Disclaimer

The author is not responsible for anything/anyone on this page that could disturb/destroy the sanity of the creature visiting it. Any complaints may be addressed to their own local quack/doctor and the author is NOT responsible for the medical bills resulting. Consequences of reckless acts such as reading the page backwards, selecting view-source and attempting to memorize its contents or anything subject to the reader's fantasy will have to be suffered by the visitor alone. If you are breaking any laws in your planet/country (including those laid down by your dad, mom, husband, yourself) I don't give a damn. The views and opinions expressed in this blog are those of mine unless otherwise stated. Now try reading this backwards, skipping every third letter.

This is happening in our country right now!!!!

We Must Stop This Immediately!
Have you noticed that stairs are getting steeper. Groceries are heavier. And, everything is farther away. Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become!
And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they're red in the face! What do they think I am a lip reader?
I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into an old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn't even recognize me.
I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own reflection.well, REALLY NOW - even mirrors are not made the way they used to be!
Another thing, everyone drives so fast these days! You're risking life and limb if you happen to pull onto the interstate in front of them. All I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.
Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why else would they suddenly start labeling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Do they think no one notices?
The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank. Do they think I actually 'believe' the number I see on that dial? HA! I would never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these people think they're fooling?
I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's going on -- but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too: they've printed the phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a number in there!
All I can do is pass along this warning:
WE ARE UNDER ATTACK!
Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon everyone will have to suffer these awful indignities..
PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW AS SOON AS POSSIBLE SO WE CAN GET THIS CONSPIRACY STOPPED!
PS: I am posting this in a larger font size, because something has happened to my computer's fonts - they are smaller than they once were.

John Edwards

Today I heard the news that Elizabeth Edwards has left her husband. My first thought was why did it take so long. Then after thinking it over, I thought why did he not “Man up” and have the gonads to walk away?? Why did he let her be the one to do it? She didn't do anything wrong. She had breast cancer and is in the fight of her life. Then she was diagnosed with bone cancer. She has to deal with herself and help her children adjust to the fact that mom won't always be here. Why does she then have to deal with her cheating, baby making husband and his mistress? And you know she has to deal with his mistress and that child.
I have no respect for a Man who can make a baby and then deny it. I don't care what kind of career you have. You made your bed, you lay in it. Then to top it off, not only did you step out of your marriage, you didn't even use protection. How much more disrespectful can you be to your wife?
Sure there are some women who deal with it for whatever reason. I'm not sure why. I've heard some say there's too much invested between the two of them. Whether that investment is money or the kids, whatever. Did John Edwards hear the part "Forsaking All Others" or was that not in the vows?
Maybe we could say for Elizabeth that Love Is Crazy. Love will make you do some things you thought you'd never do. She stayed for whatever reasons that only she will understand and I respect her for that. But I'm glad she decided that the more and more this stays in the news the more this is going to affect her health.
My message to John, "Why couldn't you be the big boy and go". Why do we hurt the ones we profess to love?

This is a quiz for people who know everything!

I found out in a hurry that I didn't.
These are not trick questions.
They are straight questions with straight answers.

There are only nine questions

1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends.

2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?

3. Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables?

4. What fruit has its seeds on the outside?

5. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?

6. Only three words in standard English begin with the letters ' dw' and they are all common words. Name two of them.

7.. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar.

Can you name at least half of them?

8. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh.

9. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet beginning with the letter 'S.'

Answers To Quiz:

1... The one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends: Boxing.

2. North American landmark constantly moving backward: Niagara Falls .
(The rim is worn down about two and a half feet each year because of the millions of gallons of water that rush over it every minute.)
3. Only two vegetables that can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons: Asparagus and rhubarb.

4. The fruit with its seeds on the outside: Strawberry..

5. How did the pear get inside the brandy bottle? It grew inside the bottle.
The bottles are placed over pear buds when they are small, and are wired in place on the tree. The bottle is left in place for the entire growing season. When the pears are ripe, they are snipped off at the stems.

6. Three English words beginning with dw: Dwarf, dwell and dwindle...

7. Fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar: Period, comma, colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe,question mark, exclamation point, quotation mark, brackets, parenthesis, braces, and ellipses.

8. The only vegetable or fruit never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form but fresh: Lettuce.

9. Six or more things you can wear on your feet beginning with 'S': Shoes, socks, sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, skates, snowshoes, stockings, stilts.

(Thanks Joe)

Got Twinkle?

LIfe

Life is what you make of it, I think. If you want to be happy, you can be happy. It's a matter of want. I've know people who have terrible tragedies to cope with and yet keep a smile on their face. They are happy people and deserve their senior moments. Other people are old before their time and some people are rich and healthy and still not happy. With age comes a contentment, doesn't it, but it's not complacency, it is real contentment. The ability to be happy in one's own skin, even if it is getting a bit saggy. Have a great day today. Dance like a gazelle and sing like a lark and keep your smile going strong.