Thank you veterans.

Fish

A redneck with a bucket full of live fish, was approached recently by a game warden in Texas as he started to drive his boat away from a lake. The game warden asked the man, "May I see your fishing license please?" "Naw, sir," replied the redneck. "I don"t need none of them there papers. These here are my pet fish."
"Pet fish!?!?"
"Yep. Once a week, I bring these here fish o"mine down to the lake and let "em swim "round for a while. Then when I whistle, they swim right back into my net and I take "em home."
"What a line of baloney....you"re under arrest."
The redneck said, "It"s the truth, Mr. Gov"ment man. I"ll show ya!
We do this all the time!!"
"WE do, now, do WE?" smirked the warden. "PROVE it!"
The redneck released the fish into the lake and stood and waited. After a few minutes, the warden said, "Well?"
"Well, WHUT?" said the redneck.
The warden asked, "When are you going to call em back?"
"Call who back?"
"The FISH," replied the warden!
"Whut fish?" asked the redneck.  

MORAL OF THE STORY:
We may not be as smart as some city slickers, but we ain"t as dumb as some government employees.

(thanks Joe)

Cleaning aka as wasting time

You guys, when it comes to cleaning, I'm pretty sure I've got some form of ADD. I've got nothing but the best of intentions when it comes to cleaning the filth pit that I call my house (OK, not so much filth as general mess). Me trying to clean goes a little something like this:
First, I convince myself that I just need to focus on one room at a time. So, maybe I pick the kitchen. I start clearing out some of the clutter, throwing things away and putting them back where they belong.
Brain Dialogue: "Oh look--cold medicine from when I was sick three weeks ago. I'd better go into the bathroom and put that in the medicine cabinet." [off to the bathroom I go]
"Dear lord! Would you look at what a mess this bathroom is? I know I'm working on the kitchen right now, but if I could just pick up a few things in here, I'm sure it would look MUCH better!"
So, I pick up the clothes that have gathered on the floor, and I start to clean up the vanity when I happen to glance into the mirror.
"Wow! My chin hair need some serious grooming!" So, I do that for 10 minutes. "Oh look--there's my dental floss. Better floss my teeth! La la la la la. love in an elevator..."
Then it occurs to me that I was supposed to be cleaning--focusing on the kitchen, as a matter of fact. So, I go back to the kitchen. Where I notice a new magazine that I haven't read yet. I start flipping through the magazine. Five minutes later, I am back with a renewed sense of purpose.
"You know, maybe I should just wash the dishes. That way I won't be as easily distracted." But, before I start the dishes, I remember that there was a cup sitting next to the computer, which I had better go get so I can wash it. Unfortunately, in the process of getting the cup, I come too close to the internet force field and ohmygodit'sbeenatleast30minutessinceIcheckedmyemail!!!!! Easily  half an hour passes before I realize that I'm thirsty, and I return to the kitchen without the cup that I was getting in the first place.
Please tell me I am not the only one.. Please.

Things I have learned about cooking.

 

These are recent tips I've learned about cooking and food.
1) Refrigerate an onion for at east a half hour before cutting. This way, you won't cry. For a crybaby like me, this is awesome. I've tried lots of things to not cry from onions and this works well. I didn't have a tear!
2) Salt eggplant before cooking. After you slice your eggplant, salt one side and let it sit for 15 minutes. You will see the liquid droplets on the surface of the eggplant. Then turn the eggplant over and salt the other side. Let it sit for 15 minutes and proceed to cook. This makes it much more flavorful.
3) If you want the medical benefits of garlic, use it within 15 minutes of chopping. After that, it loses 90% of it's potency. Bad news for me, who just bought one of those massive jars of prechopped garlic!

Monday with Morgan

 

 

Do you want fries with that ? 

 

Morgan with her new playhouse.  

Never Forget