Friday, June 19, 2009

Confessions


I have a few dirty little secrets so I thought I would get them off my chest on my blog. Because we know no one reads it anyhow. They are mostly embarrassing but what the heck.

1. I can’t spell. No I really can’t spell. I will write a word and the more I look at it the more unsure I am that it is the correct word and spelled correctly. I have spell check but that don’t always work.

2. I once stole something. I was a kid and it was a cheap plastic whistle. I had to return it to the store and confess to Mr. Baker the store owner. Mr. Baker was a scary looking man as he had a port wine birth mark all over one side of his face. He was very nice and forgave me gave me a “talk” about being honest. I was never comfortable in that store again.

3. I can’t do math. Calculators were invented for me. and to be honest I am not good at using them either. I am a functioning math illiterate.

4. I never pump my own gas. It is not that I am lazy, but that the odor of the gas really causes me breathing problems. So I am one of Marv’s old ladies. And when I go down I am one of the lucky ones that they pump gas for. As a bonus my grandson works there and I get to visit with him.

5. I cuss like a sailor sometimes. I am not proud of that and I am working on it.

6. Any time I get a new camera, coffee maker, computer, TV etc. I NEVER read the book. It drives some people crazy (you know who you are).

7. I am a semi-reformed whiner. No other comment necessary.

8. I immediately leave any website that has automatic music. Your taste is not my taste.

9. I snore, not a gentle tiny cute snore but a loud honkin wake up the dead snore.. No wimpy snore for me.

10. I have been homeless.

2 comments:

Bob G. said...

MSN:

In response to your ten items:

1- I can spell fine, typos excluded (was offered a chance to go to some state BEE when I was a kid), but today, Webster's is my "co-pilot".

2- Everyone has stolen something, even myself, and that's why I became so good at LOSS PREVENTION in later years...in order to KNOW a thief, you have to "think" like one.

3- As long as math isn't in the realm of ALgebra 2 or higher, I'm okie-dokie.

4- Always pump my own gas...it's a "man" thing.

5- I don't cuss like a sailor...just a LONGSHOREMAN.

6- I not only read the book...I keep them ALL in one easy place for reference...like the dictionary.

7- I don't whine...I piss, moan, bitch and gripe...it's an art form.

8- I look for the MUTE button...and if I can't find it, THEN I book.

9- I have a deviated septum (nose was broken as a teen), so I snore, but since I'm asleep, I never hear it. I just go with what wifey tells me.

10- Never been homeless, but I guess bivouac and camping doesn't count, right?

That was interestingly fun.

Thanks.

B.G.

Anonymous said...

This explains a few things about my husband! LOL, Deeda