Asking for Help

Asking for Help who knew it was so hard to do

There are some days I struggle so hard to breathe that I have trouble doing just the ordinary normal everyday things. So the solution would be to ask for help, well in theory that sounds like a really good and easy solution, Then why do I have such a problem with it?? I suppose there are many reasons. I get so caught up in taking care of myself I sometimes don’t think or want to ask. It somehow seems a form of weakness, when in fact is also could be seen as a sign of strength as it shows that I know what I can and can’t do, and that I am planning how to get it done anyhow. But some how it still feels like I am opening myself up and making myself vulnerable. I waste so much energy agonizing over such simple things. When all I have to do is open my mouth and ask. Which brings me to another of my problems with asking. I don't want to impose on my family and friends. I try to ask in way that gives them an out. But I find almost every one likes to be helpful and so maybe I am doing them a favor? The next reason I really have a hard time with is that I have always been very self-sufficient. So I am trying to change my focus to more self care. And do what is best for me. That is very hard for me. Because it may not get done right if I don't do it my self. What a crock. I hate to admit that I even think this way. It is the surrendering control part that upsets me so very much. Ok now here is my big reason, I will look as tho I am incompetent. and we all know that the next step is the “home” So for today I am going to view the act of asking for help as one of hope and optimism and not misery and despair.