What is happening to me?????

When I graduated from high school I wore a size 7 ½ or 8 shoe, depending on the style of the shoe. I kept those sizes for many years. Then somewhere along the way I went to a size 8 ½ . One would think that you would keep the same shoe size forever. HA. Not so. I just had to get another pair of shoes for all around wear and had to get a size NINE. 8 ½ was almost OK but the 9 felt better. Maybe I could understand it if I had a job where I was on my feet a lot (hairdresser or waitress) but believe me, I’m off my feet as much as possible. Maybe I could understand if I exercised by walking a lot. My form of exercise is walking from the kitchen to the bathroom. I once read SOMEWHERE…who knows where since I read so much….that there are two things on humans that continue to grow through-out our lives and its our noses and our ears. So what is with my feet? Maybe its just that, in my golden years, I’m more into comfort than style, but a size and a half? WHAT is the deal here? Are they making shoe sizes smaller now? Yeah, yeah, that must be it. Same way they are making clothes sizes smaller. It would be so great to pick up a size 12 again and have it fit but they’ve altered the measurements so drastically I’ve been forced to increase by several sizes. Yep, that’s just what happened. Sigh.

And that thought brings to mind my recent mind-altering experience which is not for the faint of heart. After my shower one day, I actually dared to look at myself in the FULL LENGTH mirror. After the initial shock wore off, I just stood there mesmerized. I was never a swimsuit queen for sure, but at least everything used to be in the right place. Gravity came to town and gravity won. Yep, there’s a new sheriff in these here parts and things are gonna stay changed. (spaghetti western music playing in background) My friend and I were talking one day about the perfect breasts. They said they had read someplace that the definition of a perfect size was if you could place a pencil under the breast and it would stay. I could place a Buick under mine, what does that define. And what’s the deal with all this extra ME under the arms; it actually…..sways! So much for bragging up exercise. With all the typing I’ve done in my lifetime I should have the firmest arms in the northern hemisphere.