COPD, What’s wrong with me?

What is COPD, it is chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, it is a progressive disease that makes it hard to breathe. Progressive means it gets worse over time.

COPD can cause coughing that produces large amounts of mucus, wheezing, shortness of breath, chest tightness, and other symptoms.

Cigarette smoking is the leading cause of COPD. Most people who have COPD smoke or used to smoke. Long-term exposure to other lung irritants, such as air pollution, chemical fumes, or dust, also may contribute to COPD. Mine is from smoking.

I guess to understand COPD; it helps to understand how the lungs work. The air that you breathe goes down your windpipe into tubes in your lungs called bronchial tubes, or airways. Your airways are shaped like an upside down tree with many branches, at the end of each branch is an air sac. The air sacs and the airways are elastic, meaning when you breathe in each sac fills with air, sort of like a balloon and when you breathe out, the sac deflates.

When you have COPD, less air flows in and out, because the airways and air sacs have lost their elasticity. The walls between the air sacs have been destroyed, or they have become thick and inflamed and have more mucus than usual which will clog the airways. The term COPD includes two main conditions, emphysema and chronic obstructive bronchitis.

In emphysema, the walls between many of the air sacs are damaged, causing them to lose their shape and become floppy. This damage also can destroy the walls of the air sacs, leading to fewer and larger air sacs instead of many tiny ones. In chronic obstructive bronchitis, the lining of the airways is constantly irritated and inflamed. This causes the lining to thicken. Lots of thick mucus forms in the airways, making it hard to breathe. Most people who have COPD have both emphysema and chronic obstructive bronchitis. Thus, the general term "COPD" is more accurate. COPD is a major cause of disability and it's the fourth leading cause of death in the United States. More than 12 million people are currently diagnosed with COPD. An additional 12 million likely have the disease and don't even know it. COPD develops slowly. Symptoms often worsen over time and can limit your ability to do routine activities. Severe COPD may prevent you from doing even basic activities like walking, cooking, or taking care of yourself. Most of the time, COPD is diagnosed in middle-aged or older people. The disease isn't passed from person to person—you can't catch it from someone else. COPD has no cure yet and doctors don't know how to reverse the damage to the airways and lungs. However, treatments and lifestyle changes can help you feel better, stay more active, and slow the progress of the disease.

Grammar

"If your selling a car on Craigs list make sure you spell at least the name of the car correctly or you make yourself look stupid. Chevy isn't spelled Chevie..."

I suppose that people who cannot properly distinguish between "your" and "you're" don't make themselves look stupid at all. (Not to mention the fact that Craigslist, last time I checked, wasn't two words.)
Which brings me to a question/pet peeve. Why can't the average native English speaking, college-educated, monolingual adult in this country use proper grammar/spelling at a fifth grade level? I don't mean making occasional typos or mistaking "your" for "you're" once or twice because you're typing emails at 4 a.m., but really not knowing the difference to the point that you post 5 different for sale ads,(not that I'm counting), all with the same damn mistakes. Which means that you really don't know that cannot is one word, or that it's is not possessive, etc. I swear we learned this back in fifth grade, or maybe even third grade. Why aren't they teaching this and drilling this ad nauseam in the schools?
It's not like I expect people to know that peruse actually means "to read carefully" or that data is a plural noun. But you're/your? They're/their/there? Too/to/two? C'mon people. Every native English speaker over the age of 11 should have mastery of such basic grammatical concepts.

Puns

1. Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery.
2. A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative
3. I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.
4. If electricity comes from electrons... does that mean that morality comes from morons?
5. Sea captains don't like crew cuts.
6. A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
7. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
8. Without geometry, life is pointless.
9. When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination.
10. Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well-red.
11. When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
12. Alarms: What an octopus is.
13. Dockyard: A physician's garden.
14. Incongruous: Where bills are passed

W.C. Fields

Some fantastic quotes from the great W.C. Fields:

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.

Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.

Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.

Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.

Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.

Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?

Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.

Here lies W. C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia.

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.

I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I drink therefore I am.

I like children - fried.

I must have a drink of breakfast.
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.

I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.

I never met a kid I liked.

I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.

I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.

I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.

I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.

If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.

It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.
It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.

Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.

Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.

Never give a sucker an even break.

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.

No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.

On the whole, I'd rather be in Philadelphia.

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.

Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.

Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.

Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.

Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.

The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.

There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.

When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.

Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one.

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

Underwear

Why is it so hard to find something that we all wear? I'm talking about underwear. Not panties. I really don't understand who the heck came up with the term panties. Ugh. Just the thought makes me cringe. I mean, who the heck calls these things panties, besides a) clueless guys who think that panties sounds sexier than underwear (it doesn't), b) possibly the older generation--the same generation that owns blouses, or c) companies like Victoria's Secret that think women feel sexier if they called underwear panties (we don't).
To all that, I say blegh.
No grounded female that I know calls underwear panties. (Though no offense if you either wear panties or have a spouse or SO who wears panties.)
But this was not the point of this posting.
My question is, why can't I find simple functional underwear?
I don't want sexy. I've tried the lacy, satin/silk things, back in the day, but they are functionally impractical. They are also uncomfortable and slide around a lot, which is extremely annoying. Granted, I am basing this on a minuscule sample size, but it was enough to learn that I don't like these. These lacy, satiny things also have very flimsy elastic, so they don't really stay on securely. If I wanted my underwear off, I would simply not wear underwear.
Nor do I want frumpy.
I used to find underwear in a style that I liked that were comfortable, functional, and (well, to me) not frumpy-looking. Then the style changed. Before underwear had a sturdy elastic waistband, now this new line comes with a very flimsy one, which I already mentioned I do not like. After a few washings, some of them already feel rather loose.
I usually find two types of underwear: frumpy and sexy.
I do not want underwear that is 7 inches thick. That would come up past my belly button and perhaps up to my waist. Unfortunately, most of the ladies underwear was of this sort.
I do not want microfiber or silk or satin or all of these other fabrics that many underwear were offered in. I am a creature of habit, and for me, comfortable works best. Thus, comfort or bust.
I do not want underwear in bright pink, or turquoise polka dots, or fluorescent stripes. If you wear a lot of light-colored skirts and pants, the patterns and dark colors will show right through. I don't know why anyone didn't think of this when they came out with the color line. Not to be picky, but I also do not want white, which I think is the most utterly useless color for women's underwear. Though in general, I don't think white is a terribly useful color for any clothing.
And I certainly do not want a cutesy little bow secured by a bead at the front of my underwear. Actually, if I found underwear that fit all of my criteria except for this, I'd happily buy it, but this was not the case. What is the point of this tiny bow, anyway?
This might sound like a lot of demands, but it's really not. I want functional non-frumpy underwear that is well made, has a decent-quality elastic waistband, and comes in light (but not white) colors. And yet, I could not find anything like this at a local store, even though they had a whole corner devoted to just underwear. How could a store have hundreds of different types of underwear and not have the kind I want?

Guy underwear is always functional. Other than the boxer vs. briefs divide, there are not 100 different types of guy underwear to choose from, because they only carry functional guy underwear. Why can't we have only functional types of underwear? Why are we the ones with pretty useless little bows or satiny straps? I mean, I'm not suggesting they add bows to guy underwear. The male equivalent might be spoilers or something on their underwear. But I have never seen such a thing. It turns out that this is because any such thing would be utterly absurd. So would offering guy underwear in 200 different colors and 10 different fabrics.
And yet, with females, this is the norm.

Saturday Fact

Peeing in the shower can save 1,157 gallons of water annually per household. (The next time someone complains, show them this.) Wow who knew? And more importantly did our government spend our tax money to research this?