You can count on the arrival of spring to bring many things - sun, birds, flowers, and Beelzebub's magic fairy dust. Yeah, Beelzebub, aka Satan, sometimes goes by the name of Mephistopheles - he brings out the big guns in spring. It's called POLLEN, and it sucks.
Every spring, my enjoyment of sun and breeze is marred by the choking, sneeze-inducing, eye-watering, asthma-producing Devil Spew of Pollen. It causes me to morph from a reasonably sane person to a snorting, sniffling, dripping, coughing, tearing, and very bitter red-eyed shrew.
I'm just looking outside my window right now (as best I can look through eyes that are puffy slits), and I am not enjoying the scenery of the pretty trees with their pretty white fluffs of flowers, because I see the wind loosening the flowers, and like demonic snow, the pollen is flying. Flying straight into my mucus membranes and making me slowly die. I dream of taking others down with me as I go.
My head feels like an evil force removed my brain and took a large cotton ball and rammed it into my brain cavity. I can't smell anything, I wheeze when I breathe, and my allergy medicine is making me feel like the head zombie on the Dawn of the Dead. In short, I'm moving to Antarctica. Snow can't make you sneeze, can it? I'll just have to stay away from the penguin feathers...
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Pollen : The Magic Fairy Dust of Satan
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2 comments:
MsN:
I've had pollen-related sneezing jags over the years, but have avoided the allergy gig...
(was allergic to insects instead)
Makes me wonder why they don't invent some kind of REAL filter for those who suffer...WITHOUT having to look like a refugee from a WW1 gas attack!
(and a snowball mask looks more like a person from JAPAN with the sniffles)
Surgeon mask? B
etter left IN the operating room, thank you.
Using a garden hose (set to "mist") to lightly wet the plants DOES help the pollen fall to the ground or remain on the plant.
And NEVER compare yourself to a zombie...EVER!
(especially if you're within my line-of-sight...lol)
But it's OK to feel like one,...once in a while.
(the wardrobe really sucks, though)
Stay safe (and congestion-free) down there.
Drugs! DRUGS! And avoid fresh-cut lawns and ripe cornfields. That works for me, anyways.
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