How to get a Live Person on the phone.

1. Press everything on your phone. You may be able to trick the system in to thinking you are on a rotary phone or it will think you are crazy. Either way you are in.

2. Mumble. If the system can’t understand you, it has no choice but to connect you with a live person.

3. Speak Nonsense. See above.

4. Do Nothing. They sense a rotary phone and Viola -- a human.

5. Speak Spanish. The Spanish option usually has a shorter wait time. And you will probably get a bilingual operator.

6. Select the Cancel Service Option. If a company thinks it’s going to lose you as a customer, someone may try to convince you otherwise in person.

7. Mention a Competitor. Systems sometimes monitor what you say while you are on hold. Who knew? If you name a competitor, some one may help you sooner.

8. Swear. Some systems put anyone using profanity at the front of the line. Again Who knew?

9. Plan your call time wisely. Avoid Monday, and call at an odd hour if you can.

10. Last but not least this is what I do. Press 0 repeatedly more times than not you will get a representative quickly.

I often wonder why, after I have put in all my information, like my phone number, my account number, my street address, etc. when I finally get a for real live person I have to repeat it to them...

And don’t even get me started about get a representative that CAN NOT speak understandable English. Yes Verizon I am talking to you. Yes Dish Network I am talking to you too. I try to be nice and I keep thinking they are only trying to earn a living and feed their family. BTW I know your name is not Scooter, Biff or Buffy.