Am I lost?

I don’t feel like talking to people anymore. Or maybe I have run out of topics. Maybe people also don’t find much to talk with me.

I’ve become boring.

I’ve become one-dimensional. I don’t believe I should do what everyone else is doing. I’m running out of options and independent thoughts.

I have my focus, yet I am losing focus. And strangely there is a lack of an objective of what to focus on.

I am not able to follow my head or my heart. I’m hanging somewhere in between.

I know what I can do. I know I don’t even have an inkling what all I can achieve. I feel as though I am cutting myself off from the world.

I’m not in a negative mood. Trust me when I say that. I’m positive.

I’m too engrossed in thinking all I can’t do at times that I forget I can also do something.

It’s not an adolescent rant. I’m way past that. It’s more of an adult child speaking where I’ve suddenly lost myself, where I suddenly find confusion.

I know who I am. Few people do. My fault is I don’t know when to come out of the shell.

My life has been a painful journey.

I feel lonely some of the time. And yet sometime my solitude is bliss.

I have dreams of my own which I share with no one. I’d love to fulfill them. But then they require lots of energy, and I haven’t had much energy lately.

I feel I’m a letdown at times, both to myself and to my family.

I used to be a joker at times. Even now I am one, but in a different way. I’d love to be one for life.

And I feel I’m lost …