My sister died last April. We had fallen out of touch in recent years, despite that we lived near each other, because we had become frustrated with one another, and I was all too willing to comply with her stated desire to be left alone. In the years since then, I've thought about reaching out to her, but I never did. She could have done the same, of course, but might very well have refrained from doing so for no other reason than that she thought I was still mad at her. (I wasn't.) For my part, the reason I didn't reach out was simply that I sometimes found her frustrating, and therefore I didn't really want to.
"There will always be time for reconciliation later" is one of those lies that we tell ourselves, which I think we know very well are lies, even as we are comforted by them. I wish I had not been so hard-hearted and lazy, but there's nothing I can do about it now.
3 comments:
Msn:
There will ALWAYS be times (and people) that test our resolve in that we should have said something, done something, or acted in another manner.
Too often, we tend to fixate on those things and think over and over again until we think ourselves into inaction.
And we then think we're doing the right thing.
There is no universal panacea that we can emotionally attach to such things that will make them all go away.
Time waits for no one.
Everyone has gone through this.
What we can take away from this, is that we did what we thought was right at the time.
Remember, history, like regrets are always viewed with 20/20 vision...I know that ALL too well.
You're not alone there.
And never will be.
I try to change the present, because the past is set in stone.
Every day is a solitary challenge.
Yet, we are never alone.
Well said, Bob G.
Thanks to you both. I appreciate the support. I know I am not unique in this but I sure feel alone in this struggle with guilt. Breaks my heart that I let this happen.
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