Precious

I finally figured out a way to get myself out of having to tell a small fib..you know the kind that you feel bad about...such as, "Do you like my hair?" or "Here's a picture of my baby girl, Precious Poopsie". From now on, my answer will always be something like, "Ain't it precious?" or "She's so precious?" I'm not much up on the southern slang but I figure if I can add just a slight twang to it, it will sound believable. So, today, I vow that when someone asks if I tasted their new fangled concoction that tasted like hay, I will say, "I sure did and it sure was precious!" Even one better, when I really want to make it sound believable, I'm going to add the word "SO" to it. For example, "Didn't you notice? I got a boob job?" My answer, "That's SO precious!"
But while I'm on the subject, have you ever been straight out honest and told someone the truth? Like, for instance, they tried out a new recipe on you and your response was, "This is crap! I can't eat this!!!" I just can't bring myself to do that.
One time, the very first time I had dinner with my in laws, now outlaws since they are my ex's parents....his mom served green bean casserole. Lord, I hate Green bean casserole . It tastes like cow poop on a stick!!! Anyway, instead of me telling her that I hated it, she fixed my plate full of them little manure patties. So, I ate them. I didn't chew them. I swallowed them. Whole!!! My throat hurt for two days after that. Ewwwwww!!!!!!!!
The moral of the story is that when it comes down to hurting someone's feelings, always head towards the "Ain't it precious?" statement but when it comes to eating manure like vegetables, be honest! Hell naw, I'm not eating green bean casserole! I'd rather eat toe jam fresh from the bottom of a boy's locker room!!!