Swine Flu

There is now an epigdemic of jokes out there about the Swine Flu, which is not a funny subject by itself. (I am ashamed)

I will give you my list of popular Swine Flu Movie remakes.

1. Swinedler’s List

2. Pig trouble in Little Mexico

3. Silence of the Hogs

4. In Ham’s Way

5. Babe: Death in the City

6. Swiney Hog, Demon Butcher of Fleet Street

7. Memoirs of a Butcher

8. Snout of Africa

And of course they all star Kevin Bacon.

Then there are the jokes

Swine Fever is a song by Piggy Lee

I had a bad day yesterday; I made a pig's ear of everything I tried

I think I have the swine flu. I have the sudden urge to eat bacon

I think I have swine flu: I've broken out in rashers

Will there be a mass outbreak of Human/Avian Swine flu? When pigs fly…

For a normal flu, we say "achoo", but for swine flu we say "achoink"

What is the difference between Bird Flu and Swine Flu?
For bird flu you need tweetment and for swine flu you need oinkment.

If you receive an email from the Department of Health telling you not to eat tinned pork because of swine flu - ignore it.
It's just spam.

Please no angry comments I know how terrible this flu can be. I just happen to have a sense of humor. I have more but this is a G Rated blog.

And there they are with no apology and with a straight face. Enjoy!

Aggravation

I subscribe to one of the well known satellite TV Companies. (D**hN**W**K) I have been with this one for a little over one year. Ever since I have had their service, my one HD box, (it is a dual receiver box and works my downstairs tv and the one in my bedroom) would lock up at least once or twice a week and need a cold reset, which involves turning it off and waiting a couple minutes, then turning it back on. Simple… I think not. Once it is back on it must search for the satellites and then download the viewing schedule. This takes about 10 minutes and involves me going down stairs and then back up again, which takes a long time, as I must stop and rest.(Remember I am on oxygen) So you can see it is not an easy thing for me to do. Yesterday it went nuts, it sent a message that my smart card was inserted improperly, it had not been touched and I know this because I live happily alone. Then I tried to make a phone call and I have an open line. So I call the phone company (Verizon) on my cell phone and they say “sure we will come and check it out for $70.00” After a quick never mind. I called my middle son; he showed up after work and by process of elimination found it to be the HD satellite box phone line. Yesterday I called and was put through to a very arrogant tech.

I told him the problem I also told him the message on the screen. And it went down hill from there. I again tried to explain that no one messed with any thing. Then I got mad, now I may be old, and I may be disabled but I am not stupid and he was treating me as tho I was. I hate being talked down too. I very calmly told him to knock that off in those exact words. I hate how some people treat women and/or seniors. Some day (if they are lucky enough to survive) they will be in my shoes. Any how he gave me a couple of tests to run on the system and told me to call back. Ran the tests called back and got a very nice Philippine gal named Penelope. The first tech had made no notes in my file. So go through the whole thing again. After quite a few minutes she tells me she will send me a replacement receiver, and all I have to pay is $14.99 to cover the postage. I said, “ Your equipment fails and I am to pay postage to replace it?” hmmm “ I don’t think so” she asks me to hold while she makes a call and comes back and says “ As a courtesy we will send this postage paid and include a postage paid return label.” It is to arrive in 3 to 5 days. And for this aggravation I pay $81.00 per month each and every month on time. Do you see a new provider in my future?

Jon and Kate

A few thoughts on Jon and Kate.

My life is now divided into 2 periods: before I knew about Jon and Kate and after I knew. I have been reading articles and watching videos of them all day. I am trying to figure out which is more disturbing watching Farrah Fawcett’s last days or watching Jon and Kate’s marriage disintegrate. I have always watched this show. The kids are so cute and loud. I am really pulling for them and so I have a couple solutions for them. They could sell off 4 of the least attractive kids and take the money and buy Apple stock. The new iPhone is gonna be big. They could put the kids to work making Nikes in a Bangladeshi sweat shop. Their show is child exploitation at a whole new level. It is no longer their daily life it is them dragging the kids to the museum, light house, Lego land, etc. One day these children are going to question all this. I do believe the kids are loved. My final solution would be a slight change in the show’s format. Make it more like Survivor. Each week the audience gets to vote one kid off the show there by saving them from this train wreck of a show. Poor Jon and Kate are not doing so great.

I have always loved house plants.

But did you know that houseplants are actually healthy for you? Houseplants are often-overlooked helpers in cleaning (Clean air is a necessity for COPD sufferers) the air of pollutants and toxins, counteracting out gassing and contributing to balanced internal humidity.

NASA found over 300 compounds being released into the air on one of their flights and began testing houseplants for their power to absorb pollutants. Not only do house plants convert carbon dioxide into oxygen, but many are super air "cleaners". For instance, Philodendrons, Spider Plants and Pathos are expert at filtering formaldehyde from the air released through "off gassing." This compound is found in paints, cushions, fabrics, even shampoos. Many construction materials contain formaldehyde. The toxic FEMA trailers of NOLA come to mind.

Gerber Daisies and Chrysanthemums are experts at absorbing benzene, a known carcinogen, found in plastics, synthetic rubber and dyes. There is a lot of information on the web about plants and their ability to help clean our air, and the ones to avoid if you have animals or small children.

Here are some common toxic plants Asparagus fern, Geranium, Chrysanthemum, Dieffenbachia, Easter lily, and the Weeping fig.

They also will live a long time with a little love and tenderness. I have a Christmas cactus that was given me years ago. It still blooms.

So do yourself and favor and surround yourself with as many plants as possible. Not only are they aesthetic, but healthy too.

No Call List

I am sick and tired of getting computer generated phone calls.You know the ones, press 9 to get our exciting offer. So I sat down one day last week and sent the following email to my state attorney general, also here is the reply I got with in minutes. I try not to be "that crabby old woman" and I try to be kind to the callers because I know they are only trying to earn a living. I always try to get to a live person explain that I am on the no call list and ask them to remove me from the calling list, I have been grunted at, sighed at, rudely hung up on, but never removed from the list. But I have had enough. No more "Ms Nice Old Woman"

MY LETTER to Indiana Atty General:

Sir:
First I want to say I am a disabled senior citizen of this state and have been for all of my life. That being said I assume you know I am on a fixed income and am responsible for my own bills. Which I pay in full each month.. One of which is my phone bill. I keep my phone for my use and my use only. I signed up to be on the no call list when it was first started.
My question to you is: Why am I getting phone calls trying to sell me every thing from health insurance, to a car warranty ( my car is 15 yrs old) a lower credit card rate ( I have NO credit cards). And the usual newspapers, state police and other annoying ones. I ask you how can this be? Just today while in the shower my phone rang. I answered it and it was some peppy sounding gal named Cindy wanting to sell me health insurance. I have no numbers to send you because I do not have caller id, why don't I you ask? Because it costs to much is why. (see second sentence) Is there any thing you can do about this? And if you are not the correct person to address this problem would you please forward it along to who ever is in charge of this No Call List..
Thank you in Advance for any help you can offer me.
Sincerely
Nk Reyxxxxx
123 My St.
Mytown In 46xxx.


The REPLY
Thank you for your email. Yes, it is our office that enforces the no call law; however there are people and groups out there that have chosen to break this law and unless we are told who they are we cannot find them. Telemarketers have found a way to get around the rules. Even if you had caller ID, many of them have the number blocked. If you do happen to talk to one and can get any information from them our office will be more than happy to try to do all we can.

Things to be Thankful for this Memorial Day

Today, I want to honor those who have served our country. My debt of gratitude can never be quite enough it seems. I also look forward to the day when war is no longer a reality in this world. We must always remember those that made/make our freedom possible... Too many take for granted the freedoms we have here in this country. Too many have not been there, done that, so they have no idea what is really going on. The media spins things in a way to make people believe what they are saying is true. It all about choice and everyone should be thankful for the choice men and woman make to serve our country. I have the freedom to be who I am and the freedom to be free and live free. I would like to Honor all who have and are currently serving all of us unconditionally. To those Men and Woman who are the chosen ones, on this Memorial Day I thank you for my Life and Freedom and I recognize your unconditional Honor. Memorial Day is more than just a day off to have the first picnic of the summer, go shopping and open the pool. Memorial Day initially began to honor Union soldiers who died in the Civil War. After World War 1, Memorial Day was expanded to honor men and women who died as casualties of war or military action.

Most towns have a parade on Memorial Day to remember those men and women who gave their lives for our freedom. The parades are beautiful and a very special time usually they only last an hour or two. Or if you know of someone who lost a loved one in war, go to the cemetery where they are laid to rest and place some flowers in their honor. It's just a small act. But their families will appreciate the gesture. Take a few minutes to think on Memorial Day. Fly your flag to remind you that this day is not about throwing the first summer picnic or opening your pool, but a day to honor those who have left us, and died fighting on our behalf. Every opportunity you have to think about what we have to be thankful for as Americans, you should take it! Memorial Day is once a year and it only takes a few minutes of your time to do something special. Memorial Day is more than just a three day holiday weekend.

Memorial Day is a day we honor those members of the military who have served and died in the service of our country. It is so hard to say, "Thank you", because I could go on and on and on and never have come up with the correct words, if there are any 'correct' words Thank you for the freedom you have given us which was not free. We shall remain ever vigilant in order to give our heirs that which you have given to us that was so costly. God bless you. God bless you. America seems to have lost her way. Now we kill babies, experiment on them, watch filth on TV, and there are so many murders everyday that it doesn't even faze most people. We have become paralyzed by the news. I pray that we could gather our strength and knowledge from God so we can have a chance at winning our current war.

I will end by asking this. Did you have to wait until they shot at you before you could shoot the enemy? No, I didn't think so. Thank you for not waiting!

Some of My Favorite Quotes

* Words that soak into your ears are whispered not yelled*

* Meanness doesn't just happen overnight*
* Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.*
* Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.*
* It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.*
* You cannot unsay a cruel word.*
* Every path has a few puddles.*
* When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.*
* The best sermons are lived, not preached.
* Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.*
* Don't judge folks by their relatives.*
* Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.*
* Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.*
* Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't bothering you none.*
* Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a Rain dance.*
* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.*
* Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.*
* The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.*
* Always drink upstream from the herd.*
* Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.*
* Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.*
* If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.*
* Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply.*

* Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.*

Do You Tweet?

I am on twitter and very seldom tweet. I find it funny that 1742 people follow me. I don’t even know that many people. Who are these people and why are they following me? In twitter land is it the more people you follow the better your rank in twitterville is? I only follow 39 carefully chosen people who give me information. Fox News, CNN, John McCain and friends and family members. I am not against twittering I just don’t seem to have that many interesting things to say. Somehow this not twittering is causing me stress, I signed up because I was told by people I know and respect that it would help grow my blog. I am not going to de-twitter myself, as I might tweet occasionally. I do love listening in on other people’s conversations. In a nutshell (or a Twitter-sized, 140-characters-or-less post) I like Twitter’s short, sweet flow of information. And the way it allows me to choose what information to follow. I do like it when some one tweets about something and includes a link to more information. Then if I want to learn more I can or I can book mark it for later. It seems to be a good way to share ideas and for self promotion. You can step in or out of a conversation when ever you want. In many ways I feel like I am back in grade school passing notes. I plan to hang in there and hope something interesting comes to my mind to tweet about.

Stuff, Why do I have so much of it?

I have so much stuff! I am not sure where it all came from but since I live alone it must all belong to me. (I am storing some stuff for my oldest son who moved to Australia and my youngest son who moved down the street) I have mixed feelings about stuff. I don’t like the throw away mentality we all seem to have any more. Just throw it away and buy another. . I think it’s most important to try to be selective with what we buy. Try to not bring all the stuff into existence. Try to think of ways to recycle the things we have. I don't know. Just thinking of the random stuff I've thrown away sitting in a landfill somewhere makes me sick sometimes. But, I do love that freeing feeling of getting rid of the old and unwanted. When I moved here 30 years ago I had 4 kids and a husband. One by one they have all left home. Including the husband. I now live alone in this big old 9 room house. Each time one of them left they took loads of stuff. I have had a couple garage sales and gotten rid of more stuff. I sometimes feel like dragging out what is left and having a huge fire. I have so much stuff. Drawers of stuff. I have one full of wires, connecters, cables, adapters, and phone cords. I have no idea what most of them are for and yet I am incapable of throwing them away. I may need them some day. Some things I hang on to because I associate them with a good memory. But if I toss the item out I will still have the memory. So I really don’t need it to remind me. And yet I hang on to stuff. So I guess I will save and collect and hoard and when I die someone else will have to go thru all this stuff and throw it away.

Farrah

Is there anyone who doesn't love Farrah Fawcett? For anyone who lived during 1976 and watched her in her iconic role as Jill Monroe in "Charlie's Angels", she left the show after just one year although she returned for several guest appearances. I got the impression that she was just as lovely in real life as the part she portrayed in the TV series. She made some errors in judgment, however, and her career never really took off. She was always known for that role, and "The Poster." Farrah wasn't your average pinup girl — she was THE pinup girl. The poster of Farrah in her one-piece red bathing suit, her left arm resting on her leg, a smile that could light up a room, was hanging in every boy’s room in the country. In "Charlie's Angels" Farrah always beat the "bad guys" without ever mussing her famous "Farrah" locks. OH that hair — thick, blond, bouncy and, it was a star on its own. Now she is doing battle with a foe that it would appear she cannot beat, and she has tackled it with the same grace and dignity with which she has lived her life. She has made a film of her journey, and I watched the documentary of Farrah's well-fought battle on TV last night. I hope everyone will say a prayer for her and wish her God speed.

Kate's Hair

Dear Kate, please fire your hairdresser.

Do you know who Kate Gosselin is? She is the wife and mother on Jon and Kate plus 8 on TLC. Kate is a very attractive fit looking woman who has given birth to a set of twins and sextuplets. There is a lot of gossip out there now about Jon having an affair, about Kate having an affair. How convenient that they have another book out. Nothing like a media storm to sell books! Personally I hope all the gossip is wrong and they keep their family together. But I want to talk about her hair. I am kinda scared of it. It is sort of a reverse mullet; it is spikey on top, on the right, and in the back and then a long swoop of bangs that take over the entire left side of her face. Oh, and add some chunky blonde streaks in there too. The crown sticks up like chicken feathers. I am not sure what the back looks like but in my mind I picture a ducks butt. ? Seriously, she can afford better. I'm not a big fan of hair in your eyes. Kate's cut is very retro, you are all too young to remember it. Its Sassoon baby. We wore scary hair like that in 1968. I have been struggling with that hair style for months now but couldn't find the words. Just that Kate’s hair is downright terrifying. I think Kate is still in a personality quandry.trying to be perfect in an imperfect world, hence the hair. I feel for her...and her hair. The scary thing about Kate's hair is that I have seen several other people with it lately.....she may be starting the new Dorothy Hammel or Jennifer Aniston trend. Lets give poor Kate give her a break she's had a litter of children. Her hair is her hair...and I'm sure she thinks it looks great!
I don't want to be mean, but maybe Kate's horrendous hairstyle is partly what's causing her marriage problems with Jon? I heard that she makes $75,000 for each show the family does, so how does she not have money to pay a stylist? Or doesn't anyone love her enough to tell her it's just not working out? I think that once she fixes her hair, her whole life will turn around. It makes me want to stab hot needles in my eyes.

A New Me

I really think that I need to stop treating myself so gently. We should all treat ourselves as breakable and beautiful, because we are. And I know that I need to take care of myself physically. As I sit here in front of my computer drinking my first cup of coffee, I think I have been treating my self gently but not treating myself well. I thought I was doing that by doing nothing at all. I have not been cooking, not going out, not participating in life outside my walls, while I sit on my ever expanding butt watching movie after movie, spending endless hours on the computer, and not doing myself any favors by doing so.

So I have made a bucket list!

1. Ride a roller coaster. Hmmm well in theory that is good but in reality it would probably kill me.

2. Finish my tattoo. Another one good in theory but I have since decided I am not into pain. It will remain unfinished.

3. Sing Karaoke. With Susan Boyle! Not likely, but anything can happen

4. Start drinking. I have never had a taste for alcohol but people look like they are having so much fun.

5. Play the lottery. I have never purchased the first ticket scratch off or drawing. I can’t win if I don’t play and I am due for a windfall.

6. Buy a Harley and join Hell’s Angels. Have always loved riding bikes but have never owned one. I would paint it pink and ride proud, with my oxygen tank strapped on the back.

7. Go on the road with the Blue Collar Comedy guys, Jeff Foxworthy, Larry the cable guy, Ron White (tater salad) and Bill Engvall.

8. Learn to play the guitar. It looks like fun and sounds awesome.

9. Win the Nobel Prize. Hey now, it is my list!

10. Have a sandwich named after me.

11. Skydive... haven't gotten around to it yet for some reason... oh yeah, heights scare the ever living crap out of me.

12. Ride on a Mardi Gras float.

13. Feel comfortable in my own skin.

14. Find six (6) people I have wronged and make it right.

15. Plan and execute a bank heist. This would finance my goals.

Rain Rain Go AWAY

It is spring time and it is Indiana so I expect a few showers, well we have had an over abundance of rain this spring season. We have beautiful green grass, spring flowers and tiny little leaves coming on the maple trees in my yard.

The rain and accompanying humidity really messes up my breathing. I end up short of breath and as a result even walking takes all my energy and effort.

I turn into the best couch potato ever. I am really enjoying the old movies. Some in black and white. I owned a video store for years. I had over a thousand movies. So I have always had a love for films. (For the actors not so much.) When I got sick I was forced to close my store and I actually sold most of my inventory on ebay. Now in just the few years since I had my store the format has changed again. Things change, Times change. Weather changes and on we go. It may look like I am doing nothing but I am actively waiting for the rain to go away

So I got this letter……

I must really be close to dying. Today I got a letter from a local funeral home.

Complete with questionnaire and a postage paid return envelope. It tells me that the funeral industry is changing rapidly. (Should I hurry and die?) And I can help them by filling out this questionnaire and returning it to them. My answers will determine where they should focus their future time and resources. All my answers are confidential and because I fill out the survey, they offer me a free Personal Arrangement Guide. How lucky am I? Their questions are pretty straight forward. They want to know my age group, (I wrote in my age as OLD), my current employment status, (too old to work), if I have ever made arrangements for a loved one? (I have). Do I read the obits in the paper? (yes it is the only reason I get the paper) do I own cemetery property?, (actually I do with my first ex husband), do I want to donate my organs?, (not yet I kind of like to keep them for awhile), how much do I want to pay for my funeral?, (the sky is the limit I have lived cheap all my life I want to out in style), do I want my loved ones to have follow up care? OMG and on and on it goes. In my mind I can picture the funeral home employees quietly walking the halls of the local nursing homes waiting for work.

Now I know I am going to die. We all are. But I resent getting this crap in the mail.

I am a grown adult woman and if I want to prepay my funeral expenses I will do it.

Do not send me your crap because I sure as hell won’t use your services now. I find this sort of trolling for customers very insulting.

Oh and the last line is: "This questionnaire is a general mailing. Delivery to a grieving or convalescing family members is purely unintentional."

They forgot to include a tape measure so I could make sure I would fit.

The Stupid Test!

Here Is A Fun And Real Challenge!

OK. Pay close attention. Here is a very simple little test comprised of four easy question to determine the level of your intellect. See if you have what it takes to be considered smart
Your replies must be spontaneous and immediate, with no deliberating or wasting of time . and PLEASE no cheating!
On your mark, get set, GO!


1: You are competing in a race and overtake the runner in second place.
In which position are you now?


Answer: If you answered that you're now in first,
you're wrong!

You overtook the second runner and took his place, therefore you are now in second place.



For the next question try not to be so dim.

2: If you overtake the last runner, what position are you now in?

Answer: If you answered second to last, you are wrong once again.

Think about it...
How can you overtake the person who is last? If you're behind them, they can't be last.You would have been last.

It would appear that thinking is not one of your strong points.
Anyway, here's another question to try. Don't take any notes or use a calculator, and remember, your replies must be instantaneous.

3: Take 1000. Add 40. Add another 1000.
Add 30. 1000 again. Plus 20.
Plus 1000. And plus 10.
What is the total?


Answer: 5000?
Wrong again!



The correct answer is 4100.
Try again with good calculator.



Today is clearly not your day, although you should manage to get the last question right...



4: Marie's father has five daughters:
1. Chacha
2. Cheche
3. Chichi
4. Chocho
5. ?

Question: What is the fifth daughter's name?
Think quickly... you'll find the answer below..







Answer: Chuchu?
WRONG!

It's obviously Marie!
Read the question properly.




You are clearly the weakest link.
Now challenge your friends!

Mother's Day

Mother’s Day is celebrated to honor all mothers and express gratitude for the hardships they bear in bringing up a child.
But what if you don’t have that warm fuzzy feeling toward your Mother? What if she was cold and remote to you? Every year it is a chore to find that card that is bright and flowery and says nothing about loving Mothers, how close you are, what a good mother she was etc. I used to send flowers, but it was never acknowledged that they arrived and I was never given a thank you. To this day I am the one who keeps in touch, she sometimes calls on my birthday, if she remembers. What you did say? Dementia ? No she does not have dementia she remembers every thing, every freakin, little thing I have ever done wrong in my life, and nothing I did right. My mother is very angry and I am pretty sure now that it has nothing to do with me. I spent the biggest part of my life wanting her approval. It never came and now I realize it never will. Last year for her birthday my brother arranged for a birthday party for her. It was a very hot day in June. Two of my sons and their families went to see her. There were 9 of us. We drove 2 hours one way to visit with her. OMG she was happy to see us and even hugged me, seriously that is the only hug I EVER remember from her. But then it was back to usual. Nit picky things from her, showing her anger at the world. So mom, I give up. I tried and now I quit it is up to you. You know where I live and you have my phone number. Your card is in the mail. Mothers Day always makes me sad.

Friday List

I am

1. confident
2. stubborn
3. impatient
4. curious
5. thankful
6. giving
7. a good listener
8. happy
9. crafty
10. impulsive
11. loyal
12. competitive
13. a non smoker
14. a non drinker
15. laughs easily
16. old
17. fun
18. funny
19. upbeat
20. consistent
21. positive
22. lucky
23. cynical
24. adaptive
25. a thinker
26. resistant
27. fortunate
28. purposeful
29. playful
30. an optimist
31. accomplished
32. enthusiastic
33. smart
34. clever
35. shy
36. a redneck
    

A shot in the glass is better than a shot in the ass

I got this really cute email from a friend about how to avoid the flu. I think it makes perfect sense.

You must eat right plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables.

Make sure you take your vitamins, and bump up your vitamin C.

Get plenty of exercise because it helps to build your immune system.

Walk for at least a half hour a day.

Wash your hands often. If you can’t wash them keep a bottle of antibacterial stuff around.

Get lots of fresh air. Open your doors and windows whenever possible.

Eliminate as much stress from your life as you can.

Get plenty of rest!

OR….

You can take the doctors approach. Think about this..when you go for a shot what is the first thing they do?? Clean it with alcohol… Why because alcohol kills germs!

SO

Walk to the liquor store (exercise)

Put lime in my corona (fruit)

Celery in my bloody mary (veggie)

Drink outdoors on the patio (fresh air)

Tell jokes, laugh (eliminate stress)

Then pass out (rest)

The way I see it if you keep your alcohol level up flu germs can’t get you.

And my grandma always said a shot in the glass is better than a shot in the ass.

Ewww

It’s not you, it’s me. Really. Now would you just listen? Don’t get all pouty on me. Don’t go ducking into your little nest where I can’t see you. You know that freaks me out. Come out here and look at me when I’m talking to you. Dammit.

I know we’ve been living together for awhile now. OK, actually I didn’t know that until yesterday when I discovered your elaborate nest all throughout the mini-blinds. But obviously you are now well-established in my home. Unknown to me, we’ve shared some good times… I’ll admit it does comfort me to know that when I was rolling on the floor with laughter watching Two and a Half Men I was not alone. And all those times I had just a tiny drink… you were there! Surely you’ve enjoyed my penchant for not getting dressed and I hope you had fun watching me clean house. All in all, you’ve been a very reasonable housemate and I thank you for that.

But I’m going to have to ask you to leave. I know, I know… this catches you off guard. I know it’s a bad time for you, with the outside getting a little chilly at night. I’m sorry, I really am. But this has got to stop. Sure, I looked the other way when your little friends started coming over to stay. But when I would turn on the light in the middle of the night to find them sprawled on my kitchen floor… that’s just not cool. Maybe they’re fine upstanding spiders. Maybe they keep a clean web and don’t mean any harm. But I don’t know them. What if they start coming into my room at night?. I don’t even want to think about it. So I’ve had to put my foot down. Not literally. Don’t freak out on me, now. You know I wouldn’t do that. But I’ve been politely escorting them from the premises. For awhile I almost considered letting you stay. I don’t use the room
Argh. You men are all alike. (To be fair, I’m not really sure that you’re a male. But really, in my mind all spiders are male—even the ones lugging around the egg sacks. They’re just being helpful and taking the kids out to give the mythical female spider some time to herself.) I’d prefer if we can handle this like two civilized beings. Also, you are extremely large, and I’m not sure I could get you in the tupperware before you escaped into the fortress you have built for yourself. There is long list of things I would rather do than poke around in a spider nest for a huge spider.
I really hope that we can be friends after all this. Honestly. I care about you. (And I don’t want you sending your little friends around to harass me.) But friends don’t live in my mini-blinds. So please, you know where the door is. Just… go.

(This bad boy measures almost 4 inches and was caught by my son who lives in Australia. Is he brave or what?)

Depressing OMG

One thing about living alone, you have plenty of time to just think.

I had a friend read my blog the other evening, he was gone quite awhile and when he came back he said it was “depressing” Wow I was shocked, the last thing I consider my life to be is depressing. I have a health concern but I am living a very good life and I thought I was handling it well and was not complaining. I was shocked and a bit dumbfounded. I suppose the whole subject is a downer but gee folks my life is anything but sad and depressing. My goal on here was to give people some insight into living with a chronic illness. The last thing I want is any one to feel sorry for me. I was upset that it seemed to upset him. I am sure he has continued on and never given it a minutes more thought. And here I am still thinking about it and rethinking this whole blog thing. Maybe he had no clear idea of my struggles and challenges, and it was more of a shock to him. At any rate I do NOT consider my life to be depressing I am very happy with my life.. It is the best it has ever been.

If anyone has any comments I would be very happy to hear your take on my blog.

Be kind and be gentle I am new.