For some reason I have pictured my self as a victim (of abuse and traumatic life experiences.) I have spent many years feeling broken. For a long time I could not trust or believe in people. Some days I wondered how could I ever continue to live in such pain. I kept hoping it would someday just disappear or fade away. But that is just not how it works. I needed to take the time to deal with things in order to continue to live and not be destroyed.
I would walk around with a smile but inside I was dead. I learned to hide it well. I was denying my self the right to grow and blossom. When I focused on the negative thing they grew and festered with in me. All I knew was I was a broken negative person.
One day I started focusing on the many things that are good about me. And I have always known I am a good person, I have a good giving heart, and will do most anything to help someone. I am always for the underdog and always have words of encouragement for everyone but myself.
Now I view myself in a healthy positive light and I expect to have beautiful thoughts and experiences coming my way.
All abuse did was make me stronger.
1 comment:
MSN:
Many would say we ALL have a "dark" side, and depending on how much "breathing room" we allow it in our lives, deternmines the extent of the "bad" we can exhibit to ourselves and to others.
Not trusting people IS human nature.
When people (time and again) PROVE to you that they are UNtrustworthy, you tend to remember things like that.
I let other people tell and show ME who they are and what they're made of...saves me a lot of hassle from always giving them the "benefit of the doubt" and getting myself hurt along the way.
It's not on ME...it's on THEM.
And THAT, will make you a stronger person.
ALso, remember that every one of us will ALWAYS be "our own worst critic", so when we can accept that, life gets a bit easier to deal with.
I know THAT neighborhood all too well...lol.
Our weaknesses are part of who we are, just as our strengths are.
Our bad side has to live WITH our good side, too.
The more we strive FOR that balance, the clearer we see, and the more enlightened we become.
But damn, I wish I could have learned all this when I was like...TEN YEARS OLD...woulda saved a LOT of problems!!!
Good post, dear.
:)
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