Am I ok?

I have learned a lot about myself. What I need to survive, subsist on and move forward. I have learned that free will is available to all human beings and well, free calories are not, but that is a different story. Everyone is capable of making their own decisions and choosing their own destiny.

I have learned that is OK, even necessary, to NOT be your mother.

Many women struggle with that fact. Many women know right off the bat that they do NOT want to be their mother. Some women idolize their mothers and spend their entire lives trying to just achieve a minimal sense of what presence their mothers held in other people's lives. I had been never been torn this way, and am finally secure in thinking, it's OK to NOT grow up and reflect the person that gave birth to me. I am who I am, and I have taken what I can from my family, but they are not who I am now.

I left home when I was 18. . I wasn't a wild child, even having been held back and under strict rule as a teenager, but an adult fully aware of her surroundings and unaware of the possibility around her.

My Mother has a lack of direction and gives off a feeling of impending doom. She was a stay at home mother and never really held a job in her life.

I learned to put my best face forward and expect the best.

My mother is stubborn and head strong and selfish. She will not accept change that makes life easier such as use a microwave; she will not make any effort to learn and to better herself. She lives in the past and is very bitter.

I will NOT be like my mother.