Thursday Thoughts

1. I am the tallest female in my family and I'm 5'8".
2. I need to stop shouting and cussing at other drivers.
3. I need to say something nice to at least one person per day, and actually mean it.
4. I still don’t like my food to touch on my plate.
5. I think day old coffee tastes like the inside of a tanker truck.
6. I think there are some labels you really should read.
7. I don’t think there is ever a bad time to eat chocolate.
8. I am learning it is ok to not always have all the answers.
9. I think confidence makes everyone look better
10. I love lists.

Snow Day

These were taken out my back door a few minutes ago.. this is the Wabash River.Click on the photo for a larger view. It is so pretty.

Good Bye February

Out my back door today:

Taken out my back door today. This is only some of the geese.

This is the Wabash River. Isn’t it beautiful?

Why

Last night a friend ask me why I blog. It didn’t bother me so much, as it made me wonder why do I do this? I guess the answer is that there are times when there are things I want to do, say things I need to say, or express anger I am feeling. There are times when there is no one to talk to, no one who would understand, or maybe just that there is no one who really cares and sometimes there is just time when I don’t want to talk to anyone. For all those times I decided to blog, there have been times when I was unsure how I actually felt, times when I was fuming, and times when I did not know what I thought. It is an indirect way of releasing thoughts, fears and even anger. I could have turned to a bottle of scotch, or made an appointment with a shrink. Instead I do this, I have no great solutions, no great insights but it does not matter if it is useful or not, appreciated or not, enjoyed or not. It is just something I do for me

Favorite Things

1. deBrand dark chocolate
2. Pandora radio
3. Chap stick
4. Cupcakes
5. Lady Gray tea
6. Spring flowers
7. Rainbows
8. Clean Linens
9. My computer
10. My cell phone

What a difference a day and several inches of rain makes:

We had quite a rain last night. I am very lucky to live where I do, as we have flood protection. In the 60’s the Corps of Engineers created a system of dikes and a dam on the Wabash River, that saves this little town from future flooding and it created J. Edward Roush Lake. A 900 acre lake, J. Edward Roush Lake was formerly known as Huntington Lake. It lies in an area rich in Native American history. The lake was completed by the Corps of Engineers in 1968.

The little fisherboy is named John and was a gift from a friend. So far he hasn't caught any fish. Isn’t he cute?

50 questions

1. What is the color of your toothbrush? Blue

2. Name one person who made you smile today. Becca

3. What were you doing at 8 am this morning? Sleeping

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? Washing dishes

5. What is your favorite candy bar? anything dark chocolate

6. Have you ever been to a strip club? nope

7. What is the last thing you said aloud? Good bye to my mom on the phone

8. What is your favorite ice cream? Vanilla Bean

9. What was the last thing you had to drink? Coffee

10. Do you like your wallet? I LOVE IT! was a gift from Billie years ago I treasure it.

11. What was the last thing you ate? Cheese

12. Have you bought any new clothing items this week? No.

13. The last sporting event you watched? Nascar… go Mark Martin

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? Movie butter

15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to? Becca

16. Ever go camping? Yep

17. Do you take vitamins daily? No

18. Do you go to church every Sunday? No.

19. Do you have a tan? Nope.

20. Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza? Oh yeah.

21. Do you drink your soda with a straw? I do.

22. What did your last text message say? Becca and I made a date to go to Bummies

23. What are you doing tomorrow? Nothing different from what I'm doing today.

24. Favorite color? Pink

25. Look to your left; what do you see? A lot of house plants

26. What color is your watch? Don’t wear one 

27. What do you think of when you hear “Australia”? Greg

28. Would you strip for money? no 

29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? I prefer the drive thru.

30. What is your favorite number? 5

31. Who’s the last person you talked to on the phone? My mom.

32. Any plans today? Nothing special

33. In how many states have you lived? 1 state.

34. Biggest annoyance right now? I am not annoyed right now.

35. Last song listened to? Cee Lo Green Forget You

36. Can you say the alphabet backwards? Nope

37. Do you have a maid service clean your house? yes

38. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time? My Crocs

39. Are you jealous of anyone? No there are times when I am envious of certain people. I am quite content with my life.

40. Is anyone jealous of you? Again, I don't think so.

41. Do you love anyone? Of course

42. Do any of your friends have children? Yes.

43. What do you usually do during the day? What ever I want..:)

44. Do you hate anyone that you know right now? No. 'hate' is too strong a word. 

45. Do you use the word hello daily? Yes.

46. What color is your car? bronze

47. What size wedding ring do you wear? I am allergic to wedding rings.

48. Are you thinking about someone right now? No.

49. Have you ever been to Six Flags? No 

50. How did you get your worst scar? My scars don’t show.

Immortality

I turn 70 tomorrow...yup way over 1/2 a century old, way over 1/2 of 100 years old, 70...Seventy Years Old... This has gotten me to thinking about my life, what I have accomplished, where I am. I do have three children, 5 grandchildren, and a couple of ex-husbands. I think I have relatively good health, other than my COPD, or so the Dr. tells me. I do know that I am going to die though. At some time everything dies, plants, animals, people. Die, Death, Dead....those words mean so much more now. When you die, you are gone. You aren't here, you don't talk on the phone with your son, you don't attend a grandchild's school production. You aren't watching football or baseball or a Nascar race. You won't be going to any concerts...because you aren't here. You are Dead. Gone. How will I be remembered? Will I be remembered? Oh, I know my children will remember me...often at first, then as time goes on memories will fade. I will always be there as their mom. They will remember times and events, little things. But after they are gone, who will remember me?

P.S. I haven't received any bad news or anything like that...just turning 70.

My Back Yard

This is the Wabash River

Get Used To It

Getting used to it. That sounds hard doesn't it? And maybe a bit cynical "get used to it", but I have decided to use it as a more positive bit of personal philosophy. I seem to have adjusted to my new life style fairly well, I have tried to meet it with little resistance and have chosen to "get used to it" and be thankful for my half full glass. Every day I have a choice, I can have a good day or I can have a bad day. I try to chose the good day. That is not to say I am always successful. Always remember no matter how frustrated, tired or helpless you feel, it will be much easier if you can just get used to your new way of living your best life. It is a rainy day today here in paradise, so my elephant is back perched on my chest making each breath a chore, but I am "getting used to it."

Another Day.

4/8/09

Hi there I am a disabled senior citizen (where did the time go?) I have COPD. I live with it every day. With this blog I hope to give others a look at the daily challenges and obstacles I face as I try to lead a normal life. I am on 6 liters of oxygen. and am hooked to a concentrator. 24 hours a day 7 days a week. And I am thankful for it. If I want to go out, I must take a small o2 bottle and carry it with me. It lasts about an hour, and is very heavy. I live alone and can pretty much do anything I need done with a few exceptions. Obviously I can't cut the grass, but I do my own laundry, cooking etc. I do have a lady who cleans for me and my son is very good to help me with anything. I am not very active so I have gained weight. Also being sedentary I seem to have more than my share of bladder infections. All I try to handle with stoic good humor.

I am:

Listening: WOWO talk radio

Eating: cinnamon sugar toast

Drinking: Coffee

Wearing: my night gown and robe.

Feeling: overwhelmed at my To Do list

Weather: Winter like and snowing

Wanting: Motivation Energy Ability

Needing: Another cup of coffee to tackle said To Do list

Thinking: How much I really need to get done in the next few days

Enjoying: The peace and quiet that has become my life. The view out my back door of the Wabash River in winter. Watching the Canada geese swimming in circles.

Wondering: Why the coffee I make never tastes as good as Starbucks.

Judgmental

Oddly enough, people with good judgment are not usually considered judgmental. Judgmental is a negative word to describe someone who often rushes to judgment without reason.

The adjective judgmental describes someone who forms lots of opinions — usually harsh or critical ones — about lots of people. Judgmental types are not open-minded or easygoing. Judgmental has the word judge at its root, which itself is from the Latin word judicem, which also means "to judge." Judgemental (with an extra "e") is considered a legitimate variant spelling of judgmental

Why are people judgmental? Human nature cannot be denied. While good manners might prevent you from verbalizing your opinion, your mind instantly forms a judgment.
Everyone forms their judgments according to their life experiences. No matter how much you try, there are times you will make judgments. People like to think they are not “judging a book by its cover” but first impressions always bring about a judgment. You do it with out even knowing  you are doing it.  Children often mirror their parents opinions and judge accordingly. Some times if you over hear a conversation that has inaccurate information, you will judge the speaker as ignorant of the fact. I am judgmental of things no matter how hard I try to be fair. Some times it comes from being jealous. For instance a friend gets a new car. Or a new house.
The worst though are the ones who judge people who are less fortunate.  They assume they are all, lazy, welfare, illiterate, drug users, white trash, alcoholics, having illegitimate children to get more monies, laying around trying to beat the system.  I am sure there are those folks out there. In fact I know there are. But please don’t use that brush to paint everyone down on their luck as a loser. 

DeCrapify or DeClutter

Why do I want to declutter my home?
For Peace. For Peace of Mind. I'd like to declutter in order to enjoy a less stressful low maintenance home. In some rooms its obviously dangerous in there with the level of clutter that's present. My kids moved out but a lot of their stuff is still here.

What do I hope to accomplish?
I hope to be able to establish PEACE, SAFETY, ENJOYMENT,STRESS-FREE LIVING in the place I cherish the MOST.... HOME!

What am I willing to do?
I'm willing to say good-bye to things that don't really bring enjoyment to me. I'm willing to bless others by giving away items that are still useful; but I no longer need.

Why am I willing to do this now?
1~ My kids are grown and it is just me. I don't need all this stuff.
2~ I'm getting older and some things are harder for me to do. So now is the best time; while I still can do it.
3~ I don't want my kids to have to clean up my mess when I'm gone.

How will I know when I'm done?
1~ When the flat surfaces are clean, uncluttered, and dust-free.
2~ When I can see the baseboards in my home. (Especially in the bedrooms, living-room and not wall-to-wall furniture)
3~ When I can go to a cupboard,closet, dresser, file cabinet and get what I need without any problems.

When do I want to be done?
Being me I want it done yesterday.  I love how freeing it feels.

5 on Fridzy

1. What was the nicest thing anyone has ever said to you?

Hmm. That I'm a good person. I hadn't ever thought of adding "that" to my list of mad skills, but the first time someone said it  I was gob-smacked. (I watch BBC America) Still am, frankly.

2. What was the meanest thing anyone has ever said to you?

That "people like me are the cause of all the problems in the world." Said to me while I was getting out of my car after I had parked in a Handicapped Parking space. Yes, I'm handicapped.  But it hurts when people I don't know make assumptions. If only I was as healthy as you think I am, bee-yatch.

3. At times, lots of people never tell us what they are really thinking. Who is the one person that you would really like to know what they are thinking (as far as how they feel about you), and why?

There isn't anyone that I know who hasn't told me exactly where they stand with me. I'm pretty lucky there...at least I hope so. *strains of Billy Joel's "The Stranger" play ominously in the background*

4. What was the nicest thing you have ever said to anyone?

"I love you." That's about as nice as you can get, right?

5. What was the meanest thing you have ever said to anyone?

 Probably some of the stuff I said to my ex. I didn't mean to be cruel, but sometimes the truth can hurt. And it probably did.

Running low on tolerance

...I miss Johnny Carson.

I never knew what his politics were. He was just funny.

These so called "late night comedians" today...Jimmy Kimmel, Stephen Colbert...they're just nags shoving their Leftist politics down our throats. 

They're not funny. They're boring.

Maybe it's the long winter that is getting to me.  Maybe it's just me.  Are any of you feeling the same?  Please tell me that I have some company in my little cranky world.

5 on Friday

1. What song would you sing to your newborn child? (OR if you already had a child, which song did you sing to him/her?)
I sang "Hush Little Baby" and "Rock a bye" to my kids.
2. How do you think animals think? (i.e. in animal language, human language, etc.)
I think animals think in whatever their primary sense is. I think they think in terms of scent and sound rather than words or images.
3. As a child, did you have a dream to make a difference in the world? Can you describe your dream?
Can I not still have that sort of dream now? When I was a kid I didn't really care that much about the world. It was only once I got older that I did. Maybe a  better regard for all other living things.
4. Do you believe in God/a Higher Being
Anyone who can look at a sunset and think otherwise is crazy.  So Yes. 
5. Do you believe in aliens?
Meh...I think there might be other intelligent life forms out there. But aliens like you see in movies? No.

Worth????

If you can be a giver instead of a taker you will find much joy in your life. If you can find a way to love and serve others,that will be the greatest thing you will ever do and will bring you the most satisfaction. Having a servant's heart means thinking more about others than yourself. I hope my heart will become softer and I will become more in tune with the needs of others and have more compassion toward the hurt and pain of others in this world.
Our worth has absolutely nothing to do with what we possess or don't possess. Your worth and purpose in this life does not depend on who you are, on what you have done, or on what has been done to you. Your worth and purpose do not depend on where you have been. Your worth is what you have allowed yourself to become.

"Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are."
~ John Wooden ~

Stuff so much Stuff

Stuff.. lots of stuff. My house is bursting with stuff. My stuff, my kids stuff. Keep sakes and clutter. Our whole lives we spend acquiring stuff. Our success is measured in part by how much stuff we own. New stuff, antique stuff, good stuff and stuff to jog our memory. In all my years I have never seen a u-haul following a hearse. So what happens to all this stuff we leave behind? Most of my stuff is ordinary. Nothing remarkable or valuable. But almost everything I own contains a memory.

Before I get too excited, I should find out what the stuff is worth. Not how much an appraiser says it's worth - what someone will pay me. I will probably be surprised at what my "priceless" antiques are worth.

The ultimate decision of what to do with any of these belongings is mine.

I am seeing how much work and stress is involved in this cleaning out process and I would like to make my exit easier on the ones left behind.

What I am trying to say (and obviously not very well) I am NOT talking about getting rid of my stuff. I am talking about the burden of what we leave behind is for our children .. or family.. how hard it is for me to do the right thing.. what is the right thing? we spend our life gathering things and in the end it means nothing but work for those left behind.

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