HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM

1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

"Bubba,
Bertha, Duke, Slim, & I went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour.
Don't mess with the pit bulls; they attacked the mailman this morning and
messed him up bad. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell
from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house.
Better wait outside. Be right back.
Cooter"

Happy Easter

Rip-offs

If there is anything in this world I hate it is being ripped off. Now I am all for making a profit, after all I was in business for many years. But it is the out and out rip-offs that burn my butt.

1. Theater Popcorn… a mark up of 900%

2. Free Credit Report dot com… I decided to check my credit report and filled out the forms. I was a little upset when they charged me .99¢ but even more upset when the next month there was a $15.00 charge on my debit card. When you charge money despite the word “free” being in your corporate name, it’s tough to argue that your service isn’t a rip-off to consumers.

3. Premium gasoline…For whatever reason, many people believe that filling up with premium grade gasoline is somehow “better” for their car, or even that it “cleans out the engine.” Others actually believe that it is essential to put premium gas in their car and that it will malfunction if you try to run it on anything less. For most drivers, nothing could be further from the truth. Just check your car’s owners manual. If you need to use premium gas for a legitimate, mechanical reason, it will be stated in the manual so many times that it will be impossible to miss. Luxury cars (like Cadillac's, for example) often require premium gas because their high performance engines require higher octane – that is, slower burning – fuel. But if your owners manual makes no mention of it, you are simply wasting money on each premium gallon you purchase.

4. Printer ink cartridges… they sell you a printer at a discounted price. then hit you with outrageous costs for ink refills. Each cartridge contains about the amount of in in a regular bic pen. Yep.. RIP OFF. I buy generic cartridges on line and get free shipping and fast delivery.

There are many more.. like dental floss.. get a load of how much they charge for that piece of string. My Dish network bill every month. I watch only about 20 channels but pay for 250. And they are grouped so I have to subscribe to that plan to get the stations I watch.

Just my opinion.

Quotes

Everything has its beauty but not everyone sees it.

A dead end is just a place to turn around

If logic tells you that life is a meaningless accident, don't give up on life. Give up on logic

"Happiness is a Warm Gun." ~ The Beatles

"If we were supposed to talk more than listen, we would have two mouths and one ear." -Mark Twain

"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity;an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty."~Winston S.Churchill

"Don't say the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first." ~ Mark Twain

"The true measure of man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good"

"Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly."

RIP Nancy

Estranged.... what does this word mean? Webster has the definition as a verb: alienate, disaffect, wean. To cause one to break a bond of affection or loyalty.

I have been estranged from family members from time to time in my life. Sometimes life is easier when not dealing with what would seem to be overwhelming issues. Better to put them on the back burner, and let it go until you feel ready to deal. My sister was one of those family members that I often needed to distance myself from. I loved her. During our last estrangement she died. Grief is a funny thing, though. It knows no estrangement. No matter who was right any chance of atonement was lost. My sister died this morning. We were estranged. I can only hope that she was at peace when she passed on. I hope she realized that I loved her even when I didn't like her. I hope that she knows that I am shedding tears of grief for her. I hope. Hope is all I have.

April Fools Day

An observance which takes place in many western countries every April 1, traditionally known as April Fools' Day or All Fools' Day. It's a day when humor reigns and harmless pranks, practical jokes, and hoaxes are sanctioned. Customary practices range from simple tricks played on friends, family, and coworkers to elaborate media hoaxes concocted for mass consumption.

The origins of April Fools' Day are obscure.

Notable April Fools' Day pranks and hoaxes:

One of the great media hoaxes of all time was perpetrated on April 1, 1957 by the BBC, which reported on its news program Panorama that Switzerland was experiencing a bumper spaghetti harvest that year thanks to favorable weather and the elimination of the dread "spaghetti weevil." Staged video footage showing happy peasants plucking strands of pasta from tall trees was so convincing that many viewers actually called the network to ask how they could grow their own.

Some of the best-known pranks in recent years were mounted by advertising agencies. In 1996, Taco Bell ran a full-page ad in the New York Times announcing it had purchased the Liberty Bell and would rename it the "Taco Liberty Bell." Burger King pulled off a similar prank in 1998, announcing the roll out of its Left-Handed Whopper supposedly designed so that condiments would drip from the right side of the burger rather than the left.

On the Internet hoaxes have become such standard fare that April Fools' Day is barely distinguishable from any other, though a few notable pranks stand out and tend to be re-posted year after year -- e.g., the 1996 announcement that every computer connected to the World Wide Web must be turned off for Internet Cleaning Day, a 24-hour period during which useless "flotsam and jetsam" are flushed from the system.