors should not go out Trick or Treating

1. You keep having to go home to pee.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE

Corbin's team wins the Championship!!

2011-10-29T16:40:00.001-07:00

WAY to GO Chargers!

And his biggest little fan

At Corbins Football game

2011-10-29T01:22:00.000-07:00

Things to do when hard times hit.

2011-10-28T01:40:00.000-07:00

Keep your spirits up.
Things will change they always do.
Count your blessings.
Be gentle with your self.
Pray, meditate, relax.
Stay in touch with family and friends.
Make your needs known.
Ask for help.
Never ever give up.

Things that bother me today.

2011-10-27T01:21:00.000-07:00

Walking into a spider web.
People who don’t vote and then do nothing but complain about the results.
Drivers who don’t use their turn signals.
Web sites with horizontal scrolling.
Web sites with music, I leave immediately.
Telemarketers
People who let their dogs use my yard as their toilet.
People who can’t wait to file a lawsuit to get rich quick.
When you bite into a jelly bean and it's a different flavor than what you thought it was.
People who love to point out how wrong everyone else is while they are a walking train wreck
When someone blows their nose in your presence and then proceeds to look at what just filled their tissue/handkerchief.
Cashiers that want to bundle the receipt with my change. Hand me the money separately so I can put it in my pocket, and then hand me the receipt or place it in the bag.
People who give their kids weird names
People who have no idea what "personal space" is.
Speed bumps

A Great Campaign

2011-10-26T01:16:00.000-07:00

These are actual billboards in Detroit , Michigan put up by GM. They start off the Chrysler Freeway by the GMHQ - and branch out through Pontiac , Livonia and Plymouth ; west to Grand Rapids , and north as far as Sault Ste. Marie. This is without a doubt the greatest campaign in automotive history. Build American - Buy American!

Click on the pictures to see them full sized

I Blame It On Computers

2011-10-25T01:53:00.000-07:00

Do you remember Penmanship Class in school?
When the teachers would teach us cursive writing, how to combine the letters. I would practice for hours. Then later in Jr. High (yes, I had Jr. High, not middle school), we would all practice improving our cursive. Writing our names in flowery cursive.
I used to write letters. Use stationary, unlined stationary at that!!
Now, I can't even read my own handwriting. Besides signing my name to the occasional card, I can't remember the last time I wrote a letter. I mean, actually wrote a letter by hand, not typed on the computer or emailed.

Monday with Morgan

2011-10-24T01:48:00.000-07:00

Our cute little Colts fan

How many states have you visited?

2011-10-22T10:51:00.000-07:00

I never really looked at all the places that I have lived and/or visited. I knew I had been to a few different states and turns out I have visited more than I thought.
So how many states have you visited?

create your own personalized map of the USA

Step-grandparents

2011-10-21T01:01:00.000-07:00

Step-grandparents enter into a family in one of two ways. You marry someone older when you are older and you get a huge package which includes stepchildren and step-grandchildren. Or, your biological child marries someone who has children from a previous relationship and voila, you get step-grandchildren. Either way, I’ve talked with people in this situation and many times we are confused about their grandparent identity and/or their role. A lot of the time the responsibility falls on your shoulders to “keep a finger in the pie.” Let’s face it, you can still act like the typical grandparents—rile up the kids, have fun at their parents expense, and then send them home. What do your step-grandchildren call you? Is it OK to call you by your first name? If their other other biological grandparents are still around am I a Bonus or an odd extension to the family?

Designated

2011-10-20T01:28:00.000-07:00

This morning I was quietly drinking my first cup of coffee, when I heard the announcer on TV say something about a 9 year old driving a van. WTH? Well it seems a drunken man knew he was impaired and could not drive so at 3 am he put his 9 yr old daughter in a booster seat and let her drive. They went to a gas station and the camera showed the van pull in and park. Inside the dad was actually bragging about it. The video also shows the little girl getting in the drivers seat and pulling away. A man called 911 and when the police pulled her over the girl wanted to know why they were stopping he as she was driving “good”. The girl told officers her father had been drinking whiskey all night, took her out to drive, and then decided to stop at the station. The girl's parents are separated; she was with her father for the weekend. Shawn Weimer was charged with second-degree child abuse and fourth-degree child abuse, punishable by up to a year in jail. This happened in Michigan..

My question is…

Will a judge be impressed that he was not driving drunk and that he had the good sense to employ the use of a booster seat so that the child could see as she drove? Will he take into consideration that it was 3:00 am and traffic was light?

Cute Angry Bird

2011-10-19T01:34:00.000-07:00

Morgan Adele 16 months

List

2011-10-18T01:21:00.000-07:00

1. Plans and schedules drive me insane. I am a fly by the seat of my pants type person.

2. I'm happy when things are calm.

3. The last thing I drank was water. That is about all I drink, I hate to waste calories on liquids!

4. One of the most valuable things in my life is my family. Duh!

5. I like veggies on my pizza. The more the better!

6. Dear October, I love you - you remind me to focus on all the beauty of nature.

7. And as for my week, I am looking forward to veggie pizza and a movie

Dr Feelgood

2011-10-17T01:41:00.000-07:00

I have been watching bits and pieces of the trial of Conrad Murray. He is the doctor who worked for Michael Jackson and was being paid an insane amount of money. $150,000 per month. It has opened up the very strange world of Michael Jackson and his hangers on. I would not trust any of them as far as I could throw them. Dr Murray was an enabler just like the doctors that surrounded Elvis, and Dr Murray was willing to supply MJ with his drugs but never attempted to deal with his addictions. I wonder who made the decision for Dr Murray to become MJ’s personal physician.

Dr. Conrad Murray’s defense, his only real defense against the charge of involuntary manslaughter of Michael Jackson, is a simple one. He says that Jackson in effect killed himself. That he was so hopelessly drug addicted that he pumped himself up with the fatal drug or combination of drugs that killed him.

None of the witnesses so far have covered themselves in glory. But it is the defendant Conrad Murray who is the star of the show even though he hasn’t said a word. If you think Michael Jackson looked strange, then you need to watch Conrad Murray . His face is completely expressionless and the eyes show no sense of emotion.

The trial has not gone well for Conrad Murray. The prosecution is very efficient, while his defense team reminds me of The Keystone Cops, and seem completely out of their league. In my view, the prosecution team is making a very good case against Dr Murray and the details of the use of the drug Propofol are incredible, as the drug is normally only used as an anesthetic in surgical procedure, and must be closely monitored, not going off and calling one of your baby mama’s.

It is MHO* that the Doctor will be found guilty. But what about the addict? Do his actions enter into this? What do you think??

* my humble opinion

Things I learned on the internet today:

2011-10-14T01:52:00.000-07:00

1. October is Squirrel Awareness Month

2. Mr. Snuffleupagus's favorite foods are cabbage and spaghetti

3. A 50 foot long bridge was stolen in Pennsylvania

4.Ants never sleep in their whole life.

5. All of the clocks in the movie Pulp Fiction are stuck on 4:20.

6. Most of the dust underneath your bed is actually your own dead skin.

7. Bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers were all invented by women.

8. Your fingernails grow faster in winter.

9. In 21 U.S. states, WALMART is the single largest employer.

10. The 'L.L.' in L.L. Bean stands for 'Leon Leonwood'.

Everyone has value and something to offer

2011-10-13T01:53:00.000-07:00

I believe this is true. It took me a very long time to "get" that I too have something to offer. I can offer encouragement to others. I can offer an ear to listen, I am a very good listener. I can offer a shoulder to cry on. And a swift kick in the ass when needed. And there is real beauty in that, I may not think what I have to say is interesting to any one but I am sure there is someone somewhere that will be interested and if I can help just one person this blog has value. I offer to be a bad example, I will be the face of a smoker, I will stop and tell your kids why I have this tube in my nose, and I will patiently answer their questions. From time to time when I am out and about little kids will watch me and point. I smile and say hello and tell them it is from smoking. I see their eyes get big and I know it hits home with them. So you see even tho I am old and broken I can offer hope, hope that I can make a difference and that even if just one child remembers my face when he or she is tempted to smoke that first cigarette I have offered something of value.

(this is a repost of one of my first blog entries)

Autumn on the Wabash River Part II

2011-10-12T01:53:00.000-07:00

DEMENTIA QUIZ:

2011-10-11T01:59:00.000-07:00

FIRST QUESTION:
YOU ARE A PARTICIPANT IN A RACE. YOU OVERTAKE THE SECOND PERSON. WHAT POSITION ARE YOU IN?

~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~

ANSWER :

IF YOU ANSWERED THAT YOU ARE FIRST,
THEN YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY WRONG! IF YOU OVERTAKE THE SECOND PERSON AND YOU TAKE HIS PLACE, YOU ARE IN SECOND PLACE !
TRY TO DO BETTER NEXT TIME.
NOW ANSWER THE SECOND QUESTION,
BUT DON'T TAKE AS MUCH TIME AS
YOU TOOK FOR THE FIRST QUESTION, OK?

SECOND QUESTION:
IF YOU OVERTAKE THE LAST PERSON, THEN YOU ARE....?
(SCROLL DOWN)

~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~

ANSWER:

IF YOU ANSWERED THAT YOU ARE SECOND TO LAST, THEN YOU ARE.....
WRONG AGAIN. TELL ME SUNSHINE, HOW CAN YOU OVERTAKE THE LAST PERSON??

YOU'RE NOT VERY GOOD AT THIS, ARE YOU?

THIRD QUESTION:
VERY TRICKY ARITHMETIC! NOTE:
THIS MUST BE DONE IN YOUR HEAD ONLY.
DO NOT USE PAPER AND PENCIL OR A CALCULATOR. TRY IT.

TAKE 1000 AND ADD 40 TO IT. NOW ADD ANOTHER 1000 NOW ADD 30. ADD ANOTHER 1000. NOW ADD 20 . NOW ADD ANOTHER 1000.
NOW ADD 10. WHAT IS THE TOTAL ?

SCROLL DOWN FOR THE CORRECT ANSWER.....

~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~

DID YOU GET 5000?

THE CORRECT ANSWER IS ACTUALLY 4100...

IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE IT, CHECK IT WITH A CALCULATOR !
TODAY IS DEFINITELY NOT YOUR DAY, IS IT?

MAYBE YOU'LL GET THE LAST QUESTION RIGHT.... MAYBE...

FOURTH QUESTION :

MARY'S FATHER HAS FIVE DAUGHTERS:

1 NANA, 2. NENE, 3. NINI, 4. NONO, AND ???

WHAT IS THE NAME OF THE FIFTH DAUGHTER?

~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~

DID YOU ANSWER NUNU? NO! OF COURSE IT ISN'T. HER NAME IS MARY ! READ THE QUESTION AGAIN !

OKAY, NOW THE BONUS ROUND,
I.E., A FINAL CHANCE TO REDEEM YOURSELF :

A MUTE PERSON GOES INTO A SHOP AND WANTS TO BUY A TOOTHBRUSH.
BY IMITATING THE ACTION OF BRUSHING HIS TEETH HE SUCCESSFULLY EXPRESSES HIMSELF TO THE SHOPKEEPER AND THE PURCHASE IS DONE.
NEXT, A BLIND MAN COMES INTO THE SHOP WHO WANTS TO BUY A PAIR OF SUNGLASSES; HOW DOES HE INDICATE WHAT HE WANTS?

~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~

IT'S REALLY VERY SIMPLE. HE OPENS HIS MOUTH AND ASKS FOR IT....
DOES YOUR EMPLOYER ACTUALLY PAY YOU TO THINK??
IF SO DO NOT LET THEM SEE YOUR ANSWERS FOR THIS TEST!

(from an email)

Autumn on the Wabash River

2011-10-10T01:03:00.000-07:00

These pictures were taken on the east side of my house. There is 1 huge old maple trees and 3 that are probably around 40 or so years old. They have the most beautiful yellow gold leaves in the fall. If you look really close you can see the river in the distance, click on the picture to see them larger. I love my view!

I wonder

2011-10-08T00:54:00.000-07:00

1. Why do old men pull their pants all the way up to their waists?
2. Why do we close our eyes when we laugh or sneeze?
3. Why do people put stuffed animals on the dashboard or backseat of their cars?
4. Why do men’s and women’s shirts have buttons on the opposite sides?
5. Why are tampon commercials so dang cheerful?
6. Why didn’t anyone share some Trix cereal with the Silly Rabbit?
7. Are baby carrots cut from regular sized carrots and shaped or are they carrots that never grew up?
8. Why starve a fever and feed a cold?
9. Why am I not supposed to cry over spilled milk?

Germs

2011-10-07T01:13:00.000-07:00

Germs people, GERMS!! I need to address this again. Germs...they're not everywhere, they're every where!! I mean think about this...again! When you go somewhere and use your debit card and then they give you a receipt to sign with a pen...DON'T USE IT!!! The truth is it's really not a pen...it's a germ stick. You think it's okay to use, but you didn't see that the person who was inline in front of you was digging their nose or their ears or scratching dandruff with that same pen before you got it. Don't believe me?? Look at the pen next time they hand it to you. It's probably all brown and pasty looking by the part where you hold it to write. Sounds disgusting?? WELL IT IS!!! AHAHAHAHA...so don't use gas station pens, bank pens, or store pens. It really sucks when you go to a place like Target or Wal-Mart though, where they have those rubber pens that you absolutely must use to sign the electronic thing for your credit card. I despise using those! I tried to use my finger nail to sign one time....that didn't go over too well with the cashier. She thought I was germ phobic. If germ phobic means caring about not catching some virus from touching public writing utensils or pressing the numbers on the ATM machine...then bring on the title!! Oh and speaking of ATMS....Please, please, PUH-LEASE don't press those number buttons with your fingers! Have you ever bothered to look at the black gook that is around the numbers?? Its filthy! It's almost as if the germs taunt me when I go to the ATM...so you know what I do?? I press the buttons with my knuckles. As for public doors and those paper towel dispensers in the bathrooms, you're kind of in a Catch-22 with those things because if you use wash your hands, dry them, and then open the door, you have to wash your hands all over again!! Either way....please beware of the Germs....I don't want any of you catching the cooties! Yes, cooties do exist...just ask the gas station attendant who gave the germ stick to the hillbilly in the pickup truck who was digging his left ear with it! COOTIES!

I have questions.

2011-10-06T00:10:00.000-07:00

1. When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

2. If the 'black box' flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff?

3. Who copyrighted the copyright symbol?

4. Can you cry under water?

5. Why do people say, 'You've been working like a dog' when dogs just sit around all day?

6. Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed?

7. Do fish ever get thirsty?

8. Can you get cornered in a round room?

9. Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep?

10. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables then what is baby oil made from?

11. What should one call a male ladybird?

12. If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember that they forgot?

13. Can you blow a balloon up under water?

14. Why is it called a 'building' when it is already built?

15. If you were traveling at the speed of sound and you turned on your radio would you be able to hear it?

16. If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?

17. Why is it called a TV set when there’s only one?

18. Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can't go that fast on any road?

19. Why are ‘apart’ments stuck together?

20. Who teaches spiders which leg to put forward first, when they start walking?

21.Why is inspiration momentary, while depression is more permanent?

Out my back door

2011-10-05T00:51:00.000-07:00