What my adult children don’t need: They don’t need me to meddle and try to manipulate them. They don’t need me to remind them of past mistakes. They don’t need me to interfere. They don’t need any more anger. They don’t need me to pry. The don’t need to be controlled. They don’t need my criticism . They don’t need my disapproval either and they can’t fulfill my unfulfilled dreams. And they certainly don’t need me to abandon them.
Here is what my adult children need:
My Respect.
Privacy
My Encouragement
My Love
Their Independence
And to make their own choices in life.
I will be available. I will be supportive and helpful.
I will keep my mouth shut. (or try)
Kids do not come with a set of instructions. And neither do parents.
These are just my own observations that I have arrived at while on my own journey.
4 comments:
Very well said! Could not have said it better myself. I feel sure that the majority of parents feel this way. The last thing I want to do is be an interfering Mom. That would make them lose respect for me, I'm sure. I love my kids, as you do, more than life itself. But they want & need their independence.
Great post.
AOB
I agree! My kids are "mostly adults" now, but not quite. (23 & 21 . . . still in college . . . still have bedrooms here at home, where they rarely sleep. But still, they think they are adults! :)
It's been very difficult at times to keep my thoughts to myself. I don't always agree with their choices, and badly want to tell them! Mostly, I don't. I just bite my tongue (and hope my husband brings it up instead!!) They're both girls; for some reason they listen to their dad better than they listen to their mom!
I was glad to read your thoughts today, as I want to keep them in mind.
Thanks for sharing!
MsN:
Now if THAT doesn't sound like A REAL PLAN...I don't know WHAT does.
Very well put.
Stay safe (and keep cool) down there.
Wise words. Wise Woman. Great Kids and Grandkids! Now wonder.
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