My Pet Peeves for Today

1. When you genuinely ask someone what's wrong (when there obviously is something wrong) and they respond half-heartedly, "hmmm? oh nothing..."
2. The noise people make when they rub their fingers on balloons.
3. People who push alcohol at social functions.
4. When you open the DVD case and it is empty or a different movie is in it.
5. Explanations that begin with the word "Again".
6. Sick people who cough near you.
7. Having to use more than one remote control (one for TV, dvd player, cable box, TIVO, etc.)
8. People who say "It's always in the last place you look".
9. People who blow their horn at you the nano-second the light changes to green.
10. People sitting at a red light and continuing to sit there when the light turns green because they're on their cell phone.

Online Friends

I just want to say how very much I love my computer. Through it I have met some of the nicest people. Where else could I have met such awesome people? It is really nice that once in awhile in life we meet some really awesome people that make us just so happy that at that moment that we at the right place at that time and they crossed our path. And in the short time I've been blogging I've met a some really kind people and I just wanted to say it is nice to know that there are still some really good people in this world we live in. And I’m glad that we just happened to cross each others path.

Drivel

Why is it that we have to nail the coffin shut.....???

Am I the only one who doesn't understand all the stuff on the Healthcare Bill?

If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking

In order to hear from Heaven, one must first shut the Hell up

When prosperity comes, do not use all of it

The highest reward for a person's effort is not what they get from it, but what they become by it.

Life is not a dress rehearsal. Quit practicing what you’re going to do, and just do it.

We can not change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand

An opinion should be the result of thought, not a substitute for it

Where ever you go, no matter the weather, always bring your own sunshine.

$h*t my dad said:

1. Wish in one hand and $h*t in the other see which fills up first.

2. A skunk smells his own hole first.

3. Opinions are like a$$holes every one has one.

4. When I would say I’m tired or I’m hungry he would say Hi I’m dad nice to meet you.

5. If idiots could fly this place would be an airport.

6. If I complained I did not feel well, he would put his hand on my forehead and say I felt fine to him.

7. I would fall asleep with the radio playing. Dad would come in and yell that I wouldn’t be able sleep with all that noise.

8. The usual clean your plate there are starving children in China.

9. I’m not bossy I just know more.

10. Pull my finger.

There were many, many more that are just not suitable for a blog. What did your dad say?

10 Things I have Learned:

1. Pity parties end early when celebrated alone.
2. Not all doctors wash their hands before they eat.
3. First impressions aren't always right.
4. Ten almonds a day is supposed to improve my memory. I wonder if twenty a day makes me a genius?
5. The happiest people don’t necessarily have the best things. They simply appreciate the things they have. 6. I cannot drive and sneeze at the same time.
7. When the elderly say, "huh?" and put their hand to their ear, it's not because they can't hear you...it's because they are trying to start a conversation with you.
8. The older you are, the more stinky the perfume.
9. It's much easier to laugh than it is to cry. The only thing crying accomplishes is smeared makeup, red eyes, a runny nose and no Kleenex to be found!
10. Sometimes its worth being called the wrong name instead of correcting someone. Today I was called Naomi -- twice. Whoever Naomi is, I hope I do her name proud!

Retire where??

Here are a few choices:

You can retire to Phoenix , Arizona where...
1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
2. You've experienced condensation on your hiney from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.
6.. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!

OR
You can retire to California where...
1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house
2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought.

OR
You can retire to New York City where...
1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
3. You think Central Park is "nature."
4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
5. You've worn out a car horn. (ed. note if you have a car).
6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

OR
You can retire to Maine where...
1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.

OR
You can retire to the Deep South where...
1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2. "Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.
3. "He needed killin'" is a valid defense.
4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc.

5. Everything is either "in yonder," "over yonder" or "out yonder." It's important to know the difference, too.

OR
You can retire to Colorado where...
1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and so he stops at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

OR
You can retire to the Midwest where...
1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!"

OR
AND You can retire to Florida where.
1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people.
SO MANY CHOICES . . .

(thanks Joe for the email)