So lately I've been thinking about the past a lot. I think that happens when we move from one phase to the next. I'm definitely an empty nester. Kids all grown and gone for quite some time now. I've been feeling this unrest for a few years now and I know it has to do with stepping into the next chapter of my life.
I've been thinking of trying to map out my life. Not what's ahead - I've never been too good at planning ahead - but what came prior to this day. I'm very confused and unsure of why I made some of the decisions I did, or why I didn't make other decisions. I'd like to figure out just why I approached things the way that I did. Sure, I've had some counseling in my past, but to be honest, I never really got much out of it. Obviously I was missing something.
And although I know that the past is gone, done, and over, I would like to dissect it and see what I come up with. I don't plan on living in it, dwelling on it, or crying over it, but I do plan on trying to make sense of it. Wish me luck, I'll probably need it. Anyone got an old road map?
3 comments:
MSN:
The only ones I stil have are ones from the east coast (PA, NJ), Orange Cty, CA, San Diego, Fort Wayne, and a subway map of NYC...
And NONE of them have helped me with the same thing you're experiencing.
At least back in the day, the maps were FREE at any service station.
I think we're on the course we each chart for a REASON, and what that can ultimately BE, is something only God knows.
But I confess to my share of second-guessing myself, and perhaps if given another shot, try some things a bit differently.
Sometimes, no matter how we trim OUR sails, the wind and currents all take us someplace else.
If we manage to make sense of stuff, I think we're meant to know things in small increments, rather than all at once.
(dunno if I could handle THAT anyway)
Just my thoughts on it.
Stay strong.
Stay safe down there.
I am happy at where I am today. I only wonder if I could have made the journey happier and easier. I do like your explanation. Thanks for stopping today.
nkr
I feel that is a very brave thing to do. Whenever I go back I find I get so frustrated when I think of bad choices I might have made or even the hurt of thinking of people that are now gone. I admire your decision. Good luck in this quest!
Blessings, Joanne
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