Poor Me

Some times I get so busy thinking about my troubles that I forget about my blessings.

I find myself comparing my life to others. I feel left out, cheated and even rejected. I was playing the “poor me” game. I think this is a learned behavior. When I was a kid all I ever heard was how I never was good enough, never pretty enough, smart enough, quick enough, thin enough, fat enough, I did not do the dishes right, clean house right, watch my sister right. And because of this negativity I was a guilt sponge. It even went so far that I felt shame that I could not please my parents, now I know that it did not matter, there was nothing that would please them ever. They were not bad parents, they always did what they thought was right, I believe they did their best, but my childhood is missing the warm fuzzy feelings that most of you have. I thought I would get over it, grow out of it or at best learn to accept it. Not so. It still hurts very much. What a total waste of my time. I am learning how to be more positive and to count my blessings instead of adding up my troubles. My boys and their wives and families are my greatest blessings. I am blessed to have many good friends. I have a nice home, my bills are paid and I have more than enough food. I also have the blessing of contentment. I have learned to look around me and let the happiness and joy of others to bring me joy and happiness.

I have many, some big and some small but all blessings just the same.