I have COPD.. severe COPD.. 25% lung function.. and that was several years ago.. since it is a progressive disease my guess is now around 20% or less. Think about that.. It is extremely hard for me to do the simplest of tasks. Taking a bath is exhausting. Walking across the room is exhausting.. Take a second and imagine this .. yeah awful and don't I know it.
I work really hard at being upbeat and have a good attitude. I figure what the heck this is better than the alternative right? I don't complain and only those that know me understand how hard my life is.. and still I have no complaints.
I am for all practical purposes a shut in, I have not been out of this house since last August.. for real. And I can honestly say I am ok with it. I have wonderful family and friends who do so much for me.. from getting groceries to taking out my trash.. they are there for me.. I had to learn to ask for help.. (which I hate doing)
But please don't tell me I can do something that I can't .. it just is like rubbing salt on a wound.. it forces me to come face to face with the facts of my life. And it hurts. I cry and then I get over it till the next time. please stop..
Then in other unrelated news there is that damn Class Reunion coming up. They send letters, they call, they send another letter, they call again. The ones that I have never had a conversation with, who were the popular kids, yep them. (I was the mouse in the corner in school) I find this odd. Before graduation no one knew I existed and since no one knew, sooooooo Why do you suppose they are so keen on getting me to attend?
5 comments:
It is hard to ask for help. It means you admit to not having control. Thing is, none of us have as much control as we think- some like yourself have an unfair amount less. Bright side is, you DO have a good excuse not to go to your reunion! I was "recruited" exactly once, and the drunken fools doing the recruiting told me all I needed to know about how much (!) they had changed and how little I needed to see them.
YAMF......nuff said!
Snakefoot
MsN:
I wouldn't sweat the reunion gig...I'm staring at my FORTY-FIFTH, and I'm just not that interested.
I think sometimes it's a ploy to see how many of us are "left"...not the best way to reunite with people who (like you say) didn't know we existed back then.
As for the COPD...I think you're fortunate in some ways to NOT be able to go outside...it's not like it USED to be (except for the critters...they're cool).
This world is not the place WE remember with fondness.
Perhaps a sit out back once in a while...that'll work.
Still, with a good network of family and friends, that must make things so much better.
I know I'd love to have you for a neighbor...anytime, anyplace.
You stay strong & safe down there, dear.
Thanks for allowing me to vent.. I do pretty good most of the time .. but every once in a while there is something that just flat hurts.. I appreciate you all caring about me and my little dumb problems..
None of these problems are dumb. We love you.
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