When in doubt, shut your mouth.

 

There seems to be an increasing number of stupid things being said to people who are upset. Are you guilty of any of these offenses?  Often times you come upon a coworker, a friend, or a family member who is obviously upset. Perhaps you do not know what has caused this. Perhaps you do. Either way you do not know what to say. Let me tell you right now: When in doubt, shut your mouth.

Lets look at some examples.

You come upon a friend and they are clearly upset. They feel as though every step in life they take forward, they are pushed back two. They feel as though they are not getting anywhere, like they are trapped. What do you do?
Correct answer: Put your hand on their shoulder and tell them that things WILL get better. Perhaps talk about some future plans that she can look forward to.
 Wrong answer: Say "Well, that is how life is. My whole life has been like that. You just gotta get used to it." This will only increase the feelings of hopelessness.

Your coworker is upset because they are stressing out about working with the public school systems.
Correct answer:  Put your hand on their shoulder.  Perhaps a small squeeze.  If you must say something, say "I understand and I know you will get through it."
Wrong answer:  Say "And this is only the beginning!"
 
Someone comes to you for help.  They have tried their hardest, but still cannot solve the problem.
Correct answer:  Say "Come sit down.  We will work through this together."
Wrong answer:  Say "You are a smart girl, you can figure it out."
In conclusion:  When in doubt, close your mouth!
 
This was adapted from an email, I thought it was very good advise.