I Resolve to NOT

Tomorrow it will be 2010.
A lot of people scramble to come up with resolutions that they hope to keep for the New Year.
For a twist, I’m going to write down resolutions that I know I will not keep.

I resolve to NOT try and lose weight. Let’s be honest here. I like to eat. I tend to gravitate towards the foods that aren’t healthy. If the pounds drop, that’s fantastic. If not, well, I can still fit into my pants so all is well.

I resolve to NOT stop cursing silently at the people who refuse to use their turn signals while driving. How hard is it to flick your wrist?

I resolve to NOT stop cursing silently at the people who talk on their cell phones while driving. Get a Bluetooth.

I resolve to NOT stop watching sugary chick flicks. I tried several times to broaden my horizon by trying to watch those movies with subtitles. Because apparently you’re a well rounded adult if you enjoy them or something. I don’t know. I do know that I fell asleep while watching several subtitled movies. I couldn’t follow the plot. I suppose this means I’m not well rounded. Oh well. Pass me The Notebook please.

To be continued.

Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them. - Lou Holtz

No Raise for Social Security

“If Social Security benefits don’t start catching up to the real rise in costs, we’re going to see a wave of seniors falling beneath the poverty line,” says Daniel O’Connell, chairman of the Senior Citizens League, an advocacy group. “It’s particularly outrageous that seniors may be forced to accept a zero raise next year, as our lawmakers have just accepted a $4,700 raise this year.” He said the cost-of-living adjustment (COLA) is based on the spending habits of young urban workers and the the costs for senior citizens MAY go up even during periods of deflation. Older people tend to pay heavily for medicine and other health related products.

I got my award letter from Social Security, and I will get no raise, nor will any other person who is on disability or retirement Social Security. I can’t believe it. They claim that it is because the cost of living has not gone up. (Please note: The Government is who figures out the COLA.) I will go along with this if no one in public office gets a raise. I get a set amount each month, my bills add up to just almost the exact amount and that does not include my medications, food, repairs or anything else. I ask you how can our country let this happen? How can our officials, who make well over $80,000 a year with some making $150,000 or more, vote themselves a raise? How on earth can they justify letting the people, who worked hard their whole life and paid into the SS fund, live in poverty? How about some bail out money for the people of this country who have worked hard, contributed, and even raised some of them? I am not asking for a hand out I am asking for some return on my contribution. I think I will forward a copy of this to my Congressmen and Representatives. And I will demand an explanation. If there answer is not satisfactory, assuming that they answer, then I will do the only thing I can do. Never vote for them again. I do not think it is the governments job to keep me from living in poverty, that is my own personal responsibility, I just want a fair return on all the money I was required to invest in Social Security over the last 50+ years.

email address of Congressmen and Senators

Maxine

See Maxine. Maxine doesn't like to exercise. I hope that's not a cigarette in her hand! Poor Maxine would have to change her whole lifestyle if she developed COPD. And you think she's cranky now!

Ripples

It’s weird sometimes when I feel I have so much to do and yet I do nothing. I just seem to have an inclination to go back in time. Not to re-live, but just to look back at who I was and how I was and how everything else was. It’s probably the best form of educating me about myself; the way I’ve grown to be person that I am now.
Today, as I stand on the threshold of yet another big step, I realize there are so many things that I could have done differently, tho not necessarily better. From betrayal and losing friends, to basically being lonely and living this whole thing called life the really hard way, indeed broke and wore me down. My bad health was taking a toll on me and it was probably the lowest ebb in my life. Nothing was going right. The only thing I had left was faith in myself. Nothing else existed.
Today, I’ll say I am much better. It could have been worse, maybe it could’ve better too. The silver lining is that I have some new friends who have really stood by me ever since. And, with age comes a certain wisdom of knowing that experiences make and mold you into a better person. I have seen low points, lower than some, and better than some.
But I’ve never regretted any bit of this. I have my detractors. I have my critics. My aim is not to silence them. because I also know I don’t need to do that nor do I need to prove them wrong. I know myself best. And when the need arises, and it usually does, I’ll be my own worst critic. No other critics needed, thanks. I have never turned in the face of a challenge. And I never will. Success does not always come to those with the most victories. Happiness does not always come to the most successful and it’s mostly all in the mind anyway. If you "believe", then anything is possible. When you’ve scraped the bottom of the ocean bed and come back to the top, battered but alive, you know you can. I can and life smells pretty sweet.

Are you older than dirt?

Where did headlight dimmer switches used to be located?

a. On the floor shift knob
b. On the floor, left of the clutch
c. Next to the horn

2. The bottle top of a Royal Crown Cola bottle has holes in it. For what was it used?

a. Capture lightning bugs.
b. To sprinkle clothes before ironing
c. Large salt shaker

3. Why was having milk delivered a problem in northern winters?

a. Cows got cold and wouldn't produce
b. Ice on highways forced delivery by dog sled
c. Milkmen left deliveries outside doors and milk would freeze, expanding and pushing up the cardboard bottle top.

4. What was the popular chewing gum named for a game of chance?

a. Blackjack
b. Gin
c. Craps

5. What method did women adapt to look as if they were wearing stockings when none was available due to rationing during W.W.II?

a. Suntan
b. Leg painting
c. Wearing slacks

6. What postwar car turned automotive design on its ear when you couldn't tell whether it was coming or going?

a. Studebaker
b. Nash Metro
c. Tucker

7. Which was a popular candy when you were a kid?

a. Strips of dried peanut butter
b. Chocolate-licorice bars
c. Wax coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water inside

8. How was Butch wax used?

a. To stiffen hair cut into a flattop so it stood up
b. To make floors shiny and prevent scuffing
c. On the wheels of roller skates to prevent rust

9. Before inline skates, how did you keep your roller skates attached to your shoes?

a. With clamps, tightened by a skate key
b. Woven straps that crossed the foot
c. Long pieces of string or twine

10. As a kid, what was considered the best way to reach a decision?

a. Consider all the facts
b. Ask Mom
c. Eeny-meeny-miney-mo

11. What was the worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex?

a. A cold
b. VD
c. Cooties

12. "I'll be down to get you in a ________, Honey?"

a. SUV
b. Taxi
c. Streetcar

13. What was the name of Caroline Kennedy's pet pony?

a. Old Blue
b. Paint
c. Macaroni

14. What was a Duck-and-Cover Drill?

a. Part of the game of hide and seek
b. What you did when your mom called you in to do chores
c. Hiding under your desk, covering your head with your arms in an A bomb drill

15. What was the name of the Indian Princess on the Howdy Doody show?

a. Princess Summerfallwinterspring
b. Princess Sacajewea
c. Princess Moonshadow

16. What did all really savvy students do when mimeographed tests were handed out in school?

a. Immediately sniffed the purple ink, as this was believed to get you "high"
b. Made paper airplanes to see who could sail theirs out the window
c. Wrote another pupils name on the top, to avoid failure

17. Why did your mom shop in stores that gave Green Stamps with purchases?

a. To keep you out of mischief licking the backs, which tasted like bubble gum
b. They could be put in special books and redeemed for various household items
c. They were given to the kids to be used as stick on tattoos

18. "Praise the Lord, and pass the _________?"

a. Meatballs
b. Dames
c. Ammunition

19. What was the name of the group who made the song "The Gypsy" a hit in the US?

a. The Ink Spots
b. The Supremes
c. The Esquires

20. Who left his heart in San Francisco?

a. Tony Bennett
b. Zavier Cugat
c. George Gershwin

scroll down for the answers.

ANSWERS

1. b) On the floor, left of the clutch. Hand controls, popular in Europe, took till the '60s to catch on.

2. b) To sprinkle clothes before ironing. Who had a steam iron?

3. c) Cold weather caused the milk to freeze and expand, popping the bottle top.

4. a) Blackjack Gum.

5. b) Special makeup was applied followed by drawing a seam down the back of the leg with eyebrow pencil.

6. a) 1946 Studebaker.

7. c) Wax coke bottles containing super-sweet colored water.

8. a) Wax for your flat top (butch) haircut.

9. a) With clamps, tightened by a skate key, which you wore on a shoestring around your neck.

10. c) Eeny-meeny-miney-mo.

11. c) Cooties.

12. b) Taxi. Better be ready by half-past eight!

13. c) Macaroni.

14. c) Hiding under your desk, covering your head with your arms in an A-bomb drill.

15. a) Princess Summerfallwinterspring. She was another puppet.

16. a) Immediately sniffed the purple ink to get "high."

17. b) Put in a special stamp book, they could be traded for household items at the Green Stamp store.

18. c) Ammunition, and we'll all be free.

19. a) The all male, all black group, The Inkspots.

20. a) Tony Bennett and he sounds just as good today.

SCORING

17 — 20 correct: You are not only older than dirt, but obviously gifted with mind bloat. Now if you could only find your glasses.
12 — 16 correct: Not quite dirt yet, but your mind is definitely muddy.
0 – 11 correct: You are a sad excuse of a geezer. Redeem yourself by declaring to everyone that the world is going to hell in a handbasket.





(this is a rerun)

Merry Christmas

I wish you a joyous, delightful Christmas holiday. Thank you for being part of my world and making my life a whole lot brighter.

Christmas Trivia

In 1836, Alabama is the first state in the USA to declare Christmas a legal holiday.

Mexicans call the poinsettia "Flower of the Holy Night" - the Holy Night is the Mexican way of saying
"Christmas Eve".

In ancient Scandinavia, mistletoe was associated with peace and friendship. That may account for the custom of "kissing beneath the mistletoe".

"White Christmas" (1954), starring Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye, was the first movie to be made in Vista Vision, a deep-focus process.

A Christmas club, a savings account in which a person deposits a fixed amount of money regularly to be used at Christmas for shopping, came about around 1905.

"The Nutcracker" is the name for the ballet performed around Christmas time each year. "The Nutcracker Suite" is the title of the music Tchaikovsky wrote.

"Wassail" comes from the Old Norse "ves heill"--to be of good health. This evolved into the tradition of visiting neighbors on Christmas Eve and drinking to their health.

Animal Crackers are not really crackers, but cookies that were imported to the United States from England in the late 1800s. Barnum's circus-like boxes were designed with a string handle so that they could be hung on a Christmas tree.

Electric Christmas tree lights were first used in 1895. The idea for using electric Christmas lights came from an American, Ralph E. Morris. The new lights proved safer than the traditional candles.

Births on 25 December:
W C Field (1946)
Alice Cooper (1945)
Princess Alexandra (1936)
Paul Borget (1935)
Charles Spencer Chaplin (1889)

Deaths on 25 December:
Conrad Hilton (1979)
Humphrey Bogart (1957)
Dorothy Wordsworth (1855)
Sir Isaac Newton (1727)

Did You Know Christmas Trivia

After "A Christmas Carol," Charles Dickens wrote several other Christmas stories, one each year, but none was as successful as the original.

Before settling on the name of Tiny Tim for his character in "A Christmas Carol," three other alliterative names were considered by Charles Dickens. They were Little Larry, Puny Pete, and Small Sam.

During the Christmas buying season, Visa cards alone are used an average of 5,340 times every minute in the United States.

Franklin Pierce was the first United States' president to decorate an official White House Christmas tree .

In 1907, Oklahoma became the last US state to declare Christmas a legal holiday.

In 1947, Toys for Tots started making the holidays a little happier for children by organizing its first Christmas toy drive for needy youngsters.

In 1996, Christmas caroling was banned at two major malls in Pensacola, Florida. Apparently, shoppers and merchants complained the carolers were too loud and took up too much space.

In an effort to solicit cash to pay for a charity Christmas dinner in 1891, a large crabpot was set down on a San Francisco street, becoming the first Salvation Army collection kettle.

It is estimated that 400,000 people become sick each year from eating tainted Christmas leftovers.

Right behind Christmas and Thanksgiving, Super Bowl Sunday ranks as the third-largest occasion for Americans to consume food, according to the National Football League.

Santa's Reindeers are Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen.

The best selling Christmas trees are Scotch pine, Douglas fir, Noble fir, Fraser fir, Virginia pine, Balsam fir and white pine.

The four ghosts in Charles Dickens's "A Christmas Carol" were the ghosts of Christmas Past, Christmas Present, Christmas Yet to Come, and the ghost of Jacob Marley.

The movie "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" (2000) features more than 52,000 Christmas lights, about 8,200 Christmas ornaments, and nearly 2,000 candy canes.

The poem commonly referred to as "The Night Before Christmas" was originally titled "A Visit From Saint Nicholas." This poem was written by Clement Moore for his children and some guests, one of whom anonymously sent the poem to a New York newspaper for publication.

Theodore Roosevelt, a staunch conservationist, banned Christmas trees in his home, even when he lived in the White House. His children, however, smuggled them into their bedrooms.

Yuletide-named towns in the United States include Santa Claus, located in Arizona and Indiana, Noel in Missouri, and Christmas in both Arizona and Florida.

How many of these do you remember?

Candy cigarettes.
Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water inside.
Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles.
Coffee shops with tableside jukeboxes.
Blackjack, Clove and Teaberry chewing gum.
Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers.
Newsreels before the movie.
P.F. Fliers.

Telephone numbers with a word prefix....(Raymond 4-601).
Party lines.

Peashooters.
Howdy Dowdy.
45 RPM records.
Green Stamps.
Hi-Fi's.

Metal ice cubes trays with levers.
Mimeograph paper.
Beanie and Cecil.
Roller-skate keys.
Cork pop guns.
Drive ins.
Studebakers.

Washtub wringers.
The Fuller Brush Man.
Reel-To-Reel tape recorders.
Tinkertoys.
Erector Sets.
The Fort Apache Play Set.
Lincoln Logs.
15 cent McDonald hamburgers.

5 cent packs of baseball cards - with that awful pink slab of bubble gum.
Penny candy.
35 cent a gallon gasoline.
Jiffy Pop popcorn.

Do you remember a time when...

Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-moe"? Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "Do Over!"? "Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest? Catching the fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening? It wasn't odd to have two or three "Best Friends"?

The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was "cooties"? Having a weapon in school meant being caught with a slingshot? A foot of snow was a dream come true?

Saturday morning cartoons weren't 30-minute commercials for action figures? "Oly-oly-oxen-free" made perfect sense? Spinning around, getting dizzy, and falling down was cause for giggles?

The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team?
War was a card game?
Baseball cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle? Taking drugs meant orange-flavored chewable aspirin? Water balloons were the ultimate weapon?

If you can remember most or all of these, then you have lived!!!!!!!

The Economy is so Bad:

The economy is so bad that I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
The economy is so bad I ordered a burger at McDonalds and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"
The economy is so bad that CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
The economy is so bad if the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
The economy is so bad Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.
The economy is so bad McDonalds is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
The economy is so bad parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.
The economy is so bad a truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
The economy is so bad Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.
The economy is so bad Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

(copied from an email)

4 Year Old Hood Rat

It seems a 4 year old boy named Hayden Wright busted out of his crib and went on a drunken, cross dressing crime spree in Chattanooga, Tn. Tuesday morning at 1:45 am. He got in his grandfathers cooler and got himself a beer, popped the top and busted into a neighbors house. Well actually Hayden got into the neighbor's house through an unlocked door and immediately noticed a bunch of presents under the Christmas tree. The presents must have called his name, because Hayden opened up five of them. One of the presents he opened up was a purdy brown dress, so Hayden slipped it on. After putting on the purdy dress he went to another neighbor’s house and rang the bell a few times. That neighbor call the police. The police found Hayden wandering the streets in the brown dress while drinking the beer. Hayden and his 21-year-old mother April were taken to the local hospital. April said that Hayden's father is in jail, so he might have been trying to get arrested so he could go be with him. Child Protective Services met with April yesterday and said they have no plans to take custody away from her. Is it just me or does this have Jon & Kate replacement written all over it?

Rattling around in my head today

1. We are all as happy as we choose to be.

2. How the hell are you suppose to fold a fitted sheet?

3. Nothing sucks more than that one moment during an argument that you realize you are wrong.

4. I am always slightly terrified when exiting Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes, when I know I did not make any.

5. I hate it when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!) but when I immediately call back it rings and rings and I get voicemail. What did you do run and hide from me?

6. I think part of a best friends job should be to immediately clear your history if you die AMEN!

7. Sometimes a chocolate Brownie can save the day.

8. We are all as happy as we want to be.

9. Have you ever noticed that the people who say they don’t “do” DRAMA are the ones with the most of it in their lives?

10. I think I miss Jon and Kate.

Holy $h*t, It’s Almost Christmas!

It’s not like it’s on a different date every year; but I get the distinct impression that Christmas is creeping up on me...
Yep! There it is, see that? Right there on the calendar between Thanksgiving at the end of November and the New Year’s hangover I have penciled in.
Then, my friends, comes Winter, Winter with a capital “W”. Nothing on the horizon but cold, snow, and cold in the snow.
Bearing that in mind, and realizing that there is a good chance that it is true that Christmas is on the 25th of December would anyone here have any objection to my moving it out to, say, February?
Because there’s nothing to look forward to in February.
We could also look at March.
Oh, sure. February has Valentine’s Day (AKA Singles Awareness Day/You Made Your Bed You Lie In It Day), and Presidents’ Day. True, you may get chocolate or flowers (or VD) on VD; and there is the excitement of 50% off on towels and sheets during The Presidents’ Day Sale-ebration (sorry everyone), but honestly, the next holiday after New Year’s Day in the U.S. is Memorial Day.
Memorial Day is in May – the end of May!!
How in the world do we do it, and why in the world are we doing it again? Beginning of January to end of May without a holiday in sight!
I’m getting dizzy just thinking about it.

Christmas With a Capital “C”

Redeux

Today I was thinking back to when I was first diagnosed. It was not a surprise to me as I had been having difficulty breathing for quite some time. I realized that I had an important choice to make. I could either fight the disease or learn to live with it. As I learned from my doctors that there was nothing that could be done to make my COPD disappear, I gradually came to the conclusion that I would simply have to learn to live with it. That is, my life would now be defined by this condition and it would continue to change as the disease changed. If you have COPD, you will understand what a difficult choice this was for me to make. I started on oxygen and was surprised at what a blessing that was. It made my life so much easier. Now my daily business is possible again,
although much slower and I can continue to live alone and care for myself and my needs. I have bigger challenges to face in the future, but for now I
am comfortable with my life as it is. I chose to live with it and embrace it as a life style. And not simply cope with it and feel it was something that was holding me back or was a hindrance to me in my daily life. If you have COPD you will understand what a big hard choice that was for me to make.

I had a surprise phone call from Steve, my ex oxygen delivery man. It was so nice to hear from him. He is now fighting his own battles. I know he can do it. He and his wife Andrea have been my friends for quite a few years now. He was one of my support people and I miss him coming every 2 weeks, his upbeat personality, his nice smile and how between the two of us we could solve all the world’s problems in just a few minutes.

Today is just another day, another good day. My breathing is much better today. The humidity has dropped and the rain is gone. The elephant is no longer sitting on my chest.

Definition for redux revived: brought back, especially in being restored to former importance or prominence

Am I wrong?

Am I wrong or Is it just me, do all the ads during the day assume you are either A. ninety years old, B. unemployed, or C. disabled?? There are more sue-everyone-for-anything-lawyer ads, weird-sort-of colleges, or medicine for everything -leaking -out -of -every -orifice you have ads on while I catch up on old Golden Girls or Friends reruns. What happened to all the Happy Housewives cleaning product ads?? Scrubbin Bubbles??

Am I wrong or Is it just me or...does Jon Gosselin get the Douche of the Year award? Or does Tiger get that now??

Am I wrong or Is it just me or....do most people find that they either pee a gazillion times per day or almost not at all? And just why does that happen??

Am I wrong, Is it just me or...does a couple nights without enough sleep make you start to feel sick? I'm not 93. I shouldn't need that much sleep. I'm like a washed up old hag. How am I supposed to hang with the young folk if I'm tired by 9 P.M.?? See? I said "young folk". I'm so old.

Am I wrong, Is it just me or...was this the lamest blog post in the history of blogging??

Things I don't care about:

• Tiger Woods' private life.
• What club Tiger's wife may or may not have used to beat the crap out of him.
• How much money tabloids pay people to dish dirt.
• Gloria Allred.
• The terms of the Woods' pre-nuptual agreement.
• How many women there actually are.
• Tiger Wood’s drinking habits
• Tiger Wood’s pill habits.

No matter what Tiger did and how many women he did it to, it is not NEWS as in capital letters kind of news. When NBC is using TMZ (a gossip show) as a source for stories, then it is gossip. There are more important things for us to focus on. The more the media plays into this glorification of celebrity and gossip - the stupider society is going to become. This really must change.

Dear Santa

You may not be a miracle worker but I do believe that you are a wish granter...so I have a couple wishes that I'd like granted.
1. I'm dreaming not of a white Christmas but of a green one...all I'm asking for is for it to rain money. That's right...money. It seems like that would be the tops on so many people's Christmas wish list. Even if it rains for only 5 minutes, that would be okay too, Santa.
2. Last but not least, Santa...I am asking for JOY. Not a little but a whole lot! I'm feeling a bit like the Grinch at the moment so I could use an extra dose.
Thanks Santa!
PS--Cookies will be waiting for you.

Okay, so I admit I've been a bit of a downer here the last few posts. So now it's time to think some positive festive thoughts

Cologne & Perfume Wearers

Your parents, legal guardians, or gym and health teachers should have explained this to you during puberty, but since they obviously didn't, consider this a public service announcement. Please, read and learn:
To put on cologne or perfume you spray ONCE into the air in front of you IN YOUR OWN HOME, not at work, not in the supermarket, not outside, and then you QUICKLY walk through the spray.
If you put cologne on with your hands or fingertips, you should WASH YOUR HANDS afterwards.
A scent should be SUBTLE, perhaps only detected by a lover who is interested in being very close to the backs of your ears and knees and the insides of your wrists.
I'd like to personally congratulate every dummy who is contributing to the massive cloud of bad cologne hanging over Fort Wayne. We didn't have enough pollution problems from traffic. Your desperate, need to be "cool" - by the standards of cologne advertisers, of course - has nauseated and triggered allergic reactions in the rest of your fellow citizens.
Yes, that's right: some people are allergic to cologne and perfume, even if it smells pretty. You don't have to see them gag, fall to the ground, and die in front you for them to be physically affected. But who cares if they can't breathe or swallow or get a rash or migraine after shaking your hand or having to sit next to you as long as you get to pretend you're hot, right?
Frankly, people would be better off smelling cigarette smoke or BO than inhaling your half-bottle of cologne every day.
THIS ISN'T ANCIENT EGYPT: IF YOU WANT TO SMELL NICE, TAKE A BATH or a shower! Get in the water and use the soap. Use deodorant afterwards. When you start to smell again, repeat. Do not drown yourself in cologne instead. There is no substitute for good hygiene.
If you must wear cologne, you might want to smell it before you decide to put it on SPARINGLY, IF you CAN smell anymore. Some of them stink. Despite what it says in the magazine, it actually does NOT smell good. Advertisers lie. If you put on stinking cologne, that means you stink, too. No one likes a stinky co-worker or date or clerk.
Stop wearing it to work. Stop wearing it to the gym. Stop wearing it at all and see your social life improve.
If everyone gets tears in their eyes when they see you coming, it's probably not because you are just so dear.

Rule of thumb: No one should smell you coming or after you leave.

THANK YOU.

My Favorite Christmas Movies

1. 1. 'A Christmas Story' (1983) The story of a young boy's epic quest to get his hands on a Red Ryder BB gun provides the hilarious backdrop for a timeless tale rife with family hijinks, frozen tongues and, of course, sex-oozing leg lamps.

   2. 'It's a Wonderful Life' (1946)
   A tale of depression and almost-suicide doesn't exactly scream "Christmas classic" -- which is probably why Frank Capra's flick flopped at the box office. But more than 60 years later, it endures as a beloved testament to everything Christmas stands for: family, friends and the joy of life.

   3. 'Miracle on 34th Street' (1947)
   If this '47 classic doesn't make you a Santa believer, nothing will. It's dark stuff for a Christmas flick -- Kris Kringle is put on trail to determine if he's legally insane -- but the endgame (in which the US Postal Service saves the day!) is utterly heartwarming.

2. 4. 'White Christmas' (1954)
   Aren't we all dreaming of a 'White Christmas'? The movie starring Bing "Mr. Christmas" Crosby and Danny Kaye is as charming as the tune, with all the elements to warm the heart: Two GIs come home from WWII, fall in love with singing-and-dancing sisters and help their general with his failing Vermont inn.

5. 'National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation' (1989)
Chevy Chase is at the top of his game in this sight- gag-and-one-liner-laden homage to the love/hate event that is the family Christmas. Where, besides this list, is there a place big enough for a movie with Yule laughs this huge? As Clark Griswold would say, "Bend over and I'll show you."

6. 'Home Alone' (1990)
It made Macaulay Culkin the biggest child star on the planet, reigned at the box office for 12 straight weeks and grossed $533 million worldwide, but the best thing about this holiday staple is watching an 8-year-old kid toss burglars Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern a good old-fashioned Christmas beat-down.

7. 'Love Actually' (2003)
Though some storylines work better than others even the grinchiest among us will find something to ♥ here. It's a valentine to love all wrapped up in a Christmas bow.

8. 'Bad Santa' (2003)
There are two types of movie fans: those who expect their Santa noble and god-fearing, and those who'll allow him the occasional slip into vulgarity, promiscuity and armed burglary. To the latter group, this black comedy's a classic. To the former, I’m sorry.

9.The Muppet Christmas Carol' (1992)
Michael Caine is miserly Ebenezer Scrooge and Kermit the Frog is kindly Bob Cratchit in the most sensational, inspirational, celebrational take on the Dickens tale ever to star 99 percent Muppets.

10. 'The Santa Clause' (1994)
Tim Allen is actually, uh, jolly in this fun family tale about a guy who accidentally kills Kris Kringle -- whoops! -- then has to take his job, unwillingly at first but then growing to love it.

IQ Test

Intelligence Test Instructions: Write each of your answers down, it makes a difference! You will be allowed 10 minutes to complete the test. Write your answers in the spaces provided. Are you ready ? What is the time?

Start.

1) Some months have 30 days,some months have 31 days. How many months have 28 days? ____________________

2) If a doctor gives you 3 pills and tells you to take one pill every half hour, how long would it be before all the pills had been taken? ____________________

3) I went to bed at eight o'clock in the evening and wound up my clock and set the alarm to sound at nine o'clock in the morning. How many hours sleep would I get before being awoken by the alarm? ____________________

4) Divide 30 by half and add ten. What do you get?____________________

5) A farmer had 17 sheep. All but 9 died. How many live sheep were left? ___________________

6) If you had only one match and entered a COLD and DARK room, where there was an oil heater, an oil lamp and a candle, which would you light first? ____________________

7) A man builds a house with four sides of rectangular construction, each side having a southern exposure. A big bear comes along. What color is the bear? ____________________

8) Take 2 apples from 3 apples. What do you have? ___________________

9) How many animals of each species did Moses take with him in the Ark? ____________________

10) If you drove a bus with 43 people on board from Chicago and stopped at Pittsburg to pick up 7 more people and drop off 5 passengers and at Cleveland to drop off 8 passengers and pick up 4 more and eventually arrive at Philadelphia 20 hours later, what's the name of the driver? ____________________

Answers below - no cheating now! GOOD LUCK!

____________________________________________________

Answers:
1) All of them. Every month has at least 28 days.
2) 1 hour. If you take a pill at 1 o'clock,then another at 1.30 and the last at 2 o'clock,they will be taken in 1 hour.
3) 1 hour. It is a wind up alarm clock which cannot discriminate between a.m. and p.m.
4) 70. Dividing by half is the same as multiplying by 2.
5) 9 live sheep.
6) The match.
7) White. If all walls face south, the house must be on the North Pole.
8) 2 apples. I HAVE 3 APPLES, YOU TAKE 2, WHAT DO YOU HAVE?
9) None. It was Noah, not Moses.
10) YOU are the driver.

Grading Scale (out of 10)

8+ Engineer
7 Student
6 High school pupil
5 Primary school pupil
4 Teacher
3 College lecturer
2 University lecturer
1 Member of Congress

Got this great test via email.

I got 9 correct.

I missed #4.

Remember Pearl Harbor

Dec. 7, 1941—at five minutes to eight o'clock, 183 Japanese warplanes ruined a perfectly fine Sunday morning on the island of Oahu in Hawaii. The first attack wave had reached the U.S. Pacific Fleet stationed at Oahu's Pearl Harbor and for all intents and purposes, World War II began for the United States.

Many people were just waking when the first bombs were dropped. No one was prepared to do battle.

Japanese aircraft had flown 230 miles from the north, originating from an attack force comprising six aircraft carriers and 423 planes.

The assault was the complete surprise.

The first wave of Japanese planes, made up of 51 Val dive bombers, 50 high level bombers, 43 Zero fighters and 40 Kate torpedo bombers, attacked when flight commander Mitsuo Fuchida gave the now infamous battle cry "Tora! Tora! Tora!" ("Tiger! Tiger! Tiger!") The second wave arrived shortly thereafter. Almost simultaneously, five Japanese "minisubs" began their attack from underwater, but were able to do little damage.

Less than two hours later, 2,280 American servicemen and 68 civilians were dead, 1,109 were wounded, eight battleships were damaged and five sunk. Three light cruisers, three destroyers, and three smaller boats were lost, along with 188 aircraft.

The biggest loss that day was the USS Arizona, on which 1,177 crewmen were killed when a 1,760 pound bomb smashed through her decks and ignited her forward ammo magazine causing a terrible explosion. Fewer than nine minutes later she was underwater.

Pearl Harbor was the principal but not sole target of the Japanese attack that day. Other military installations on Oahu were hit.

While the attack that day was a huge blow to the U.S. military presence in the Pacific, it was not a total victory for the Japanese.  The attack galvanized the nation's support for involvement in the war, ultimately contributing to the defeat of the Axis powers.

Today, 68 years later, more than 1.5 million people a year visit the memorial that floats over the sunken Arizona to pay respects to the loss of life that occurred on what President Franklin D. Roosevelt would call "a date which will live in infamy."

Let us honor those who fought and those who died, those who gave up much and those who sacrificed everything in defense of our freedoms and our nation. Let us remember those men and women who during a time of great adversity rose up and fought back even as over whelming odds were stacked against them.

Please take a moment of your day today to remember the people who gave their lives on this day  in 1941 defending our country. They truly were the ‘greatest generation’ and I feel that the message of Pearl Harbor is often overlooked these days.

Why is it that:

1. The older men get the higher they wear their pants?
2. Birthdays come around faster the older you get?
3. We are still fascinated by Jon and Kate?
4. People who blow their nose, analyze the content of their hanky?
5. Men’s and women’s shirts have buttons on the opposite sides?
6. Tampon commercials are so damn cheerful?
7. People take a bath in after shave or perfume?
8. Fritos smell so bad but taste so good?
9. Old people block the aisles in the supermarket?
10. Prizes in a box of Cracker Jacks are getting cheaper and cheaper?

Positive

We all have a lot to learn. Among all the people who have a lot to learn, I probably have more to learn, because I am a slow, stubborn learner, but I hope yesterdays entry conveyed the ability to find the positive within the negative of COPD.

There are certainly a lot of negatives out there, but by finding the positives, we can change our outlook on the world.

I could go on about this point for paragraphs. You know. You’ve seen me do it, but I want to keep this conclusion short and sweet.

Please find what you need in this world. Be it someone to talk to, medical intervention, or a warm puppy to cuddle. There are so many great possibilities out there for all of us, and I am glad I have found what works for me. That entry may have helped you, enraged you, or done nothing for you at all, but thank you for stopping by to read and comment. I feel we are in some small way more connected now, and even though I may not know you, I want you to feel safe, secure, and happy. Find this in whatever you choose to do.

You are okay. You will be okay.

What is COPD

It is chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, it is a progressive disease that makes it hard to breathe. Progressive means it gets worse over time.

COPD can cause coughing that produces large amounts of mucus, wheezing, shortness of breath, chest tightness, and other symptoms.

Cigarette smoking is the leading cause of COPD. Most people who have COPD smoke or used to smoke. Long-term exposure to other lung irritants, such as air pollution, chemical fumes, or dust, also may contribute to COPD. Mine is from smoking.

I guess to understand COPD, it helps to understand how the lungs work. The air that you breathe goes down your windpipe into tubes in your lungs called bronchial tubes, or airways. Your airways are shaped like an upside down tree with many branches. at the end of each branch is an air sac. The air sacs and the airways are elastic, meaning when you breathe in each sac fills with air, sort of like a balloon and when you breathe out, the sac deflates.

When you have COPD, less air flows in and out, because the airways and air sacs have lost their elasticity. The walls between the air sacs have been destroyed, or they have become thick and inflamed and have more mucus than usual which will clog the airways. The term COPD includes two main conditions, emphysema and chronic obstructive bronchitis.

In emphysema, the walls between many of the air sacs are damaged, causing them to lose their shape and become floppy. This damage also can destroy the walls of the air sacs, leading to fewer and larger air sacs instead of many tiny ones. In chronic obstructive bronchitis, the lining of the airways is constantly irritated and inflamed. This causes the lining to thicken. Lots of thick mucus forms in the airways, making it hard to breathe. Most people who have COPD have both emphysema and chronic obstructive bronchitis. Thus, the general term "COPD" is more accurate. COPD is a major cause of disability and it's the fourth leading cause of death in the United States. More than 12 million people are currently diagnosed with COPD. An additional 12 million likely have the disease and don't even know it. COPD develops slowly. Symptoms often worsen over time and can limit your ability to do routine activities. Severe COPD may prevent you from doing even basic activities like walking, cooking, or taking care of yourself. Most of the time, COPD is diagnosed in middle-aged or older people. The disease isn't passed from person to person—you can't catch it from someone else. COPD has no cure yet and doctors don't know how to reverse the damage to the airways and lungs. However, treatments and lifestyle changes can help you feel better, stay more active, and slow the progress of the disease.

Even though I may not look sick, I am. My COPD is mainly is characterized by extreme shortness of breath. This condition is very restrictive I avoid strong odors, smoke, flowers, perfumes, cleaning agents, paint, solvents, shaving lotion, scented candles, etc.

I also avoid crowds, dusty places, molds, and extremes in temperatures and windy conditions, because they leave me gasping for breath.

I have difficulty walking up stairs, I can’t walk far, I sure can’t be rushed and believe it or not it is hard for me to talk for any length of time. Oh, and restrictive clothing also makes breathing difficult for me.

I think I have adapted to my COPD emotionally very well. And I can actually do most of the things I need do with in reason. Right now I am avoiding public contact because of the H1N1 flu. I am hoping this blog can help other suffers of COPD as we cope with this disease day after day. I think it is helpful to know what to expect.

We all need some humor in our lives, especially those who are living with a chronic disease, they say humor is the best medicine !

Remember to take time to smile every day.

How to fail a test with dignity

Thanks Gary!

Tiger Woods

Everyone is all up in arms over Tiger Woods accident over the weekend. Silly me, I thought all you had to provide is drivers license and proof of insurance. Why is it that the police are wanting to interview Tiger and his wife? In the news today was a report that the FHP are trying to gain access to Tiger’s medical records to determine if the injuries were cause by the crash or by domestic abuse. Florida law allows the case to proceed without consent. When the officers arrived Tiger was on the ground unconscious and his wife was giving him aid. She told them she heard the crash ran out broke out the back window and drug him out and laid him down on the pavement. Who knows what really happened. But if he is indeed a victim of domestic abuse, as suspected, maybe something does need to be done. If he is not then leave them alone. Let them sort out their problems and let life go on.

Now, I know we all want to know what really happened in the case of the famous golfer. But if you're in the business of trying to keep Florida safe, what's the bigger priority -- getting to the bottom of the SUV vs.. fire hydrant case, or what happened to Caylee Anthony? And why do I suspect that in time we'll get to know all about the Tiger Woods case, while there might never be justice for little Caylee ?

What is it about human nature that we want to believe the very worst about a person? Why do we do that?

I HATE CANCER

I try really hard not to hate, I think hating is unhealthy and that hate in itself is like a cancer that left unchecked grows out of control and kills Joy. Kills Hope. But today I HATE cancer. The bad news is that the cancer rate will double in the next few decades. The good news is that many will survive cancer for years, decades, and sometimes even a lifetime after diagnosis. Five-year "cure" rates vary from 100% for prostate cancer to a scandalous 15% for lung cancer. But aside from the crucial issues of funding for cancer research, treatment, and prevention, it's time that we all acknowledge that cancer's here to stay and that whether we receive a diagnosis or not, we will certainly know and care for someone who has the disease. All I can do is strive to be more thoughtful, sensitive, and considerate. Listen more and talk less.

Below is a survivors story. He is a very courageous and brave man. He has made it his goal in life to educate people on the health hazards of smoking and if I do say so he is doing a great job on twitter.

HERE (in his own words) IS RANDY’S STORY:

A close friend of my wife's & mine ask me if I would write down a few thoughts on cancer. Since I am recovering from throat cancer, I have quite a few thoughts on it and they are mostly all bad.
When I started smoking cigarettes there was no evidence or proof that smoking causes cancer. Once that we found out that all the tobacco companies were not being honest about cigarettes being addictive and possible carcinogens, more testing started and more facts and information were released to the public. Bottom line is that smoking does cause cancer. I knew it but it was too late, I was hooked. I made the decision to quit 12-29-05. I won't say that it was easy quitting cigarettes but I had some insight into stopping addiction since I stopped drinking 13yrs prior to quitting smoking. I had been cigarette free for 2 and a half years when I was diagnosed with stage 3 squimous cell cancer of the throat. All 3 of my doctors, surgeon, oncologist and radiation said that my cancer was 100% caused by all of the years I had smoked. That's why I can say that it is never too soon to quit smoking but it can be too late. Cancer has been the scourge of both the past and present centuries. There were probably people getting sick and dying in the 1800s, but doctors had no idea what it was. Cancer also can run in a family. If there are members in your family that have or have had cancer, that increases your odds of getting some form of cancer. I myself had 2 strikes against me. I smoked and my mother and grandmother both died of cancer and my grandfather had prostate cancer.
There are hundreds of kinds of cancer, some of which have causes that are known but most, just happen. Myself and my partner manage a website for UAW retirees, bcbmonitor.com and in it there is a Medical section. In it we post articles about insurance and health. Our core belief in this section is that Health Care must start at home. This can be done through diet, exercise, regular maintenance and quitting smoking.
Some things that anybody who is diagnosed with cancer must do, is go into it with your eyes open, have and keep a positive attitude and put your life and trust into your doctors hands. It can be hard at times to keep a positive attitude but it is a must. Everybody told me that they couldn't believe the positive attitude I had going through all of my treatments. They would ask, how do you do it, and I would tell them that that was one thing I had control over. Through the surgery in which I was cut from just behind my right ear, down then over to just below my Adams Apple, 3 intensive chemo treatments that were three weeks apart and going to radiation therapy 37 times while doing chemo, it can be easy to get a poor me attitude but that does nothing good for you or your loved ones. When you go through it with a positive attitude, it helps you and gives family and friends more hope that you will recover.
I am 1 and a half years into my recovery and feel great. I will feel much better when I hit the 5 year benchmark and I have no doubt that I will make it. All of my follow ups with doctors have been nothing but positive and I know they will continue to be that way. I know that there are a lot worse kinds of cancer than I had but no matter what kind or how bad, keeping a positive attitude through it all can and does make a difference. A person has control over 2 things that can help get through or even prevent cancer. Keep a positive attitude and if you smoke, QUIT and if you don't smoke, don't start.

Things that Annoy me Today

1. Made up car names that are not even real words.

2. Double negatives.

3. Guys who leave the toilet seat up.

4. People who always need favors.

5. People who give their kids weird made up names.

6. People who go the wrong way in parking lots.

7. “Yes But” people

8. People reading over my shoulder.

9. People who let their dogs use my yard as their toilet.

10. People who over use quotes from movies.

Average

The average American woman is 5'4", weighs 140 lbs, and wears a size 14 dress.

One-third of all American women wear a size 16 or larger.

75% of American women are dissatisfied with their appearance.

50% of American women are on a diet at any one time.

Young girls are more afraid of becoming fat than they are of nuclear war, cancer, or losing their parents.

50% of 9-year-old girls and 80% of 10-year-old girls have already dieted.

The "ideal" woman--portrayed by models, Miss America, Barbie dolls, and screen actresses, is 5'7", weighs 100 lbs, and wears a size 8.

These statistics make me flat crazy, if our average size is 14 why are there not models in our size? Why are there not more actresses on TV our size? What? There are you say? Yep they are on there and are doing commercials to try Nutri System or Jenny Craig, I guess so they won’t be average any more. I wish that we could just live in a world where our size didn’t determine our worth. That you could just be you and not have to worry about if you are a size 2 or a size 22.

But honestly it's time that we start realizing that if the average size of a woman is 14 and up then we should all be very happy and we shouldn't all be worrying that we need to go on a diet, because hell we have set the mark, we are the AVERAGE size so we don’t have any thing to worry about!!! According to the statistics the average woman is only 5'4" and well I'm taller than that and I sure as hell am not going to try to find a way to shrink myself....so I'm learning and hope so many others learn that sometimes we shoot for unrealistic goals or sizes for ourselves, or we get influenced by what we see on TV or in magazines. Don’t get down on yourself because you’re not a size 2! Love who you are and be the best you, you can be, no matter what your size!

THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY AT THANKSGIVING:

"Just reach in and grab the giblets."
"Whew...that's one terrific spread!"
"I'm in the mood for thighs!"
"Tying the legs together will keep the inside moist."
"Talk about a HUGE breast!"
"And he forces his way into the end zone!"
"She's 5000 pounds fully inflated and it takes 15 men to hold her down."
"It's cool whip time!"
"If I don't unbutton my pants, I am going to burst!"
"It must be broken 'cause when I push on the tip, nothing squirts out."
I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
Are you ready for seconds yet?
Its a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
Just wait your turn, you'll get some!
Don't play with your meat.
Just spread the legs open & stuff it in.
Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
I didn't expect everyone to come at once!
You still have a little bit on your chin.
How long will it take after you stick it in?
You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!
That's the biggest one I've ever seen

Do You Remember?

The other day I was talking to some one about all the old TV shows. You know the ones, your kids could watch them with out you having to explain what the actors are doing on screen. When they really were entertainment and not a social statement.  Are you listening Adam Lambert? How many of these do you remember?

 

A team

Addams Family

Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet

Andy Williams Show

Ann Southern show

Arthur Godfrey’s Talent Scouts

Bachelor Father

Baretta

Ben Casey

Big Valley

Bonanza

Burkes Law

Car 54 Where are you?

Cisco Kid

Courtship of Eddies Father

Daktari

Dallas

Dark Shadows

December Bride

Donna Reed Show

Doogie Howser

Doris Day Show

You bet your life

Lone Ranger

You Ask for it.

Perry Mason

Flipper

The High Chaparral

Mannix

Barnaby Jones

Love American Style

Julia

Courtship of Eddie’s Father

Welcome Back Kotter

Room 222

Here Come the Brides

Dark Shadows

Lost in Space

Ben Casey

Family Affair

Favorite Sayings

Some of my Favorite Sayings

An opinion should be the result of thought, not a substitute for it.

Hate is easy. Love takes courage

You cannot unsay a cruel word.

Every path has a few puddles

We can not change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand

The best sermons are lived not preached

Silence is sometimes the best answer

If you find yourself in a hole the first thing you must so is Stop digging.

Monday Monday

1. I think there is great need for a sarcasm font.
2. I do not want to start my DVD collection again so I am ignoring Blue Ray
3. I have a couple numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer it when they call.
4. I try to keep my words soft and sweet just in case I have to eat them.
5. We could learn a lot from crayons...some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.
6. A smile can change a whole lot of things!
7. No matter how old my boys are, they will always be my babies.
8. There is no such thing as a bad time to eat a cupcake.
9. Sometimes it is better to just have no expectations.
10. Going grocery shopping without a list is never a good idea.

My Philosophy

1. DON'T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS AND DON'T PET THE SWEATY THINGS.

2. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR.

3. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.

4. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?

5. THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BADGIRLS LIVE.

6. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, "WHERE'S THE SELF- HELP SECTION?" SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.

7. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?

8. IF A DEAF CHILD SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?

9. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?

10. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?

11. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO "GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?"

12. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?

13. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?

14. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?

15. WHY DO THEY LOCK PETROL STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL CLEAN THEM?

16. IF A TURTLE DOESN’T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?

17. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?

18. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?

19. WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?

20. HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD SIGNS?

21. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?

22. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.

23. DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR ALGEBRA?

24. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?

25. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?

26. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?

27. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?

28. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD 'LISP' TO HAVE 'S' IN IT?

29. WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED "HEMORRHOIDS" INSTEAD OF "ASSTEROIDS"?

30. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?

31. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?

32. IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL PERSON IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES, DO THEY BECOME DISORIENTED?

33. CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?

I love these lists.

WTF

Things that made me go Huh??

Blood Bath?  Psycho Chic?

If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and sounds like a duck, it must be a lamp?

The perfect bathroom scales

A high End book shelf

Hmmm I have now seen it all a horny chair.

I would make a how big is your sausage chair joke but I like to think I am more mature than that.

A whole new meaning to flip on the light.

Words fail me.

Quick pass this house some Viagra.

If the house is rockin don’t come knockin

Feel Good

I have been thinking ways to avoid the over-commercialization of Christmas this year. Donating food is a GREAT way to make a difference in your community. I really like the idea of presenting a loved one with a card telling them that a family has had a warm meal "in your name”

Each community has a food bank and with the recession I am sure they would be delighted to get a nice donation from you.

So clean your cupboards, pick up an extra can and DONATE, they even accept money to purchase dairy and produce.

Wal mart is selling turkey for 40¢ a pound. Buy one and donate it to a soup kitchen.

Practice now, Thanksgiving is next week. So donate food, supplies or your time. You will feel good.

Seems like a no-brainer to me..

10 Facts about Cancer

1. There are more than 100 types of cancers; any part of the body can be affected.
2. In 2004, 7.4 million people died of cancer - 13% of all deaths worldwide.
3. More than 70% of all cancer deaths occur in low and middle income countries.
4. Worldwide, the 5 most common types of cancer that kill men are (in order of frequency): lung, stomach, liver, colorectal and oesophagus.
5. Worldwide, the 5 most common types of cancer that kill women are (in the order of frequency): breast, lung, stomach, colorectal and cervical.
6. Tobacco use is the single largest preventable cause of cancer in the world.
7. One fifth of all cancers worldwide are caused by a chronic infection, for example human papillomavirus (HPV) causes cervical cancer and hepatitis B virus (HBV) causes liver cancer.
8. A third of cancers could be cured if detected early and treated adequately.
9. All patients in need of pain relief could be helped if current knowledge about pain control and palliative care were applied.
10. More than 30% of cancer could be prevented, mainly by not using tobacco, having a healthy diet, being physically active and preventing infections that may cause cancer.

Tuesday Trivia

1. Eagles see better than humans on clear days, humans see better than eagles on foggy days.
2. The United States spends $79 million a day collecting "intelligence" around the world.
3. Your're born with 300 bones, but have only 206 as an adult. The others fuse together.
4. An average person gives off about as much heat in an hour as a 100~watt light bulb.
5. 63% of shopping~mall Santa's have a college degree...and 29% are fluent in sign language.
6. The average Japanese drinks 4.8 gallons of liquor a year, the average American drinks 1.3 gallons.
7. It took Einstein five weeks to write his Theory of Relativity.
8. The average American opens their fridge 22 times a day.
9. Emergency call: In the U.S. you dial 911; in Stockholm, Sweden, you dial 90000.
10. Three U.S. towns are named Santa Claus.
11. Reindeer are the only species of deer in which the female grows antlers.
12. A snowstorm becomes a blizzard when the temp drops below 2o°F and wind speed hits 35 mph.
    
    
    

Dress Code for over 50

Many of those over 50 are quite confused about how we should present

ourselves. We're unsure about the kind of image we are projecting

and whether or not we are correct as we try to conform to current

fashions.

If you are not in our 'group,' but you know someone who is -- please

share this:

Despite what you may have seen on the streets, or at the beach, the

following combinations DO NOT go together and should be avoided:

1. Wearing a nose ring and bifocals.

2. Spiked hair with bald spots.

3. Sporting a pierced tongue and wearing dentures.

4. Wearing a miniskirt and support hose.

5. Wearing an ankle bracelet and corn pads.

6. Wearing a Speedo when you have Cellulite

7. Wearing a belly button ring and showing a gall bladder surgery

scar above it.

8. Wearing unbuttoned Disco shirts and a heart monitor.

9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge.

10. Pierced nipples that hang below the waist.

11. Bikinis and liver spots.

12. Short shorts and varicose veins.

13. Inline skates and a walker.

And the ultimate Bad Taste in fashion for older folks. .

14. Wearing a thong over your Depends.