I Resolve to NOT

Tomorrow it will be 2010.
A lot of people scramble to come up with resolutions that they hope to keep for the New Year.
For a twist, I’m going to write down resolutions that I know I will not keep.

I resolve to NOT try and lose weight. Let’s be honest here. I like to eat. I tend to gravitate towards the foods that aren’t healthy. If the pounds drop, that’s fantastic. If not, well, I can still fit into my pants so all is well.

I resolve to NOT stop cursing silently at the people who refuse to use their turn signals while driving. How hard is it to flick your wrist?

I resolve to NOT stop cursing silently at the people who talk on their cell phones while driving. Get a Bluetooth.

I resolve to NOT stop watching sugary chick flicks. I tried several times to broaden my horizon by trying to watch those movies with subtitles. Because apparently you’re a well rounded adult if you enjoy them or something. I don’t know. I do know that I fell asleep while watching several subtitled movies. I couldn’t follow the plot. I suppose this means I’m not well rounded. Oh well. Pass me The Notebook please.

To be continued.

Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them. - Lou Holtz