Personal Jet Pack

I am sick and tired of waiting for the personal jet packs we were promised when we were growing up in the 60’s! All those black and white films I saw in school of what the future would be like INCLUDED PERSONAL JET PACKS! Its 50 years later and even our cars still require that WE STEER THEM (also a lie from those films about the future).

The only big invention of the future we’ve gotten so far is the SEGWAY. It’s a SCOOTER! We had scooters in the 60’s! Ooh! You can stand on it! You can stand on a scooter too, dummy! Yeah, but, it won’t fall over no matter what! A scooter is only THREE INCHES FROM THE GROUND, FALLING over was never like, my primary concern.

In 1980, TWENTY years after the promise of a personal jet pack that would fly you anywhere in a minute, I was still sitting in bumper to bumper traffic. But, I thought, just hang in there, SOON, they will have personal jet packs, FOR SURE by the year 1992. Now here it is 2009! It’s the freakin twenty first century!

When we can FLY TO WORK. THAT WILL CHANGE THE WAY I LIVE. WHEN WE CAN DRINK BEER AND EAT CANDY AND LOSE WEIGHT, THAT WILL CHANGE THE WAY I LIVE. WHEN I CAN GET A Freakin HUMAN BEING ON THE TELEPHONE AT THE DMV/PHARMACY/CABLE COMPANY THAT WILL CHANGE THE WAY I LIVE!

Dick Tracy (written in the 1930’s) had a FLYING Jet pack, not a scooter. It FLEW! In 1930! That’s before we had MICROWAVE OVENS and penicillin, and organ transplants. 79 years ago! I want my personal jet pack! WHERE IS MY PERSONAL JET PACK! Everyone, if you email congress and tell them to quit throwing away money on health care and all the earmarks and funnel it to flying jet pack research, WE CAN MAKE THIS HAPPEN!!!