I think

-I have the best kids ever (but it's possible that I'm biased...no, probably not)
-Mondays suck
-that I punct.u.ate worse than the average bear
-I should work out more (or at all for that matter)
-and I would like to eat healthier too, but I'm too lazy (busy?)
-I need to get out more
-freshly cut grass smells nice
-flip-flops are the best
-Starbucks is laced with crack, and also too expensive
-smart is sexy
-it's getting to the point where I'm no fun anymore (I am sorry)
-I'm too worried about what other people think about me
-I amuse myself far more than I amuse anyone else
-it's time for bed!

Monday with Morgan

5 on Friday

1. I am _________ to a ridiculous extreme.

self reliant, stubborn.

2. I learn best through ________.

making my own mistakes and I prefer my mistakes remain private

3. I don’t like __________.

being judged, just because I am old doesn’t mean I am useless.

4. I pretend to be _________.

Thick skinned but I am really very sensitive, I am easily hurt and I cry way to easy but there is a good chance you will never know about it.

5. I care what people ___________.

Think of me, and I am annoyed that I do care.

Whiners

I know it sounds odd, but I've got to thank all the whiners out there in the world. I'd like to thank the people that look around themselves and see nothing but perpetual pain and woe, and feel it necessary to tell the rest of us. For some reason I must look like a psychologist, or the complaint department for the world's issues? I know this because you always find me, and I want to thank you for always knowing exactly what to say to brighten my day and ensure that I will never have any hope other than my own. Where ever I am you are there dear whiners, and this is for you.

While we're standing in line at the coffee shop and the kids are a little busy you tell me the world is going to hell because young adults these days just don't work as hard, and that they should know the change from your drink within seconds. While I smile and hope the poor kids don't get too flustered knowing that patience has gone out the window with the advent of the computer. All the while astonished at how they can say hello to people, remember the recipe for your double skim cafe mocha with light fat free whip and a shot of sugar free mint for the holidays, while calculating the change from a twenty for your three dollar and thirty seven cent drink, pouring coffee and heating milk all at the same time.

You tell me the world has gotten so rude and you can’t account for it; as you cut off the guy before you to make it to work just five minutes late instead of six after forgetting to thank the young lady that held the door open for you as you hustled into and out of the coffee shop thinking that you could get a drink that takes two minutes to make in thirty seconds if only no one was in line before you and they had everything out and ready. They should have known you were coming.

You tell me your plight while standing in line at the grocery store, being sure to inform me that things have gotten so expensive that not a soul in the world could keep up with the rising prices while you buy the most expensive brand of everything. While I stand behind you with a cart just as full of groceries knowing I'll pay one hundred dollars less because my shampoo doesn’t give you an orgasm and my water comes from a tap.

You tell me the world is ending because of fuel consumption, our economy will fail because of the cost and the US is sure to choke on it's oil addiction as you pull up next to me in your high performance eight cylinder Benz complaining about your wife's SUV. I smile as I drive off in my sedan that gets twice the gas mileage with fuel thirty cents less a gallon.

The day is too wet, too hot, too cold, too dry, too sunny and too gray for you.

The lakes are down or the water table is too high and threatening to flood the basement; besides the water is too polluted.

You tell me that college is too expensive to keep the American dream alive. While your children take out loans to pay for the same thing your Father worked so hard in order to give you.

You tell me houses are too expensive, retirement is too far off with the cost of living and social security won't exist as you drive off in a forty thousand dollar car to your Sycamore Hills bungalow with two thousand square feet worth one point five million. While I drive home in a thousand dollar car to a two thousand square foot house worth about a tenth as much.

You tell me the roads are hell, but you can't stand construction.

You tell me that being from a small town means I am less intelligent, less developed and less refined. While I, being from a small town, wouldn't sit at a table with you and your children if my life depended on it because of your manners, mind and chosen topics.

You tell me that marriage cannot survive in our society because of constant temptation and the stress of running a family. That marriage is an outdated institution and that humans were just not meant for it. While I smile knowing that you're simply compensating for the seven year itch you just scratched or are planning to in the near future.

You tell me the government is corrupt, politicians lie and that our society is doomed. While I smile and wonder what has changed in five thousand years.
You tell me your difficulties are greater than any, and never felt by any before you. That the world is a mess and can never be fixed. That the world should give up and share in your grief. I listened to my Grand-parents about the Depression, my Father about WWII and my Mother about making ends meet in a one income home, all the while knowing that we are the fortunate and the world is ours for the making and the taking as long as we fight for it.

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone of you for giving it the old college try in killing the world's collective spirits and dragging down everyone's mood around you. You truly are a wonder to breathe with your head that far up your a$$ and standing in such a large puddle of tears.

End of my rant. Thanks for reading.

Retire

It’s probably bad for me. I should stop all this blogging stuff, and settle down to a nice, safe retirement. I must stop taking risks and getting impassioned about things in case I look ridiculous. I must not spend money in the hopes of making money. I must accept that as a woman past 65, I am - well - wrinkly and nearly dead.

Oh, must I? And who said? I resent the suggestion that I am intent on getting old disgracefully. I was never physically graceful in the first place, having been, all my life, at best a big tall woman. And why is it disgraceful to want to continue living as I always have? Does some kind of switch go off when you hit 60 that causes all the interesting urges you have to become somehow embarrassing?

I must stress, this is not about my family and friends. They are wonderful. They know and accept me as I am, encourage me to enjoy myself - even aid and abet me in doing dangerous things!

People in stores are inclined to call me ‘mam’ or ‘hun’ and speak to me in a somewhat odd tone. Someone even said, ‘Bless’ about something I said recently. They were not aware of how close they were to a white trash fit. I was so angry I couldn’t move for fear of getting arrested for assault.

Then there is the media version of how older people should be perceived. We are a drag on resources, not producing anything to go into the economic pot, and are costing more and more each year as the percentage of retirees in the population at large grows. Little attention is paid to how many grandparents are doing the main caring, and contributing financially to the education of their grandchildren while their adult children work all hours to develop and succeed in their chosen careers. Small mention is made of the number of retirees who are the main care givers for their own, very aged, parents and family, or even their partner. And it is seldom mentioned in the media that the major charities are practically dependant upon the services of post-retirement volunteers, who run charity shops, raise sponsorship and generally spend a lot of their time supporting them.

My generation, the post war babies did not fight in the war . But we did work for many years, paying all the time in one way nor another towards our pension. And now we are reaping the reward - the anger of the media and the resentment of those who are just entering employment with the knowledge that they will have to save for their own retirement. It isn’t as though my generation didn’t save. I never felt that owning stuff was my right! I’m not complaining that people have too much - I think it’s great. But a lot of how it is now, with everyone having more things than I could ever have believed possible, is because my generation worked like mad to make it happen.

So I’m not subsiding into silence in my little home. . I’m not repentant, nor embarrassed about being retired and enjoying myself. The future is such an exciting place, and for a lot more years yet I’m going to live in it.

7

Seven things I cannot do:
1. Lose weight
2. Not be obsessive
3. Learn not to fret about things that I cannot change
4. Find my book on Historic Homes of Huntington county - there's the obsessive part of me rearing it's ugly head
5. Speak Spanish
6. Deal with stupid people
7. Deal with selfishness

Cabin Fever

Well, like the song says, the weather outside is frightful. This winter has been so nice up to this point and now it is somewhat unpredictable. January is a strange weather month. We can have warm, then rain, then a sudden snow storm all with in a few hours of each other. With all this weather cabin fever can become a problem for some folks. It comes from being cooped up inside too long. The weather gets a little cold and we have the tendency to hold up inside. We become more sedentary. Which leads to us becoming irritable, more stressed and even sad and depressed. Even though we know spring is on the way, we have to deal with winter first. There are several ways to deal with cabin fever. You can go outside. Visit the mall. Turn off the news, stop being bombarded with constant negative news. Act happy till you actually feel happy. Don’t sit around doing nothing. Do something creative. I have started a pretty big project. I have 5 gorgeous grandchildren. I am making each one a crocheted baby blanket. One for each of their first born children. I have written a letter to include and will be putting these away for them. So even if I am not physically here I will be with them in spirit to share in their happiness.

Coma

Do you ever think about what it would be like to have lived 100-150 years ago and then gone into a coma where you don't age at all and then wake up tomorrow. How mind-blowing would all the "advancements" be? Women wearing pants and working, all kids going to school (many starting before they are even out of diapers), cars, technology, indoor plumbing, television, people talking on these little gadgets and listening to music, wow has the music changed! Sorry. I kind went off on a rant there, didn't I? Anything you want to add?

5 On Friday

1. Stop swearing in the car.

2. Stop shouting at other drivers.

3. Say something nice to at least one person per day, and actually mean it.

4. Stop worrying about stuff like the state of the house/bedrooms/garden/yard.

5. Chill out and stop stressing about points 1-4.

Oh Paula

Well once again society is rewarding bad behavior.. The Queen of butter has announced she has Type 2 Diabetes. And she has allegedly signed a deal with a diabetes drug company.

Chef Anthony Bourdain has openly criticized her, and is catching all sorts of h e double hockey sticks for it. Paula said he should “get a life”

Oh and she has had this for the last 3 years, and she has been working with the drug company all "hush hush" like, so she could come out as a Diabetic, who pushes their meds. Is it called having an ulterior motive?

I thought Diabetes was about carbohydrates, not fat or even calories..... I could eat 5 sticks of deep fried butter and it would barely affect my blood sugar. I am not saying her recipes can't be re worked to lower the fat/calorie content.

Yep, you can practically cut the tension between Paula and Anthony with a butter knife.

Its all in the wiring

Today I talked to an old friend. I have not seen her in years. I got a Christmas letter from her and when I sent out my cards I simply wrote, I will call you some time and we can catch up. Well today was sometime.

She answered and I identified my self and said.. “How are you?” and for the next 30 or so minutes she told me. In.Great.Detail.for.30.minutes. OMG. I know what pills she takes, what time she takes them, what she takes them with, where she buys them, how much her co pay is, and on and on and on. I don’t mean to sound mean but when I said catch up I meant on each others lives, not aches and pains. You know, where are your kids, how many grandkids etc. That sort of catching up. It’s not that I don’t care, but it is just not the way I am wired.

Logic

A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6."

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"

He replied, "They had eggs."

(I'm sure you're going back to read it again!)

5 regrets

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Spin

So gas prices are on the rise again. They were holding pretty steady at just over $3/gallon in these parts. $3/gallon--can you believe that? I remember when I was first driving, prices were under a $1/gallon. I'm absolutely certain that I've paid less than a dollar per gallon for gas since I've been driving. I can remember filling up circa 1960+ for $.299/gal. That wasn't that long ago--not long enough to justify a $3+ dollar increase. But I digress. So, as I was saying, gas prices are on the rise again--bitch, bitch, moan, moan, grumble, grumble. Who the hell wants to pay over $3.60/gallon for gas?!? Then comes the announcement: gas prices expected to reach $5/gallon in the next few months, and, OMGosh, we're so lucky to only be paying $3.60 now! See, it's all about the spin.

5 on Friday…

1. What is your biggest time waster?

I would say television, I have a TV on 24/7. Yes I got in the very bad habit of watching TV in bed, and I like the fact that it covers up all the night time noises that would scare me, so I just leave it on.

2. What is your best use of time?

I am not very good at scheduling my time. I have learned though that since my COPD, I require much more time to do even the simplest things and that I have to prepare and plan ahead if I intend on going out and about.

3. What is your most challenging thing to do?

Without a doubt, climbing the stairs, those 13 steps get me every time. I go about half way and then sit and rest and catch my breath. This COPD sometimes kicks my butt and not in a good way.

4. What is your greatest accomplishment?

This is a hard question for me, I am so proud of my boys and what they have done with their lives, but that is their accomplishment and not mine. I guess I would say that just to have survived what I have been through is my greatest accomplishment.

5. What was your worst failure?

My two marriages. Since I am the common denominator I accept that the failure was mine. I also know that it was a matter of my survival to get out. Yes and I still feel I failed.

I am an appaholic

Ever since I got my Kindle Fire for Christmas I have become an appaholic. I have an app to listen to the radio, to check the weather, including forecasts and local color radar, check my email, even an app to track domestic and foreign flights. I would never consider paying extra to have a smart phone but I sure do love this little gadget. Besides my personal computer, this is the greatest piece of technology to touch my life, it keeps me updated and engaged. An App, which is short for application, is a program that operates inside my fire device. I can visit and update my blog, check my Facebook via an app, even send a tweet by tapping another app on this handy dandy app filled e-reader of mine. It is amazing how many apps are out there for everything. Every day Amazon offers a different app at no charge. They also offer tons of free apps. I am off now to play Angry Birds, such a frustrating game..

Stuff I remember that makes me old:

• Poodle Skirts
• Howdy Doody
• Indian test pattern on TV
• Pearl Drops Tooth Polish
• Wrestling’s Gorgeous George
• Eastern Airlines
• Nylon Stockings
  
• Texaco Gas Stations
• Braniff Airlines
• Smothers Brothers
• Black Jack Chewing Gum
• Frank Sinatra

6 Truths

1. You cannot stick your tongue out and look up at the ceiling at the same time, a physical impossibility.

2. All idiots, after reading #1, will try it.

3. And discover #1 is a lie.

4. You are smiling now because you are an idiot.

5. You soon will tell this to another idiot.

6. There is still a stupid smile on your face ...

I sincerely apologize about this but I'm an idiot and I needed company.

THANK YOU

Monday with Morgan and Aggie

5 on Friday

1. Do you anticipate 2012 being a better year for you?

I do not think it will necessarily be better, because the last year was very good to me, I think it will be as good as I make it.

2. What are you looking forward to in the New Year?

The thing I am looking forward to the most is a visit from my son. Over 7 years ago he moved to Queensland Australia. He plans on coming for a visit next month! I can’t wait!

3. What was the most challenging thing that you went thru last year?

I try to be a good person every day, and be mindful of what’s important in life. I joke that I only live in the moment anyway — I can hardly remember what happened yesterday, let alone last year!

4. What was the biggest thing that you learned last year?

That whatever it is I'm doing - however it is I decide to spend my time – it is the best that I can do. There is always another way or another road or another answer. But I cannot spend valuable life second guessing the decisions I've made. I must keep going and continue to learn to trust myself.

5. What brought you unexpected joy last year?

Wow, that is a hard one. I would have to say the success of my children and my grandchildren, it brings me such happiness to see them succeed. I am very proud of my family.

a few things

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? UGHH turn out the light

2. How much cash do you have on you? Somewhere in the neighborhood of $4.

3. What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR? Floor.

4. Favorite planet? Earth

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone? Cindy

6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone? My text tone is Angry Birds and my ring tone is Theme from Benny Hill.

7. What shirt are you wearing? Uh don’t actually have a shirt on.

8. Do you label yourself? Sure. Sometimes the labels are not very nice.

9. Name the brand of the shoes you’re currently wearing? Shoes? At home? Nope!

10. Bright or Dark Room? dim

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you? No idea.

12. What does your watch look like? never wear one.

13. What were you doing at midnight last night? Sleeping.

14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say? It was from Katie and she told me they were going out for sushi.

15. Where is your nearest 7-11? I have not seen one in years!

16. What’s a word that you say a lot? Damn.

17. Who told you he/she loved you last? Katie.

18. Last furry thing you touched? Aggie Morgan’s dog.

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days? Just Caffeine and my medical inhalers.

20. How many rolls of film do you need developed? Digital camera here!

21. Favorite age you have been so far? I like each year better than the last.

22. Your worst enemy? Myself

23. What is your current desktop picture? A picture I took a few Christmases back.

24. What was the last thing you said to someone? Good bye.

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be? I will take the money thank you.

26. Do you like someone? Yes I do I like almost everyone.

27. The last song you listened to? Darn if I know.

28. What time of day were you born? I’m not sure.

29. What’s your favorite number? 5.

30. Where did you live in 1997? I lived right here in paradise, and have for over 30 years.

31. Are you jealous of anyone? At times yes, but currently I cannot think of a soul.

32. Is anyone jealous of you? I doubt it.

33. Where were you when 9/11 happened? I was here at home and was glued to the tv for days. The saddest and scariest day ever.

34. What do you do when vending machines steal your money? Go to the front counter and get my money back.

35. Do you consider yourself kind? I think so.

36. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be? I do have a tattoo, I got it when I got divorced, it is 3 hot air balloons on my right shoulder, hehe shoulders don’t sag with age. Each balloon represents one of my boys.

37. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be? Spanish.

38. Would you move for the person you loved? No

39. Are you touchy feely? Not a lot.

40. What’s your life motto? Live and forgive then forget.

41. Name three things that you have on you at all times? My cell, and, well, my oxygen,and my rescue inhaler.

42. What’s your favorite town/city? This one.

43. What was the last thing you paid for with cash? A bottle of water

44. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it? Last year.

45. Can you change the oil on a car? No why would I want to do that when I have a grandson who does it for me.

46. Your first love: what is the last thing you heard about him/her? nothing

47. How far back do you know about your ancestry? great grands.

48. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy? Define fancy. mink coat lacy dress? If so then like Never.

49.Does anything hurt on your body right now? Nope I am very lucky to not have aches and pains.

50. Have you been burned by love? Oh yeah

Crappy Times

Let me say right away that I am thankful for my family and friends. I am also thankful that I enjoy hundreds of freedoms daily that others in this old world only dream about. Just so that you know I feel very blessed.

I recently read a post about being thankful for the people who help you through the rough times in life. I sort of made me stop and think about my crappy times. As much as I would like to hit the delete key and erase them out of my memory I can’t. But in some weird way I am thankful for them.

My rough times have shown me what I am made of and who I can count on. It has allowed me to gain empathy for others in that same situation. I think my crap time has contributed as much or maybe more than the good times I have had. At my ripe old age I have had a fair share of crappiness. That experience has taught me that I will get through it eventually, even though I know things will suck for a while. That is just the way it has to be. So here is to the crap in my life and to the good, as that old song says “ You can’t have one with out the other.”

Crone

crone (plural crones)

1. (obsolete) An old woman
2. an ugly evil-looking or frightening old woman; a hag

I’ll be having a birthday soon and decided to write down a few things I have learned.

I see women my age and older out and about, that look like they have had one procedure too many. I don’t love my sagging face and dark under eye circles any more than anyone else, but it is who I am and I have earned my wrinkles and my grey hair. I would rather be an old crone that look fake with big lips and no expression.

I have been young. Now it is someone else’s turn. I learned early how to take turns and to share. So take your turn.

I am learning to love this time of life. You know my life, my rules. I don't feel the need to spend time with unpleasant, negative or gossipy people. I don't feel the need to attend meetings, events or gatherings which I know in advance will prove unpleasant. I don't feel the need to wear clothing I find uncomfortable, for any reason, ever. I have dessert for breakfast. There are definite advantages to having put in my time.

So go ahead call me a crone I am a crone. I am a proud and happy crone.

Alternative Affirmations for the New Year...

1. As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I am in touch with my inner sociopath.

2. I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.

3. I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault.

4. In some cultures what I do would be considered normal.

5. My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of wisdom and judgment.

6. I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper, and complain.

7. When someone hurts me, I know that forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit, but not nearly as rewarding.

8. I am at one with my duality.

9. Blessed are the flexible, for they can tie themselves in knots.

10. I will strive to live each day as if it were my 50th birthday.

11. I honor and express all facets of my being, regardless of state and local laws.

12. Today I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than "I told you so!"

13. A scapegoat is almost as good as a solution.

14. Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day in my underwear. Instead, I will move my computer into the bedroom.

15. I will no longer waste my time reliving the past; I will spend it worrying about the future?

16. The complete lack of evidence is the surest proof that the conspiracy is working.

17. Before I criticize a man, I walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he's a mile away and barefoot.

(from an email)

Happy New Year

My Grown up Wishes for the New Year.

1. I want to live life joyfully, health, both emotional and physical health and strength to persevere even when I feel like I'm hitting a wall.

2. I want peace, peace from my past.

3. I want to have whatever tools it takes to keep in touch with family and friends.

4. I want to have Plenty Of Dark Chocolate: Who am I kidding? I wish for this all the time.

5. I need a reason and a way to step away from the computer for more than an hour at a time, so I can actually accomplish something.