COPD, What’s wrong with me?

What is COPD, it is chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, it is a progressive disease that makes it hard to breathe. Progressive means it gets worse over time.

COPD can cause coughing that produces large amounts of mucus, wheezing, shortness of breath, chest tightness, and other symptoms.

Cigarette smoking is the leading cause of COPD. Most people who have COPD smoke or used to smoke. Long-term exposure to other lung irritants, such as air pollution, chemical fumes, or dust, also may contribute to COPD. Mine is from smoking.

I guess to understand COPD; it helps to understand how the lungs work. The air that you breathe goes down your windpipe into tubes in your lungs called bronchial tubes, or airways. Your airways are shaped like an upside down tree with many branches, at the end of each branch is an air sac. The air sacs and the airways are elastic, meaning when you breathe in each sac fills with air, sort of like a balloon and when you breathe out, the sac deflates.

When you have COPD, less air flows in and out, because the airways and air sacs have lost their elasticity. The walls between the air sacs have been destroyed, or they have become thick and inflamed and have more mucus than usual which will clog the airways. The term COPD includes two main conditions, emphysema and chronic obstructive bronchitis.

In emphysema, the walls between many of the air sacs are damaged, causing them to lose their shape and become floppy. This damage also can destroy the walls of the air sacs, leading to fewer and larger air sacs instead of many tiny ones. In chronic obstructive bronchitis, the lining of the airways is constantly irritated and inflamed. This causes the lining to thicken. Lots of thick mucus forms in the airways, making it hard to breathe. Most people who have COPD have both emphysema and chronic obstructive bronchitis. Thus, the general term "COPD" is more accurate. COPD is a major cause of disability and it's the fourth leading cause of death in the United States. More than 12 million people are currently diagnosed with COPD. An additional 12 million likely have the disease and don't even know it. COPD develops slowly. Symptoms often worsen over time and can limit your ability to do routine activities. Severe COPD may prevent you from doing even basic activities like walking, cooking, or taking care of yourself. Most of the time, COPD is diagnosed in middle-aged or older people. The disease isn't passed from person to person—you can't catch it from someone else. COPD has no cure yet and doctors don't know how to reverse the damage to the airways and lungs. However, treatments and lifestyle changes can help you feel better, stay more active, and slow the progress of the disease.

Grammar

"If your selling a car on Craigs list make sure you spell at least the name of the car correctly or you make yourself look stupid. Chevy isn't spelled Chevie..."

I suppose that people who cannot properly distinguish between "your" and "you're" don't make themselves look stupid at all. (Not to mention the fact that Craigslist, last time I checked, wasn't two words.)
Which brings me to a question/pet peeve. Why can't the average native English speaking, college-educated, monolingual adult in this country use proper grammar/spelling at a fifth grade level? I don't mean making occasional typos or mistaking "your" for "you're" once or twice because you're typing emails at 4 a.m., but really not knowing the difference to the point that you post 5 different for sale ads,(not that I'm counting), all with the same damn mistakes. Which means that you really don't know that cannot is one word, or that it's is not possessive, etc. I swear we learned this back in fifth grade, or maybe even third grade. Why aren't they teaching this and drilling this ad nauseam in the schools?
It's not like I expect people to know that peruse actually means "to read carefully" or that data is a plural noun. But you're/your? They're/their/there? Too/to/two? C'mon people. Every native English speaker over the age of 11 should have mastery of such basic grammatical concepts.

Puns

1. Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery.
2. A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative
3. I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.
4. If electricity comes from electrons... does that mean that morality comes from morons?
5. Sea captains don't like crew cuts.
6. A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
7. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
8. Without geometry, life is pointless.
9. When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination.
10. Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well-red.
11. When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
12. Alarms: What an octopus is.
13. Dockyard: A physician's garden.
14. Incongruous: Where bills are passed

W.C. Fields

Some fantastic quotes from the great W.C. Fields:

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.

Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.

Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.

Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.

Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.

Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?

Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.

Here lies W. C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia.

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.

I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I drink therefore I am.

I like children - fried.

I must have a drink of breakfast.
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.

I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.

I never met a kid I liked.

I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.

I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.

I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.

I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.

If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.

It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.
It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.

Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.

Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.

Never give a sucker an even break.

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.

No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.

On the whole, I'd rather be in Philadelphia.

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.

Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.

Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.

Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.

Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.

The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.

There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.

When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.

Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one.

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

Underwear

Why is it so hard to find something that we all wear? I'm talking about underwear. Not panties. I really don't understand who the heck came up with the term panties. Ugh. Just the thought makes me cringe. I mean, who the heck calls these things panties, besides a) clueless guys who think that panties sounds sexier than underwear (it doesn't), b) possibly the older generation--the same generation that owns blouses, or c) companies like Victoria's Secret that think women feel sexier if they called underwear panties (we don't).
To all that, I say blegh.
No grounded female that I know calls underwear panties. (Though no offense if you either wear panties or have a spouse or SO who wears panties.)
But this was not the point of this posting.
My question is, why can't I find simple functional underwear?
I don't want sexy. I've tried the lacy, satin/silk things, back in the day, but they are functionally impractical. They are also uncomfortable and slide around a lot, which is extremely annoying. Granted, I am basing this on a minuscule sample size, but it was enough to learn that I don't like these. These lacy, satiny things also have very flimsy elastic, so they don't really stay on securely. If I wanted my underwear off, I would simply not wear underwear.
Nor do I want frumpy.
I used to find underwear in a style that I liked that were comfortable, functional, and (well, to me) not frumpy-looking. Then the style changed. Before underwear had a sturdy elastic waistband, now this new line comes with a very flimsy one, which I already mentioned I do not like. After a few washings, some of them already feel rather loose.
I usually find two types of underwear: frumpy and sexy.
I do not want underwear that is 7 inches thick. That would come up past my belly button and perhaps up to my waist. Unfortunately, most of the ladies underwear was of this sort.
I do not want microfiber or silk or satin or all of these other fabrics that many underwear were offered in. I am a creature of habit, and for me, comfortable works best. Thus, comfort or bust.
I do not want underwear in bright pink, or turquoise polka dots, or fluorescent stripes. If you wear a lot of light-colored skirts and pants, the patterns and dark colors will show right through. I don't know why anyone didn't think of this when they came out with the color line. Not to be picky, but I also do not want white, which I think is the most utterly useless color for women's underwear. Though in general, I don't think white is a terribly useful color for any clothing.
And I certainly do not want a cutesy little bow secured by a bead at the front of my underwear. Actually, if I found underwear that fit all of my criteria except for this, I'd happily buy it, but this was not the case. What is the point of this tiny bow, anyway?
This might sound like a lot of demands, but it's really not. I want functional non-frumpy underwear that is well made, has a decent-quality elastic waistband, and comes in light (but not white) colors. And yet, I could not find anything like this at a local store, even though they had a whole corner devoted to just underwear. How could a store have hundreds of different types of underwear and not have the kind I want?

Guy underwear is always functional. Other than the boxer vs. briefs divide, there are not 100 different types of guy underwear to choose from, because they only carry functional guy underwear. Why can't we have only functional types of underwear? Why are we the ones with pretty useless little bows or satiny straps? I mean, I'm not suggesting they add bows to guy underwear. The male equivalent might be spoilers or something on their underwear. But I have never seen such a thing. It turns out that this is because any such thing would be utterly absurd. So would offering guy underwear in 200 different colors and 10 different fabrics.
And yet, with females, this is the norm.

Saturday Fact

Peeing in the shower can save 1,157 gallons of water annually per household. (The next time someone complains, show them this.) Wow who knew? And more importantly did our government spend our tax money to research this?

Pet Peeves

1. People having obviously PRIVATE conversations on their cell phone in public places.
2. When somebody tosses something toward a garbage can, like they think they're a basketball star, then leave it on the ground after they miss!
3. People who walk their dogs and let them poop indiscriminately (like on someone's lawn), and does not pick it up.
4. How opening any cheap electronic item these days requires cutting up your finger with cheap impossible to open plastic molding covering.
5. People that pop and smack their chewing gum.
6. People who don't know the difference between its/it’s and they’re /their/there.
7. When someone with a full cart of groceries gets into the 10 items or less line.
8. People who think that they are the only one with correct background for understanding an issue.
9. Suburban kids who think they are gangstas.
10. People who no matter what relate to something you have done and try to "one up" you.

Failure

Failure doesn't mean I am a failure. It does mean I have not yet succeeded. Failure doesn't mean that I have accomplished nothing, but it does mean I have learned something. Failure doesn't mean I have been disgraced, but it does mean that I dared to try. Failure doesn't mean that I don't have it, it does mean that I have to do something in a different way. Failure doesn't mean that I have wasted my life, It does mean that I have a reason to start over. Failure doesn't mean that I should give up, It does mean that I must try harder. Failure doesn't mean that I will never make it, It does mean that I need more patience. The secret of success is in two words -"Right decisions". And we make right decisions by our experience and we get that experience by two words- "Wrong decisions". Also people are different. Some people work well under pressure and need goals. While others just fail under pressure and are better functional in a nurturing environment. The only work ethic that works is listening to you heart as much as possible. In the end what counts is what your heart is telling you what to do and how to do, not somebody else or something else. That's the key. Think about the values you wish to live your life by.

We grow by dreams. Everyone is a dreamer. You have failed many times, although you may not remember. You fell down the first time you tried to walk. You almost drowned the first time you tried to swim. Don't worry about failure. Worry about the chances you miss when you don’t even try.

We can't change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is live our life, and change our attitude. We are in charge of our attitude. I am convinced that life is like 10% what happens and 90% how I react to it. Once you reach that point in life, contentment and happiness can not be too far.

Today

My back yard. Today. Wabash River. Town park.

2

I was surfing and found a post the other day called Two Types of People (I'm original, huh?) Here is their top ten:

10. one that calls any type of cola SODA, and the other that calls it POP.
9. Those who hang the roll of toilet paper over, and those who hang under.
8. those who pour the cereal in first and those that pour the milk in…!
7. Those who do not understand dichotomies and those who don’t.
6. People who read the instructions and those who do not.
5. Those who like Journey, and those who lie.
4. There are two “types” of people, the “touch-typists” and the “hunt and peckers”
3. Those who think there are two types of people, and those who don’t.
2. those that understand Lost and those that appreciate all this free time on their hands
1. There are 10 types of people: Those who understand binary and those who don’t

Here are my answers:

10. Soda

9. Over

8. Cereal how else do you know how much milk you need.

7. I do

6. Never ever do I read them.. drives my friends crazy.

5. Love Journey

4. Touch type learned in school before it was called keyboarding.

3. I know there are.

2. I have never watched it.

1. HaHa! gotta love those math jokes.

What are your answers?

Why Write??

Last night, a friend asked me why I blog on this site, and why I bother spending so much time putting ideas together and writing about them…especially when so few people read them, and even less appreciate them. They went on to say, while it was a nice hobby, it was probably a lot of time gone to waste.
That didn’t bother me so much as it made me ponder why, I myself do this. So this blogposts is a short answer to her question. Why write?

The answer:
There are times when you can’t do the things you want to, say the things you need to, or express the anger you feel. Times when words are easier written than said and actions are easier imagined than done. There are times when there’s no one who understands or cares and just times when you don’t want to talk to anyone but yourself. For all those times, I’ve written a blog. For the times that I’ve had smoke coming out of my ears, hands trembling from fear and anxiousness to the point of nausea. For the times when I’ve been too unsure about how I felt to act, and times I’ve been completely sure of what I’ve wanted, but unsure of how to get it- that’s when I wrote.
I wrote these blogposts, smiles rolling off my lips and smoke blowing out both ears. It was my indirect way to release anger and fears. Some release anger by turning to a bottle of vodka, or making the next available appointment to see their shrink. And it doesn’t matter much if it’s useful or not, appreciated or not, enjoyable or not. It’s something I do, because therapy is personal. And more importantly, it makes me feel good.

Sometimes I

1. am Devious.
2. am mischievous.
3. am wracked with guilt.
4. am careless with money, but not extravagant. I don’t often spend money on myself.
5. give money to needy strangers.
6. am backed into a corner and I’ll fight.
7. can be a little vindictive and I enjoy seeing people get their just rewards.
8. don’t like public scenes and I don’t like to draw attention to myself unless I really have to.
9. pretend to be thick skinned but I’m extremely sensitive. I’m easily hurt. I cry all too easily, but there’s a good chance you’ll never ever see it.
10. believed myself to be a good and decent person despite my faults.

Aa and his winning art work!

This is my grandson Aaron and his winning watercolor painting. I am so proud of him.

And now you know:

1. Vampire bats use rivers to navigate. They smell the animal blood in the water and follow it.
2. The automobile "population" of Seoul, South Korea, increases by 800 cars every day.
3. Elvis received 10,000 letters a week during his stint in the U.S. Army.
4. William Shakespeare invented more than 1,700 words.
5. California has the most unlisted phone numbers per capita, Florida has the least.
6. Danny Thomas' real name was Muzyad Yakhoob.
7. In a recent study, 38% of American men said, "they love their cars more than women."
8. 25% of all murder victims are killed by a relative.
9. Taxi drivers and chauffeurs are more likely to be murdered on the job than anyone else.
10. Presidential firsts: To pay for the Civil War, Abe Lincoln signed an income tax into law.

Testing

Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering. Finally fed up, God said, 'THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job.' So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.

They moused.

They faxed.

They e-mailed.

They e-mailed with attachments.

They downloaded.

They did spreadsheets!

They wrote reports.

They created labels and cards.

They created charts and graphs.

They did some genealogy reports .

They did every job known to man.

Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than hell. Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went off. Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed.

Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their computers.. Satan started searching frantically, screaming: 'It's gone! It's all GONE! 'I lost everything when the power went out!'

Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of work. Satan observed this and became irate.

'Wait!' he screamed. 'That's not fair! He cheated! How come he has all his work and I don't have any?' God just shrugged and said,

JESUS SAVES....

Advice from an Old Woman to ALL Young Women

I thought I would offer this advice, I am a charter member of The Old Too Soon, Smart Too Late Club.

1. You are not a victim. No matter what happens to you, don't take the easy route and blame the world for your misfortune. If you were sexually assaulted, verbally abused, etc and lived to tell about it; take your pain and help those who need it.

2. Invest in your education first, your looks second. Anyone can pay a plastic surgeon to look hot, but not everyone can read a book and do simple math.

3. No matter what you call it, having a 'man to take you shopping' is glorified prostitution. He wants you for your body, you want him for his wallet. Cut the crap and call it what it is.

4. Do not seek confidence in other people. Magazines, celebrities and most pop influences are there to make you feel like you're nothing. Don't buy into it. Those celebrities need your money to look fabulous. Invest in yourself, not hype.

5. Stop fueling gossip mongers They have nothing to talk about and if you follow them for long, neither will you.

6. Be modest; why have all your goods unwrapped and leave nothing for the imagination?

7. Know the difference between sex and love. There is a major difference and if you don't know it, pick up a book or ask someone who does.

8. Do not have children just because you're lonely or insecure. Your child will end up hating you for it and you won't get the emotional blanket you hoped you'd get.

9. Get a job. Seriously. Just because you're a woman doesn't mean that you are excused from work. Find a trade, get a job. If you are a house wife, be a good one. If you are a career woman, put your heart into what you do.

10. A respectable companion is rarely at a 'bar' or da club'. These places are meat markets and will only set you up for a douche bag or a wimp. If you go, refer to rule 7.

11. Learn to cook. Cooking is a dying skill that needs not be. You'd be surprise how much weight you lose and how you can get a decent companion if you know more than picking up a phone and calling for dinner.

12. Get off your phone. If it's not your best friend, your job or your family, your cackling is not important and the rest of the world does not want to hear it. Listen more. Talk less.

13. Stop putting so much of your money into things [purses, shoes, make up] and start putting it into a savings account, a 401k or an IRA. Those shoes are not going to support you when you turn 65.

14. Stop using men to get you stuff. Have some self respect and buy your own drinks, meals and entertainment. A man will respect you more if you show them you are not helpless.

15. Perfume and baby powder does not make up for good hygiene. Shower, do your laundry, clean your place. Body odor is not excusable for either genders.

16. If you are a Lesbian, respect yourself and stop trying to find acceptance in the world. 9 out of 10 people will not accept you. Be your own woman.

17. If you are a Lesbian, you are not anymore special or important than anyone else. You love other women, but do not flex your preference thinking it makes you unique. Your mind and experiences make you unique, either gay or straight.

18. Buy clothes that fit. Be tasteful with your clothing be you big or small.

19. Don't eat for comfort, vomit to make yourself beautiful, and starve yourself to feel loved. Exercise, be sensible with your food choices, don't deprive yourself but never eat too much. The quickest way to a size 30, and to the grave, is past your teeth.

20. If they say the love you, ask them to earn your heart through good deeds, genuine kindness and respect.

21. Romance is not dead; but if you're not willing to give it, don't expect it in return.

22. Stop being a bitch to other women and other people. If you are not happy, go get therapy. No one deserves to be berated because you don't have the guts to berate yourself.

23. Do something new every day. Pole dance to learn about your sensuality, paint to express your creativity, write a blog to express your soul. Evolve and never stop learning.

24. Look in the mirror everyday and smile at what you see.

25. Stay safe. Learn to defend yourself against one or multiple attackers. Jackals do not attack if they see a big stick. If all else fails, run. There is no shame in running if it keeps you safe.

26. Love yourself. Always. When you love yourself to the fullest, the world will open with opportunities

Huh??

1. When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

2. If the 'black box' flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff?

3. Who copyrighted the copyright symbol?

4. Can you cry under water?

5. Why do people say, 'You've been working like a dog' when dogs just sit around all day?

6. Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed?

7. Do fish ever get thirsty?

8. Can you get cornered in a round room?

9. Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep?

10. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables then what is baby oil made from?

11. What should one call a male ladybird?

12. If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember that they forgot?

13. Can you blow a balloon up under water?

14. Why is it called a 'building' when it is already built?

15. If you were traveling at the speed of sound and you turned on your radio would you be able to hear it?

16. If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?

17. Why is it called a TV set when there’s only one?

18. Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can't go that fast on any road?

19. Why are ‘apart’ments stuck together?

20. Who teaches spiders which leg to put forward first, when they start walking?

21.Why is inspiration momentary, while depression is more permanent?

(from an email)

Signs of spring

• Sneezing, sniffling, watery eyes. Welcome to the midwest.
• Wind. Not to be confused with a gentle breeze.
• Flowers. Love them. Is it just me or are they extra gorgeous this year?
• Eating outside. Something about eating outside just makes any meal taste better.
• Baseball. Woot! I am not a big sports fan, but I love nothing more than watching the Cubs play baseball.

Things That Make Me Go Hmmmmm.....

*How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
*Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
*If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
*If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
*Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
*How much Healthy choice ice cream can I eat before it's no longer a healthy choice?
*If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
*Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
*Which came first, the woman or the department store?
*Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
*If blind people wear sunglasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?
*If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
*If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
*If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
*Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
*Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?
*If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?
*Can a hearse driver drive a corpse in the Car Pool lane?
*If a Man is talking in the forest and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Be Happy

Life is what you make of it, I think. If you want to be happy, you can be happy. It's a matter of want. I've know people who have terrible tragedies to cope with and yet keep a smile on their face. They are happy people and deserve their senior moments. Other people are old before their time and some people are rich and healthy and still not happy. With age comes a contentment, doesn't it, but it's not complacency, it is real contentment. The ability to be happy in one's own skin, even if it is getting a bit saggy. Have a great day today. Dance like a gazelle and sing like a lark and keep your smile going strong.

Julia Sugarbaker

Julia Sugarbaker had an abundance of redeeming qualities. And empowered a generation of young woman, during a time when women were trying to find their way in the workplace alongside men. Dixie Carter’s Julia Sugarbaker, taught us that a woman could be both feminine and successful in the business world, and she did it in style. All Southern charm on the outside, with nerves of steel on the inside.

Thank you Dixie Carter for Julia Sugarbaker. Rest in peace.

(I found this show to be extremely funny. My problem was that the producers Bloodworth-Thomas's, were so far liberal that they were about to fall off the face of this earth. And they treated their opinions as facts on this show.)

Saturday List

1. The average caterpillar has 2,000 muscles in its body. The average human, less than 700.
2. In their first year of life, puppies grow 10 times faster than human infants do.
3. Gorillas stick our their tongues when they're angry.
4. The heaviest dog on record was a St. Bernard that weighed 310 pounds.
5. Kitty litter: 3,000 out of every 3,001 calico kittens born are female.
6. A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon.
7. According to tradition, it's bad luck to say "MacBeth" in a theater.
8. The largest painting on earth is a 72,437 square~foot smiley face.
9. More collect calls are made on Father's Day than on any other day of the year.
10. At this moment, nearly 2,000 thunderstorms are taking place around the world.
    

Attitude

So....a man turns middle age. What does he get for his midlife? He gets a snazzy, sexy, fast, little two-seater convertible. What did I get for my midlife? Hot flashes, 40 extra pounds, facial hair, flabby arms and a pissy attitude. Men always have it easier...it's just not fair.

I also needed to get STRONGER cheater glasses. You know the ones. They sit on the end of our noses and make us crook our necks at an odd angle to see over them because heaven forbid we take them off! They might get lost and we would never see anything closer than five feet again!
And don't tell anyone, but I find myself saying "what?" "what did you say?" "can you turn up the TV please?" I will probably need a hearing aid before too long.
WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! I AM OLD! There, I said it. Do I feel better? LetmethinkaboutthatrealquickNO!

So....besides all the crap that I normally whine about, I've discovered one more thing to tick me off. Ready for this?

I was flossing and looking in the bathroom mirror the other day when I saw some "fluff" on my cheek, so I tried to brush it off. "Tried" is the key word here, because, lo and behold...it wouldn't brush off, so I tried again. No luck. I leaned in toward the mirror, peered a little closer and saw.....FACIAL HAIR. ON MY FACE. BLOND, FLUFFY, FACIAL HAIR. I look like a wombat!

Just add this to my list of age-induced insults....droopy eyelids, saggy arms, droopy butt, reading glasses, lip lines, eye wrinkles, gray hair, the inability to cough without--well, you know, hot flashes, plus the 50 extra pounds that my body has decided to retain. What the hell?
Dignity, dignity, where fore art thou, dignity?

Today, while spray painting a wire stand to "re-purpose" I was dutifully making vigorous sweeping motions with the spray paint can. I had a good rhythm going and was making great progress, when suddenly...and I want to shed copious amounts of tears when I say this....I (gulp), noticed (gasp), MY UPPER ARM WAVING AT ME!!! (waaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!) IS NOTHING SACRED ANYMORE?? HAS NO PART OF MY BODY BEEN LEFT UNSCATHED AND UNTOUCHED BY AGE??

Happy Blogoversary to Me.

Today marks my first full year of blogging. I started this blog just to learn something new. I continued it because it challenged me. Now after a year of blogging, living, learning, and growing, I am about to post my 357th posting. Wow! I find I still have much to say, many things to laugh about and even more to learn. Since I live on the Wabash River I am considering a Live River Cam. Any one interested in that? It is really a very beautiful view and it changes every day. Also I wanted to thank my few loyal readers and my new friends (especially Bobby G.and AWB) Let’s just see what I do with this next year.

A New Leaf

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so beautiful on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.
I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.
Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 & 70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.
I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set.
They, too, will get old.
I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.
Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.
I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face.
So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.
As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore.
I've even earned the right to be wrong.
I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day if I feel like it.

My horoscope

Aquarius -

Be careful of advertising yourself as someone who is so strong and mentally competent that you’re capable of handling everything, Aquarius. Take note that the strongest mule on the trail usually ends up carrying the most weight. Your emotions are more sensitive than you may think, and certainly more than you demonstrate to others. Be honest about the way you feel and not just the way you think.

HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM

1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

"Bubba,
Bertha, Duke, Slim, & I went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour.
Don't mess with the pit bulls; they attacked the mailman this morning and
messed him up bad. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell
from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house.
Better wait outside. Be right back.
Cooter"

Happy Easter

Rip-offs

If there is anything in this world I hate it is being ripped off. Now I am all for making a profit, after all I was in business for many years. But it is the out and out rip-offs that burn my butt.

1. Theater Popcorn… a mark up of 900%

2. Free Credit Report dot com… I decided to check my credit report and filled out the forms. I was a little upset when they charged me .99¢ but even more upset when the next month there was a $15.00 charge on my debit card. When you charge money despite the word “free” being in your corporate name, it’s tough to argue that your service isn’t a rip-off to consumers.

3. Premium gasoline…For whatever reason, many people believe that filling up with premium grade gasoline is somehow “better” for their car, or even that it “cleans out the engine.” Others actually believe that it is essential to put premium gas in their car and that it will malfunction if you try to run it on anything less. For most drivers, nothing could be further from the truth. Just check your car’s owners manual. If you need to use premium gas for a legitimate, mechanical reason, it will be stated in the manual so many times that it will be impossible to miss. Luxury cars (like Cadillac's, for example) often require premium gas because their high performance engines require higher octane – that is, slower burning – fuel. But if your owners manual makes no mention of it, you are simply wasting money on each premium gallon you purchase.

4. Printer ink cartridges… they sell you a printer at a discounted price. then hit you with outrageous costs for ink refills. Each cartridge contains about the amount of in in a regular bic pen. Yep.. RIP OFF. I buy generic cartridges on line and get free shipping and fast delivery.

There are many more.. like dental floss.. get a load of how much they charge for that piece of string. My Dish network bill every month. I watch only about 20 channels but pay for 250. And they are grouped so I have to subscribe to that plan to get the stations I watch.

Just my opinion.

Quotes

Everything has its beauty but not everyone sees it.

A dead end is just a place to turn around

If logic tells you that life is a meaningless accident, don't give up on life. Give up on logic

"Happiness is a Warm Gun." ~ The Beatles

"If we were supposed to talk more than listen, we would have two mouths and one ear." -Mark Twain

"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity;an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty."~Winston S.Churchill

"Don't say the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first." ~ Mark Twain

"The true measure of man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good"

"Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly."

RIP Nancy

Estranged.... what does this word mean? Webster has the definition as a verb: alienate, disaffect, wean. To cause one to break a bond of affection or loyalty.

I have been estranged from family members from time to time in my life. Sometimes life is easier when not dealing with what would seem to be overwhelming issues. Better to put them on the back burner, and let it go until you feel ready to deal. My sister was one of those family members that I often needed to distance myself from. I loved her. During our last estrangement she died. Grief is a funny thing, though. It knows no estrangement. No matter who was right any chance of atonement was lost. My sister died this morning. We were estranged. I can only hope that she was at peace when she passed on. I hope she realized that I loved her even when I didn't like her. I hope that she knows that I am shedding tears of grief for her. I hope. Hope is all I have.

April Fools Day

An observance which takes place in many western countries every April 1, traditionally known as April Fools' Day or All Fools' Day. It's a day when humor reigns and harmless pranks, practical jokes, and hoaxes are sanctioned. Customary practices range from simple tricks played on friends, family, and coworkers to elaborate media hoaxes concocted for mass consumption.

The origins of April Fools' Day are obscure.

Notable April Fools' Day pranks and hoaxes:

One of the great media hoaxes of all time was perpetrated on April 1, 1957 by the BBC, which reported on its news program Panorama that Switzerland was experiencing a bumper spaghetti harvest that year thanks to favorable weather and the elimination of the dread "spaghetti weevil." Staged video footage showing happy peasants plucking strands of pasta from tall trees was so convincing that many viewers actually called the network to ask how they could grow their own.

Some of the best-known pranks in recent years were mounted by advertising agencies. In 1996, Taco Bell ran a full-page ad in the New York Times announcing it had purchased the Liberty Bell and would rename it the "Taco Liberty Bell." Burger King pulled off a similar prank in 1998, announcing the roll out of its Left-Handed Whopper supposedly designed so that condiments would drip from the right side of the burger rather than the left.

On the Internet hoaxes have become such standard fare that April Fools' Day is barely distinguishable from any other, though a few notable pranks stand out and tend to be re-posted year after year -- e.g., the 1996 announcement that every computer connected to the World Wide Web must be turned off for Internet Cleaning Day, a 24-hour period during which useless "flotsam and jetsam" are flushed from the system.