Top Ten Worst Family Heirlooms

10. Open jar of mayonnaise.
9. Great-grandparents' bondage gear.
8. Toenail clippings.
7. Predisposition to public flatulence.
6. Grandpa's place on the couch.
5. Credit card debt.
4. Live hand grenade with missing pin.
3. Vintage roadkill collection.
2. Grandma's secret crystal meth recipe.
1. Autopsy photo album.